Husband hates taking his shoes off inside

[WarmSwan]

… that’s it, really.

We live in a city centre, and when we walk outside, we frequently see dog poo on the pavements, and occasionally vermin.

However, I apparently am a massive nag because I want him to take his outdoor shoes* off when inside our flat or other people’s homes.

*I even bought him really nice slippers, as I know he doesn’t like the feeling of walking barefoot through the flat. He puts them on most of the time but still complains that I am being difficult.

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Can anyone else relate to this situation or AIBU?

People who wear shoes constantly must have awful feet. Feet need to spread out and relax, not be stuffed in tight shoes all the time.

I used to always take my shoes off. Then I got plantar fasciitis. Very painful trying to walk in bare feet or slippers.

You can get a pair of trainers or whatever that you just wear inside. Lots of people with plantar fasciitis wear crocs inside. It works for me, I've had no symptoms of it for years now with crocs all the time inside.

I think that the amount of dog shit on the streets is just gross. I hate shoes indoors for this reason. It's not that a bit of plain mud would upset me, it's actual dog shit and also carcinogenic shite that comes out of vehicles in urban areas that is all over the pavements and therefore shoes.

You're clearly extremely fastidious about keeping things clean if you are imagining that somehow rats are getting into your house by proxy of transferring their presence on the underside of shoes.

Having shoes off is your personal preference. You're not morally superior because of your preference for when you wear your shoes.

It's his house too. If he wants to wear shoes, he can wear shoes. Unless he has an actual dead rat stuck to the sole, your reasons are ludicrous.

Definitely not crocs. They cripple me. Vile things. And my back is too bad to be able to lace up trainers. Just changing shoes is painful and awkward.

I'm not bothered if people wear shoes in the house or not. In fact, I went out to collect DH earlier, and just noticed I'm still wearing my boots. I was brought up in an era when taking your shoes off at the door was much less common than it is now. Floors are floors, and I'm not precious. I don't crawl about on them, or lick them.

That said, I usually wear slippers in the house, because they are more comfortable.

But it's his house too, so if he wants to wear shoes then you'll have to work out a compromise.

😂 So many people on here refuse to see that others live different lives. You should see the lambs in the kitchen some days…

I wear shoes inside so it wouldn’t bother me.

This

What’s his issue with it?

It’s beyond grim to wear shoes indoors when you live in a city. Just gross. If he articulates what his problem is, maybe you can find a solution together. If he just “doesn’t want to”, tell him to clean the floors on the days and at the times you do it.

I'm with you OP!

My DH sounds like yours

And I'm the one who somehow always ends up hoovering/cleaning

Plus we have mainly carpet in our home apart from crap lino in the kitchen...outdoor shoes on carpet is grim in my opinion

You mention living in a city. Why is it “beyond grim?”. Do you think the same when people live rurally?

I actually wouldn’t have a problem with shoes indoors in a rural setting. It’s the city detritus coming into my living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom that’s disgusting. People peeing in the street, dog shit, rat pee, rotten food that gets trodden into concrete, not to mention whatever inorganic shite might be covering buses and tubes and pavements and escalators and <shudder>. Just grossness that doesn’t belong in a home.

A lamb in my kitchen, one that’s traipsed through the muck in the yard and whatever animal detritus in the field - to me that’s “clean” dirt. As long as you don’t eat off the floor, you know what it is at least. But city dirt is something else. There’s actually a type of bacteria that lives on the northern line that’s literally never been found anywhere else on the planet. It may be harmless…..or it may not.

LTB

My opinions on this matter are mainly fuelled by the hideous memories of DH walking dog shit into our living room/bedroom carpets before I smelt it/saw it

Just disgusting and has put me off shoes indoors since then!

I love a good old outdoor-shoes-indoors thread in the same way that I love an ear wax extraction video or pimple-popping clip on YouTube; it's so damn gross!
I can't decide which is more grim: outdoor shoes in the kitchen or, wait for it... in the bedroom!? Outdoor shoes in the living room is also pretty grotty, as is outdoor shoes in the bathroom. Just yuk.
I'm usually quite easy about most things, but I draw the line at shoes indoors.

Wearing sandals in a dry/hot country where tiled floors are the norm - no worries.

Wearing outdoor shoes anywhere else, city or rural - gross.

I have a DH who is similar. After many discussions I have put my foot down and he has two choices:
a) he takes shoes off
b) he keeps them on, but hoovers and mops throughout daily, to remove the grime and debris he's brought in by tramping up and down in outdoor shoes.

He can choose. What is definitely not happening is that he gets to choose to keep his shoes on and I have to wash the floors daily or put up with dirty floors. Ain't happening, because that just isn't fair.

Sweaty feet on your flooring. Lovely.

Whatever your preference is, YABU to presume that your preference is somehow more important than his preference. As that is all it is - a preference.

But how have you got to the situation of being married before this has become an issue? Presumably you spent time together before hand ?

I have indoor shoes

You are not unreasonable to have standards in your own home.

However, in
other people’s homes.
that is nagging, he is not 5, you are not his mother.

Disgusting disrespectful habit. Not allowed in my house

I wear what I want outdoor shoes inside, most the time I wear slippers.

We are a shoes off at the door house it’s cultural and just totally unacceptable. But I have a runner in the hall that’s washable and all guests go through to the kitchen, diner, seating area when we entertain and we have hard flooring there so some offer and some don’t so it’s ok. Most remove without being asked.

My brother has many pairs of new slippers at his house so guests can take a pair to wear and then take them home, he is wealthy so it’s no bother for him.