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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband hates taking his shoes off inside

316 replies

WarmSwan · 01/03/2024 23:12

… that’s it, really.

We live in a city centre, and when we walk outside, we frequently see dog poo on the pavements, and occasionally vermin.

However, I apparently am a massive nag because I want him to take his outdoor shoes* off when inside our flat or other people’s homes.

*I even bought him really nice slippers, as I know he doesn’t like the feeling of walking barefoot through the flat. He puts them on most of the time but still complains that I am being difficult.

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Can anyone else relate to this situation or AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Manyandyoucanwalkover · 02/03/2024 05:35

I’ve trained my DH to take his shoes off in the house. I just didn’t give up.

Original poster
WarmSwan · 02/03/2024 05:41

NewName24 · 02/03/2024 00:26

Whatever your preference is, YABU to presume that your preference is somehow more important than his preference. As that is all it is - a preference.

But how have you got to the situation of being married before this has become an issue? Presumably you spent time together before hand ?

We have been married a couple of years but recently moved somewhere that we always have to side-step around all the dog shit, piss, vomit and other litter on every walk. It made me want to keep a cleaner home.

OP posts:
thebestinterest · 02/03/2024 05:48

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
Wearing outside shoes inside one’s home has got to be one of the foulest things a person can do. It’s even more egregious if you live in a city.

You track all sorts of crap on your shoes; why bring it inside your house?

OP, I solved this by getting my DH a comfy pair of inside shoes.

thebestinterest · 02/03/2024 05:49

notthefrontdoor · 01/03/2024 23:15

Never take mine off inside- I hate slippers except before bed and in the morning

Grim 🤮

thebestinterest · 02/03/2024 05:54

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 01/03/2024 23:18

I have having to take my shoes off in someone's house. I have plantar facilitis so sleepers are a no go too.

Is it not his house too?

This reminds me… I had a visitor over once when my LO was still crawling, so I asked them to please remove their shoes. Oh dear lord, the smell of his socks/feet near about killed me. I instantly regretted having asked him to remove his shoes 😂😭

As soon as he left I brought out floor wash and mopped with hot water l. I had to give my floors a serious scrubbing. I couldn’t believe the smell coming from their feet.

Even though this happened once, My floors are clean; I still ask guest to remove their shoes.

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 02/03/2024 06:12

We both hate being bare footed and haven’t owned slippers since childhood. We change into clean indoor shoes or boots when we get home.
Simple.

TammyJones · 02/03/2024 06:22

PaminaMozart · 01/03/2024 23:23

Wearing outdoor shoes indoors is gross.
Wear slippers, indoors shoes, thick socks....... whatever.
But not outdoor shoes...

Dog Pooh's on pavement
Pooh drys
Person walks on dry dog pooh / vomit / chewing gum / spit whatever
Person then walks in house.....
Pavement may look clean.
Can't understand anyone wanting to walk that in the house.
Even if they don't get ill.

TammyJones · 02/03/2024 06:33

Isthisreasonable · 02/03/2024 00:25

Sweaty feet on your flooring. Lovely.

My feet are washed daily.

TammyJones · 02/03/2024 06:40

Garlicking · 02/03/2024 03:37

Anyway, my flat's so small that the first place you could sit to take 'em off is living room ... and once your shoes have come in, they may as well stay on your feet!

Can't you just flip the heel ?
I can do that outside if I've been gardening and very muddy.
One foot inside after first shoe and as i come in flip the last shoe off.
Otherwise I take my shoes off on the inside door mat 🤷‍♀️

TammyJones · 02/03/2024 06:51

verrrysadd · 02/03/2024 05:31

I hate anybody wearing shoes in my house. I can just about deal with the hard floors as they are easily mopped clean, but carpets should not have dirty shoes on them ever.

We are a no shoes house and even our 6 monthly carpet clean results in black water being drawn out from the carpets. Imagine the filth coming from carpets that have shoes on them all the time.

He should invest in a cheap pair of outdoor shoes to use only to keep on indoors

Can believe that.
The back door (we use all the time) once a light ish coloured carpet tiles.
No shoes inside house.
We had a mat just inside the door.
When you moved the mat ti hoovering you could see the difference (normal colour under the mat) much darker colour where the mat hasn't been.
Replaced with laminated now as easy to clean.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 02/03/2024 07:25

changedagain67543 · 02/03/2024 00:13

LTB

😂😂😂

FeelingLostTheseDays · 02/03/2024 07:27

Dotty2dot · 01/03/2024 23:19

I'm sure lots of people will relate to this situation. I mean it's not like it's been done to death on MN before.

I really hate this kind of post. So what if it has been discussed before? Maybe the poster is new? Maybe they want to discuss their relationship? It was clear what the thread was about. You didn’t have to open it.

FeelingLostTheseDays · 02/03/2024 07:29

shenandoahvalley · 02/03/2024 00:12

I actually wouldn’t have a problem with shoes indoors in a rural setting. It’s the city detritus coming into my living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom that’s disgusting. People peeing in the street, dog shit, rat pee, rotten food that gets trodden into concrete, not to mention whatever inorganic shite might be covering buses and tubes and pavements and escalators and <shudder>. Just grossness that doesn’t belong in a home.

A lamb in my kitchen, one that’s traipsed through the muck in the yard and whatever animal detritus in the field - to me that’s “clean” dirt. As long as you don’t eat off the floor, you know what it is at least. But city dirt is something else. There’s actually a type of bacteria that lives on the northern line that’s literally never been found anywhere else on the planet. It may be harmless…..or it may not.

Show quote history

There’s actually a type of bacteria that lives on the northern line that’s literally never been found anywhere else

Really?! I have lived near various stops on the northern line for 30 years. It’s surprising I am still alive!

Bogofftosomewherehot · 02/03/2024 07:36

I have a friend who keeps a basket of flip-flops at the door, expecting visitors to grab a pair. Felt really grossed out taking off my sandals to put my feet in flip-flops that had been between numerous peoples toes. (athletes foot anyone?)

MiL has a very strict shoes off policy. But she'll happily lick her cooking spoons and put them back in the pot or the sauce jar. Or lick her fingers as she prepares food such as bread,cake etc. Gross!!! 😳

pictoosh · 02/03/2024 07:42

I rarely take my shoes or boots off indoors...and I don't like slippers either. I do have a pair of Birkenstocks that are kind of used as slippers but they have a firm, grippy sole so I'm always ready for action should I need to be.
It's a mild sensory/anxiety thing for me I suppose...I feel vulnerable with no shoes on. I'm in danger of smashing my foot/toes into something, standing on something, standing IN something, slipping on the stairs...whatever. I feel secure and 'ready' with shoes on.

When I visit a household that removes shoes, I do so too and without a murmur...but I hate it and remain conscious of the fact the entire time. I'm always relieved when I can put my footwear back on.

Weird? Maybe slightly. I'm sure other people feel as I do though.

Hoglet70 · 02/03/2024 07:45

We do walk in with shoes on as its all wooden floors downstairs but nobody goes upstairs in their shoes as I don't like outdoor shoes on the carpets.

nutella8 · 02/03/2024 07:45

Anyone who walks into my house thinking they can keep their shoes on is cunt.

Trulyme · 02/03/2024 07:59

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Why are you doing most of the cleaning?

Does he have a physical disability that means he finds it difficult?

Its absolutely ridiculous that one adult should do most of the cleaning unless the other one is doing most of the cooking etc to make it fair.

MissTrip82 · 02/03/2024 08:01

No rules about shoes here.

In 45 years nobody has tracked dog shit through my home.

Just as they haven’t through, say, Buckingham Palace. Where strangely there is also not a basket of flip flops at the door.

Like others I take my shoes off if visiting others who have a rule. Just as they would demand of the King, I’m sure. Due to the dog shit.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/03/2024 08:03

@grumpycleaner , funny that you relate ‘shoes-on’ to working class. My family/friends circle when I was growing up was very much MC and shoes-off was unheard of.

Unless they’re obviously very wet or muddy, we are still shoes-on in this house and AFAIK no crawling Dcs or Gdcs have ever caught any nasties from our carpets. Our dog and cat (when we had them) didn’t usually wipe their feet either.

likepebblesonabeach · 02/03/2024 08:07

YANBU but neither is your husband, I personally love my slippers and would wear them outside if I could so always change into them as soon as I get in but your husband can really wear what he wants in his own house

Cosyblankets · 02/03/2024 08:09

grumpycleaner · 02/03/2024 04:28

I've had the same clash with DH. I've come to see it as one of a list of things he clings to from his working class childhood despite being degree educated middle income now. It got a bit better when we had a crawling toddler, then worse again. He always delays it and claims he's too busy. Last confrontation I pointed out he had found time to take his coat off and with an edge I said he needed to make time AS A MARK OF RESPECT FOR THE PERSON CLEANING THE FLOORS and things have again improved a little.

So it's a sign of low income now?

YouJustDoYou · 02/03/2024 08:10

It's completely unnacceptable to have outdoor shoes on inside a home, school etc where I come from, it's seen as extremely dirty. Cannot understand why people would walk around in filth outside only to walk that filth inside, just makes them seem like filthy people themsleves.

NotaNorovirusFan · 02/03/2024 08:12

My ex h was the same, he worked outdoors and refused to take his work boots off when he got home from work, not only was it disgusting but the kids couldn’t get ti sleep because of the noise he made clomping around the house all evening!

I tend to wear crocs inside but will wear them out to the garden too if I’m just running out to the washing line or car so I’m not super strict about them being ‘indoor’ shoes.

pictoosh · 02/03/2024 08:13

Ooh shots fired.

I'm going for a run shortly but I'll look forward to coming back to a hot coffee and fisticuffs over the she shoes on/shoes off debate. It's what Saturday mornings are made for.