Husband hates taking his shoes off inside

[WarmSwan]

… that’s it, really.

We live in a city centre, and when we walk outside, we frequently see dog poo on the pavements, and occasionally vermin.

However, I apparently am a massive nag because I want him to take his outdoor shoes* off when inside our flat or other people’s homes.

*I even bought him really nice slippers, as I know he doesn’t like the feeling of walking barefoot through the flat. He puts them on most of the time but still complains that I am being difficult.

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Can anyone else relate to this situation or AIBU?

We have hard flooring downstairs but a relatively strict no shoes upstairs rule. In practice we retake shoes off when come in and put slippers on, but there’s no drama from guests etc wearing shoes. I’d prefer a shoes off house but we have a lot of visitors plus pets so….im pragmatic.

in your case,I’d get some indoor shoes and also he needs to do some cleaning.

😂 it’s brilliant isn’t it !

Can't understand anyone wanting to walk that in the house. Even if they don't get ill.

It's not visible and it has no effect. So I can't get worked up about it. Very simple.

None of us ever get ill. We clearly have great immune systems.

Me too. Growing up it was considered very lower middle class and laughable to insist on shoes being taken off indoors. I let people do what they like downstairs but have a no shoes policy on carpeted areas. My mother would have been horrified 😂

I do find it really weird and unwelcoming if I go to a party or dinner party at a Friend’s house and im
asked to remove shoes on a hardwood or tiled floor. Feels really odd

It's not up to you to tell him to take his shoes off at OTHER people's houses. That's up to the hosts.

At yours where you do the cleaning, I think it's justified.

Other people's houses is their rules.

This is how l got horrible athletes foot that I can’t get rid of. Trainers inside is a bad idea.

Buy him some of those covers that you can put over your shoes when inside.

I never wear uncomfortable shoes, but when I kick off my shoes and putting my slippers on my feet give a sigh of relief. I imagine it's similar to women who take their bra off when they get home (I don't find bras uncomfortable BTW).

This is why I don't understand why he wouldn't want to take his shoes off. Hygiene doesn't even come into it.

Swapping to indoor shoes is hardly a big ask, especially as he won't clean the floor.

I second that.
Plus, it's really F dirty! 🤮

Then he can clean it

If the man needed shoes he could wear suitable shoes. Just ones kept for inside only.

Honestly op I think you have bigger issues than shoes. If my DH didn't see dirt I'd have things to think about in the relationship. How do you live with that?

Can you have indoor shoes then?

Sorry, gotta add 😊
I'm also from Eastern Europe, when I introduced this idea (taking shoes off at home) to my husband, he actually thought it was brilliant and now has a "collection" of Summer and Winter
"homey slippers" 😁.

Your husband is correct, OP. It's extremely tacky and vulgar to ask people to remove their shoes indoors. Who wants to see someone's holey socks or bare feet? Would you expect to remove your shoes if you went to Buckingham Palace?
Floors are meant to be walked on, and can be cleaned.

I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

This is your biggest issue.
It's his home as much as yours so your shoes off does not Trump his shoes on.

Him expecting you to clean up after him is another issue

Same as others we have indoor shoes as we found slippers not supportive enough and caused knee pain. In the winter I need to wear something on my feet as the floor is cold.

Very similar here Patty we’re in and out a hundred times a day. It wouldn’t make sense to take boots on and off all the time.

My husband is like this. I bought him slippers with a hard sole and that worked really well…

…until he started taking the bin out in the slippers 😒

i would literally dry right up if my husband started wearing crocs.

Just get him indoor shoes. My cleaner has a pair of indoor trainers she changes into when she gets here. No different to wearing slippers. So just get whatever he finds comfiest.

For most of my life it hasn't been a thing to automatically take your shoes off indoors. But it seemed to become the norm and I do do it now. I feel weird to wear heavy shoes inside and like wearing slippers. Notably every child/ teen (kids' friends) who has been to our house over the past 20 years has taken their shoes off at the door but not every adult. My dad actually refuses to. It's just become more of the custom than it used to be. It is a personal matter. As someone said, no one licks the floors.

Height of rudeness not to remove shoes in Scandinavian homes. So out of the social norm it would be hard to come back from. Home is a sanctuary.