Husband hates taking his shoes off inside

[WarmSwan]

… that’s it, really.

We live in a city centre, and when we walk outside, we frequently see dog poo on the pavements, and occasionally vermin.

However, I apparently am a massive nag because I want him to take his outdoor shoes* off when inside our flat or other people’s homes.

*I even bought him really nice slippers, as I know he doesn’t like the feeling of walking barefoot through the flat. He puts them on most of the time but still complains that I am being difficult.

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Can anyone else relate to this situation or AIBU?

It's shoes off in our house for absolutely everybody - my wife's culture won't entertain the idea of outdoor shoes coming into the house. But most threads on Mumsnet are about 50-50, usually with some posters on each side accusing the other side of being totally incapable of understanding that other people do things differently.

I know, about a billion times 😑

Same with my dp he has plantar fasciitis and needs to have hard soles trainers on all the time. Barefoot is agony for him

Do you know really fucks me off - when people ask you on the doorstep if they need to remove their shoes when clearly there are loads of shoes that have been taken off. Then you have to say yes and look like a psycho. TAKE THEM OFF YOU DIRTY ARTICLES

Trust me, you are so far from "the least fussy", you'd need a 10-hour flight to get there!

Can't he just have shoes he wears only indoors. Kind of like slippers but real shoes? Then they wouldn't be dirty.

Anyway, my flat's so small that the first place you could sit to take 'em off is living room ... and once your shoes have come in, they may as well stay on your feet!

Agree with this.
Also have hard floors. I don’t automatically take my shoes off when I come in. Done me absolutely no harm.

My son also wears orthotic insoles and has been medically advised to keep his shoes on as much as possible. Still done us no harm.

He does - regular slippers and some indoor only slip-on Skecher shoes.

Haha, him or me?

I've had the same clash with DH. I've come to see it as one of a list of things he clings to from his working class childhood despite being degree educated middle income now. It got a bit better when we had a crawling toddler, then worse again. He always delays it and claims he's too busy. Last confrontation I pointed out he had found time to take his coat off and with an edge I said he needed to make time AS A MARK OF RESPECT FOR THE PERSON CLEANING THE FLOORS and things have again improved a little.

Yes indoor shoes or slippers. Wearing outdoor shoes inside is gross.

It’s mostly tiles, but with some carpet.

Genuinely can’t tell if this is a joke, on the off chance that it isn’t she clearly means that rats are dirty, and walking on roads that they walk on means your shoes are dirty!

If it’s his house too and he wants to wear shoes, he should be the one who cleans the floors. As he isn’t doing this, it’s him who’s being ludicrous. I’m definitely biased because the idea of wearing shoes inside is wild to me- it’s just basic hygiene to take them off imo!

We don’t wear shoes either. Do people with carpet not mind shoes? Don’t say ‘we wipe them’ if you know anyone that wear Doc Martens or similar (grooved soles) bits just sit in there, dry and then fall out. They’re basically cleaning their shoes on your carpets.
We use the blue booties too.
FIL refuses to remove his shoes, I put on the blue booties and lo and behold got dog shit on my hand from his filthy, rotten shoes! I’ve gotten mud and a slug too.

If you wear shoes inside, your home IS dirty. Presumably you don’t sleep in your slippers? So you’re taking this filth into your bed.

This varies massively by culture.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditionoffremovingshoessintheehomeanddhousesoff_worship#:~:text=public%20indoor%20spaces.-,Eastern%20Europe,can%20keep%20their%20shoes%20on.

Can't speak for your DH, but my PIL has a shoes off house and weren't prepared to make exceptions for disabled people. It was very stressful.

My house slippers are actual shoes because i need the support. Just an easy to slip on pair of shoes that absolutely never leave the house.

my DH occasionally complains about the no shoe rule. I tell
him to buy slipppers or house shoes. He grumbles and keeps padding around in bare feet

People might disagree but I think it’s possible for people to get used to wearing shoes in the home because they wear shoes in most other indoor settings, such as schools and offices with carpets.

eg kids wear shoes indoors at primary school. They also then sit on the floor of the classroom for some activities, and then may not change out of their school uniform when they get home and sit on the sofa or sit in bed to do homework.

I also think tbh, if i’m going to someone’s house who actually, i’m not really close with, i will obv remove my shoes if they want me to, but i don’t feel comfortable sitting there in my socks.

Yes, I let DH wear proper indoor-only shoes.

Quite often, I end up holding my tongue when I see him clomping around in his boots he’s been wearing outside all day. The issue is I don't have the time or energy to sanitise the floor or his shoes daily; and that DH conveniently doesn’t see dirt (and is also oblivious to all the studies, like this one).

I agree that being asked to take party shoes off can be annoying, but I always do it out of respect for the host.

I dont understand these posts.

You are married and have presumably lived together for years. How is it only coming up now?

Have you randomly now decided "no shoes"?
Or has he randomly decided "shoes!" After years of living shoe free in the house?

Also yanbu outdoor shoes throughout the whole house is gross but if he was willing to clean the floors daily i might compromise.

Oh another thing - as a mother of very young kids and host of playdates - in warmer weather we’ll often have a situation of kids coming in and out of the garden constantly. I’ll be following them wherever they go as they are so young ans honestly, I cba to take shoes off each time.

No rats today, I have just read numerous studies about how unclean shoes typically are.

Also, the post wasn’t meant to be about being morally superior, I wanted to hear from a broader perspective.

I was brought up like this. Shoes come off as
soon as you've gone through the front door.
What's wrong with walking around in sock feet?
I was taught that it was a mark of respect, but the first time I went to exs house where he lived with his parents, I was apparently immediately judged and I quote "She's all fur coat and no knickers" (Liverpudlian family). Just for taking my shoes off after I entered their home.
19 year old girl trying to be respectful, oh those red flags started flying early.

I think the reason is he grew up in a house where he never had to take his shoes off, and his mum did all the cleaning.

I hate anybody wearing shoes in my house. I can just about deal with the hard floors as they are easily mopped clean, but carpets should not have dirty shoes on them ever.

We are a no shoes house and even our 6 monthly carpet clean results in black water being drawn out from the carpets. Imagine the filth coming from carpets that have shoes on them all the time.

He should invest in a cheap pair of outdoor shoes to use only to keep on indoors