Husband hates taking his shoes off inside

[WarmSwan]

… that’s it, really.

We live in a city centre, and when we walk outside, we frequently see dog poo on the pavements, and occasionally vermin.

However, I apparently am a massive nag because I want him to take his outdoor shoes* off when inside our flat or other people’s homes.

*I even bought him really nice slippers, as I know he doesn’t like the feeling of walking barefoot through the flat. He puts them on most of the time but still complains that I am being difficult.

It may not surprise you to learn I am the person who does almost all of the cleaning.

Can anyone else relate to this situation or AIBU?

@ancienticecream honestly I don't think outside in your garden is going to be particularly dirty, I'm a shoes-off household but that wouldn't bother me too much.

Buy him some 'inside trainers'. So, he swaps his outdoor shoes as soon as he gets in for trainers that have never been worn outside the house.

Clean but still feels like he's wearing shoes if he prefers that.

This would give me the ick.

It is demonstrably rank. There are scientific studies that show that wearing shoes in the house = lots more bacteria in the house, such as E. coli and other nice things your feet pick up outside. So in this case, unless the shoes are intended only for the house (in which case, it’s definitely a matter of opinion), it is a matter of fact. 🤢

It is a bit like you telling me that your not washing your clothes or dishes for days on end isn’t dirty, and that my thinking so is simply my opinion. 🤢

A (clean) glove has been removed and thrown on the filthy ground.
Challenge on.

You should have "trained" him before marriage and then it would have been automatic to be "shoes off" - or if he'd been a PITA about it you could have dumped him at an early stage!!

My OH "learned" to be shoes off from the first time he came into my home at the time. Start soon enough and you can train them!

We have a box of those for awkward sods who won't take off their shoes!

At least these days, most tradesmen etc bring their own shoe covers so that solves the problem. That includes the people who service our gas fire every year, the virgin tv/broadband installer, the delivery guys who brought in our new sofas and a couple of carpet fitters.

@taxguru we keep shoe covers in the house for tradesemen. The boiler service guy was pleased as he normally carries his own but had run out so saved him taking his shoes off.
Anyone else visiting who dislikes removing their shoes would be welcome to them too.

I get that some people need insoles etc for comfort, but am intrigued by those who see bare/socked/slippered feet as radical… At home, indoors! 😱

Isn’t being kind to your feet also a thing? 👣

I know some people feel really judged when asked to remove their shoes but I genuinely cannot get my head around why anyone would wear their shoes inside as well as outside. To me, it’s absolutely disgusting to walk on grass or pavements with mud, dog dirt, bird poo, dropped food, chewing gum and spit and then wear the same shoes to continue to tread that round in your home.

People that do it: rub a wet white cloth over your shoes after you’ve been out and then tell the rest of us that you’re still happy walking that into your carpets every single day. Absolutely grim. Plus it requires daily mopping of every hard floor even if you don’t have kids or pets!

I know some people feel really judged when asked to remove their shoes

I really don't understand why they do - surely it's more flattering that you're prepared to have their besocked/bare feet on your floor? It's not like they have any responsibility for what is on the pavement.

But these studies are not showing any ill effects on the household members. Germs surround us, it's just life, shoes or no shoes. If we shoes on people were all dropping dead from E. coli it would be one thing. But we're not 🤷‍♀️

You do all of the cleaning yet he wants to assert his right to undo all of your hard work... ok so what are 'his' jobs? Does he take the car for a wash or wash it- if so ask him how you'd feel if you covered it in dust and poo straight after out of choice? Does he keep a nice lawn? What about if you poured grass killer all over it? He clearly has no natural empathy so you need to use his logic on him

But these studies are not showing any ill effects on the household members.

It's not about sickness though. I won't get sick if my child has a wee accident and wipes it with a dry tissue, but it's still a bit yuck. Same for outdoor stuff on shoes coming indoors.

My home is not a supermarket or office. I want to able to sit on the floor, walk around with socks, have clean rugs. You don't want outside stuff inside, especially when it can be avoided.

Some things are ok like children nipping back from the garden. The worst thing is adults who simply refuse to comply. Whyyyyyy

Who said anything about a doormat being enough 😂?

I meant antibac spray and a wipe on the soles for a quick clean, although you can do a deeper clean. I store my unworn shoes in my wardrobe, no way I'm putting dirt in there so in answer to your first question...me, that's who!

I suspect there's a correlation between people who think wearing shoes indoors is akin to licking dog shit and those on the recent thread who said not washing your hands when you're having a wee in the night was the equivalent of pouring piss over your bedding.

I don't get it, personally. I don't lick the floor and I don't eat off it either. The only thing touching it is the bottom of my feet. I don't lick the bottom of my feet and I certainly wouldn't eat a packet of crisps with my toes either.

how awful

would be a massive ick for me

there has been studies showing soles of shoes carry very dangerous bacteria.

Hey, you do you! Still rank. 🤢🤢🤢

I’m just making a personal choice - as much about cutting out unnecessary dirt as tuning into being at home.

It’s a significant part of Scandinavian culture. Perhaps we value our indoor space in a different way, and hygge/kose is part of our laid back mentality.

I think perhaps we do have a special approach to cleanliness in our houses compared to some countries. Dirt you can’t see (well, obviously you can tell if you wear dirty shoes on a clean floor) counts too. Many Scandinavians are horrified that people still have carpets for example. At least dirty carpets..

My home environment is very important, and absolutely affects my stress. Hygge/kose/mysigt are not just words, it really is a way of living. It’s not about being a clean freak, like someone said.

I hear you @selectiveparticipations

And we all, on this thread, have our little ways of doing things ☺️

At least with a shoes off house you know you never have to dress up for a party.

Yes, and thank god we’re all not the same. Because now that would be boring. 😊

I hate being told to ruin my outfit on arrival at a party!

A bit sad if you don’t feel you can dress up without shoes. It’s just someones home, not Bafta. Concentrate on just having a good time instead.