Husband hates taking his shoes off inside

[WarmSwan]

… that’s it, really.

We live in a city centre, and when we walk outside, we frequently see dog poo on the pavements, and occasionally vermin.

However, I apparently am a massive nag because I want him to take his outdoor shoes* off when inside our flat or other people’s homes.

*I even bought him really nice slippers, as I know he doesn’t like the feeling of walking barefoot through the flat. He puts them on most of the time but still complains that I am being difficult.

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Can anyone else relate to this situation or AIBU?

Who cleans the soles of their shoes as they come in?

Doormats aren't enough

You must be used to the smell now then, if you use your outdoor shoes indoors.

This is the perfect solution but shoes-on people will say they can't do this.

I think it depends on the flooring. If it’s all carpet it can be problematic. If it’s hard flooring then fair enough, that can be cleaned easily, so long as he’s not being unreasonable by constantly traipsing muddy shoes across the floor.

I’ll be doing my hallway in hard flooring soon so that you can walk right the way through the house without having to tread on carpet. Only the living room and a couple of the bedrooms will be carpet in the end.

I would love to see the lambs in the kitchen, @PattySpringsteen !

Any chance of a pic?

Laziness.

It is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING to wear outdoor shoes in your house or someone else’s.

have you seen the state of the pavements in the Uk? Dog shit and people’s great big gobs of spit/phlegm. It’s absolutely rank.

outdoor shoes shouldn’t be worn inside at home.

END OF!

Yes. For me it’s ok in the day and for casual meet-ups. But in the evening or when being invited over for dinner, it feels strangely infantilising to be told I have to remove part of my outfit on arrival! I do of course with a smile and no complaint. But I don’t like it!

I have trainers to wear inside. I also ask everyone to remove shoes when they come in if they're going onto a carpeted area. This is since, several years ago, I moved into a new house with brand new pale coloured carpets. I had visitors round to see the new house. One of them had stood on a fuchsia flower on the way in and my lovely new carpet was stained with purple splodges all through the house - it didn't come out properly though I tried many times, the insurance didn't cover it and I couldn't afford new carpets. I was SO upset!

I do provide hotel type slippers or overshoes if people prefer these

I'm a shoes-off person in the house but I don't make my guests take them off (unless they ask/offer then I'll say yes). I'm not hugely invested in the rights and wrongs of shoes on vs shoes off.

What I find deeply baffling about the OP is that she has married a man and lives in a house with him, and only now is realising he's a shoes-on person? How has this issue not come up before? Surely it's the sort of thing you get to know about someone within the first month of meeting them? How is it only a problem now?

Don't do all the cleaning. Unless you think it's your duty as a woman. 🤔

But presumably you don’t take your bra off when you get home as you don’t find it uncomfortable, though you know others do? Same for shoes. Just because your feet breathe a sigh of relief doesn’t mean that’s how others feel.

For me, if the shoes have a deep tread and are likely to visibly bring in mud or similar, we take them off. If the soles are pretty flat and don’t, then we don’t. And if they do, the treader hoovers it up.

Probably would take them off more often if we had a nice spacious hallway with seating etc, but it’s such a PITA when we all get back in walking boots or similar and everyone is balancing on one leg in a couple of square metres and and loosening laces on the path outside and it’s just annoying- necessary for clumpy boots like that.

I'm a few decades old, and do not know a single person or family where shoes are not allowed indoors except for muddy wellies and football boots. Saying that, my family all love their slippers but it's a choice.

We have hard floors so not bothered about shoes on or off.
I also don't care what others want to do in their home and understand why shoes on carpets are banned but I am a bit puzzled about the gross/unhygienic aspect when people insist shoes are so vile but have pets. Dogs and cats don't even try to avoid shit/phlegm/rats etc (in my experience they actively seek out anything gross/smelly). Just as unhygienic as humans shoes.

What do people with pets do? Make them wear dog slippers?

Just wash their paws off in the shower.

I use wheelchair, I don't clean my wheels every time I come in.

Husband has balance issues.

He uses outdoor shoes always, we steam mop regularly.

I don’t know a single dog or cat owner who does this every time they come back inside the house. So pp makes a good point I think!

Oooh er! Why all the shouting? Can’t others do what they want?

My nearest pavement is 7 km away so I am not really bothered about any potential rankness. And I have a foot scraper and several stout coir door mats although the dogs seem to think they are there to lay dead rats on 😂

The majority of people take their shoes off when they get inside, he’s being unreasonable

I only do this when he’s really muddy but not when it’s dry / summer etc

Ok I’m not in the UK but I don’t know a single dog owner who doesn’t if they’ve got dirty paws. Then again, I don’t know s single peron who has a carpet in their house either.

I don’t take my shoes off inside, I don’t tend to stand in dog shit though and I’m also the one that does all the cleaning.

DS’s cat comes in through his cat flap in the middle of the night and goes straight to sleep on DS’s bed.

I don’t think he wakes himeself up and showers off the cat’s paws.

It's very Nancy Mitford U and Non U. People never took their shoes off until the middle classes lost their servants during/after the war and the ladies had to start doing their own cleaning😱