Oh god, I used to have this all the fucking time. He also sprung extra guests on me. We arranged 12 for dinner, then it’s suddenly 16, and he’s already issued the invitations.
My ex was very, very sociable (I used to be too).
However as the years went on I got so fed up with all the work it generated (cleaning, shopping, buying the booze, organising menu, table, crockery and cutlery, cooking, making up beds, all the clearing up afterwards, stripping beds, washing and ironing bedding etc).
When we would have a massive party (he insisted - always once, sometimes twice a year). he would only get involved on the Saturday itself -set up music and get in a couple of beer barrels (oh sorry, forgot it was me that had to pick them up and return the empties).
On the night itself he would be the life and soul of the party. Meanwhile I would end up going to bed early-ish (but after midnight) because of being exhausted and having to get up the next morning with our child. While he would be partying till 4am (boom, boom, boom -went the stereo). Then he’d be hungover all Sunday, while I had to clean up the detritus so it was safe for a toddler.
Eventually I rebelled. If he invited, he shopped and cooked. I still ended up with the fucking cleaning and beds, though. If it was something he did without reference to me, he either cooked or we went to the pub.
He once invited a load of mates over for a rugby watching overnight stay. He got pissed off with me when I asked if they could ring their own bedding. He lectured me that making a bed was easy and quick, why was I being so lazy? It involved making up 4 beds. In a fit of pique he said he would do it, if I didn’t want to. Funny, I noticed when they came over, they bought their own bedding.
Eventually I stopped joining in, but our marriage was pretty much over by then.
Sorry for the vent, but you can probably tell this caused a LOT OF resentment by me in our marriage.
OP, I’m sorry to tell you that your husband doesn’t consider you his equal. He possibly doesn’t even think he needs to consult you when joint decisions need to be made. I bet he and all his/your friends think he’s such a great guy. He’s not. If you have a look at other aspects of your marriage, you may start finding similar examples of his entitlement.
Please don’t be like me, and get fooled by his seeming generosity and open handedness. Put a stop to it now, and make him treat you as his equal.
Please Read Fortunes of War by Olivia Manning (was a BBC series as well). My ex was Guy Pringle. (But you probably don’t have time)
Thankyou, rant over.
P.S He also used to go out for a couple of beers after work on a Friday. But that could turn into an all nighter. So I started saying on a Friday morning before we both left for work “what are our plans for tonight? - I fancy going to blah, or let’s go eat at blah, blah” (this was before children). That way if we had plans, there was more chance of him getting home on time.
So perhaps you need to preempt him and make firm plans in the week for the weekend.