Wedding menu

[imnewhere2024]

DP and I recently got engaged (yay) so we are starting to plan the wedding. We are at very early stages but have run into a very interesting question. DP and I are both vegetarian for ethical reasons with our families and most of our friends being meat eaters. Venues are asking our preferences for menus so they can provide us costs so we need to make a choice on whether to provide meat or do a vegetarian only dinner.

For clarity, when we go out to dinner with meat eaters we have no issue with people ordering a meat option, but given we are the ones footing the bill, it feels like we have a say over what they eat. Honestly, we don’t feel good about paying for meat to be consumed on our wedding day, and would be offering a decent range of veggie options (not your bog standard risotto or tofu loaf etc) Friends have never complained about our dietary choices when we go to their homes or events, its pretty easy these days to cater for and we are not picky eaters at all but I feel weird imposing our vegetarian ideas on them. Has anyone faced the same issue issue or have any insight ?

I'd expect vegetarian food at a wedding of two vegetarians. I'd be a but bemused if they served meat.

As long as you have a decent menu and cater for allergies (I'm allergic to mushrooms and soy) then it'd be odd for a guest to be put out.

Just serve the menu you want

Do a vegetarian menu. I eat meat and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

What are the family like about it? I went to a vegetarian wedding and it was lovely food but my elderly parents who are meat and two veg kind of eaters would have really struggled. My dad probably wouldn't eat anything if I had a veggie wedding but if your family are more flexible why not or could you have something people won't realise isn't meat?

It’s not a hardship for a meat eater to eat a meat free meal for one day. If anyone has an issue, they don’t have to come, but the ones who care enough about you won’t make a song and dance over a lack of meat.

I would expect at least one meat option if I was at a wedding.

I would find it refreshing to try something new and wouldn't be surprised to be offered a veg menu from two vegetarians. I don't think it's a problem at all but there will no doubt be someone that complains. Then again it's a wedding so people will complain about anything!

I’d expect vegetarian food at a wedding between two vegetarians, the same as I’d expect a vegan menu if the bride and groom were vegan.

Serve a vegetarian menu.
just be sure to ask about allergies, and not just common ones.

Meat free menu, do it!

I would expect to be served vegetarian at a wedding of two vegetarians.

You see I care more about my guests than myself so I would be offering a range of options, I certainly wouldn’t be inflicting my life choices on my friends and family. In the same way, I wouldn’t expect my veggie friends to eat meat at my wedding!

just offer choices.

It's your wedding and you're paying for it so definitely go for veggie, anyone who cares about you two won't care if there's meat or not.

^ This

I would just serve vegetarian as I said, but if you really feel like you want to please meat eaters, I think I’d opt for something pretty universal like a roast dinner of some kind, because the meat eaters can have meat but the veggies can fill up on veg, potatoes etc and it’s easy, you don’t have to worry about too many options. Then have a vegetarian dessert which most are anyway. Job done.

I personally wouldn’t care (as long as there’s something other than risotto 🤮 🤮) However, be aware that some people can get funny about things like this. Are you willing to fall out with people about it?

I had a vegan only wedding last year and everyone commented on how much they loved the food. Especially my meat and 2 veg loving older relatives who I thought wouldn't be so keen.

We did however pay extra to give everyone a choice of 4 mains (All vegan) and tried to go with dishes that could quite easily come without meat anyway.

The winners were a vegetable pie and a mushroom and truffle pasta dish. I think along as you try and cater nice vegetable dishes rather than give people fake meat/tofu you'll be fine. Starter and desert are easily vegetarian anyway.
And anyone commenting on the day is just downright rude.

This, we had options

So we are leaning towards our favourite Italian restaurant which is opposite our church. https://www.teatrohall.com/weddings/

They have great veggie pasta and pizza and can cater for allergies or vegan diets - veggie pasta I think can be easier to give to non meaters compared to a high end roast which most venues offer. Nut roasts are pretty awful and no one wants that really

On the topic of others - we think most of our friends would be ok, but there are a few older family members who would kick off and make comments. I’m a people pleaser so am more on the fence, but DP is pretty adamant about it, literally said “there’s a McDonald’s over the road, let them go there is they have an issue” which TBf I think is the right attitude. I just don’t want to cause conflict

Completely agree. Wouldn't force my own personal choices on guests.

I would fully expect a vegetarian menu and be more than happy with it. Go for it!

Don’t do this! “The veggies can fill up on veg, potatoes etc”! Welcome back to the 1960s.

Serve what you want! I’d be happy with anything. Some people might moan but then I haven’t been to a wedding when at least a few people weren’t moaning about the food. Even really thoughtful couples who catered for everyone. I saw one person say during the dinner service she’d have the vegan option (she said it looked nicer than the meat one! She hadn’t ordered it so one person had no dinner or a hasty replacement). Anyway, I digress. You can’t please everyone so please yourself! It’s your day.

My cousin is a vegetarian (her now-husband eats veggie at home with her but not elsewhere) and their wedding was veggie. It was delicious and above all it was a true expression of them and their own personal approach to generosity which is what weddings should be. I'm veggie too so perhaps that's easy for me to say. but I certainly wouldn't pay my own money towards meat to be served. It's counter to my ethical principles. And it just isn't necessary to make a fantastic meal!

I would welcome the chance to try a different veggie dish. For me, eating out is about trying things I’ve never cooked at home