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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think men just hate women?

1000 replies

Justsomethoughts · 29/02/2024 22:03

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that men must despise us. I think the news today about Wayne Couzens has got me pondering… My thoughts as follows:

Ive read so many threads on here about how little men contribute to household work.
Women are expected to do 99% of housework and childcare whilst sucking it up and looking pretty. This percentage doesn’t seem to change much if they also work. God forbid women complain (I refuse to use the word nag, a word only used by men when talking about women!) as they asked for a family and should be grateful they have a husband and children.

We should look visually appealing/maintain our appearance for as long as possible but not too much - that would be ‘asking for it’. If we don’t we will probably be replaced by a younger/more attractive model.

We can’t walk alone at night as we are at risk of harm (by men).

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim

The list goes on and on. I know these aren’t brand new facts and obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me but my god it’s so depressing when you think about it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Gloriosaford · 01/03/2024 00:12

I think men are more selfish and violent
I agree with this @TheNextFreakingThing
I think women also have the potential to be selfish & violent (although to a lesser degree-broadly speaking)
However men generally have a greater ability to perpetrate violence & selfishness, along with more opportunity, society gives them greater licence.
When men go bad they tend to do more damage than women.

Breakit · 01/03/2024 00:17

I do believe men see women as a free resource for their use or advancement.

AyeupDuck · 01/03/2024 00:18

Men are more violent by a lot. Almost 60% of all women killed are killed by their partner or ex partner. Something like 6,000 men are in prison for murder/manslaughter and 350 women are in prison for murder/manslaughter.

However it’s down to us as individuals how much we end up putting up with men. Also the pressure to be groomed. These two have never been an issue for me in the least but that’s because I was raised by a woman who was a strong role model.

My Mother walked out on every single man that pissed her off, she was never going to hang about being meek or grateful that she had a man. She never ever did find anyone worthy of her love sadly. I remember her bemoaning how shit men were to my friend and I when we were really young and to not put up with it. Both her and I did surprisingly end up with really decent men worthy of our love, both of them are massive nerds. My friend sadly died a couple of years ago but she died being one of the minority of my friends who had a truly decent guy.

TempestTost · 01/03/2024 00:24

No, I don't think that.

Any more than I think women as a group despise men. We can see some do, clearly, but I don't think it's all or even most.

WandaWonder · 01/03/2024 00:25

AyeupDuck · 01/03/2024 00:18

Men are more violent by a lot. Almost 60% of all women killed are killed by their partner or ex partner. Something like 6,000 men are in prison for murder/manslaughter and 350 women are in prison for murder/manslaughter.

However it’s down to us as individuals how much we end up putting up with men. Also the pressure to be groomed. These two have never been an issue for me in the least but that’s because I was raised by a woman who was a strong role model.

My Mother walked out on every single man that pissed her off, she was never going to hang about being meek or grateful that she had a man. She never ever did find anyone worthy of her love sadly. I remember her bemoaning how shit men were to my friend and I when we were really young and to not put up with it. Both her and I did surprisingly end up with really decent men worthy of our love, both of them are massive nerds. My friend sadly died a couple of years ago but she died being one of the minority of my friends who had a truly decent guy.

I have no idea if people do this on here but growing up I heard quite a few women say 'I am attracted to the bad boys' not that exact phrase word for word but if people go from person to person and can't 'find' one they like then maybe changing their criteria from the start may help? I am speaking generally

Gloriosaford · 01/03/2024 00:37

'I am attracted to the bad boys'
of course, just like the devil has all the best tunes!

Brazenhussy0 · 01/03/2024 00:43

WandaWonder · 29/02/2024 23:37

That is a lot of projecting, should they be trained like a puppy?

Show quote history

It's 40 years of experience as a woman observing the utter devastation men cause, as a class, to women globally - there is no projection involved. Others on this thread have already given some examples of the negative impact caused by men as a group, so I won't repeat it. Or if you really want to educate yourself and broaden your perspective, Google is free. You are capable of doing your own homework.

However, perhaps you have no interest in doing this, being a man yourself and benefiting from the status quo, as I suggested above? Or maybe you are a woman clinging to her internalised misogyny because it gives her a feeling of safety and comfort? (Or perhaps even a feeling of superiority above other women?) 🤔
Either way, it obviously suits you to remain ignorant and defend men as a class. That's your prerogative and I'm sure you will continue on as you are...

And yes, they should be trained and taught like any other animal should be trained and taught how to behave in a community with others equal to them. The problem is that they haven't been, because society is still structured in a way which prevents it and discourages any real change.

HollyKnight · 01/03/2024 00:43

That's only because you hear more about the bad ones. The media doesn't report on the normal men. Women on MN with normal men don't need to ask for advice about them.

Be careful you don't fall into that hole incels do thinking most women are A, B and C because some women do X, Y and Z.

terfinthewild · 01/03/2024 00:51

I think that a shocking amount of women hate men. Frightening that so many of you people are raising so sons.

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 00:53

Smartiepants79 · 29/02/2024 22:28

Well the men in my life don’t hate women. My DH, my father, my grandfathers. My father in law and uncles. Oh and my BIL and his father.
They have many wives, daughters and granddaughters between them. The women in our family are the driving force.
SOME men hate women or hold them in contempt. Not all.

The same is true for my family, it doesn't mean the OP is wrong. She did state "obviously NAMALT". I agree with her.

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 00:55

Screamingabdabz · 29/02/2024 22:38

I think there is definitely a significant number of men who don’t give a shit about women as people. They only care that women service their needs and are blind to the selfish and arrogant privilege they display.

Then there are the toxic, dangerous ones where the mentality tips over into darkness.

…But then I think about the lovely gentle men in our family and friends who are caring, respectful, supportive and nurturing. My own two young adult dds are proof of the self esteem and benefit from being brought up around strong, loving male role models.

So YABU. Lots of men are shit but not all of them.

From the OP, "obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me".

Ereshkigalangcleg · 01/03/2024 00:56

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 29/02/2024 22:24

Some men hate women. I think lots more have a veneer of treating women as nearly equals, to the point that they probably even convince themselves they believe it, but deep down they feel that women are there for their pleasure and convenience, and that that is actually how the world is supposed to be. And then there are some actual genuine good guys.

This. The number who actively hate women is bigger than most women and non misogynistic men think though.

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 00:58

Chairwoman · 29/02/2024 22:45

It isn’t all men though! That’s fucking ridiculous with the number of people we have on the planet. To say ‘all men have women’ is just crazy, IMO.
I have three sons, am I just going to accept they will grow up to hate women? Obviously not.
Fyi ‘my Nigel’ is very supportive, we both work full time, we both pull our weight with the children.

Some men (and some women) are violent and hateful. I don’t think it’s necessary to class all men as being the same, if we are writing them all off then surely that leads to more hate?

From the OP, " obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me".

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 00:58

Sususudio · 29/02/2024 22:49

As expected, posters have come along to say how lovely their husbands or sons or dads are. My son is lovely too. That doesn 't mean I don't recognise he is far more likely to commit a violent crime than my daughter. We are talking about men as a class, not individuals.

This.

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 00:59

Chairwoman · 29/02/2024 22:53

But it’s not all men! Absolutely stupid thing to say or think - and yes I’m a woman. And yes, I’m allowed an opinion without being belittled or eye rolled.

PPs with these ideologies just completely put me off mumsnet. It becomes a toxic cycle - you are trying to silence people with your eye rolling and sarcastic responses. You are trying to silence women. Hypocrisy in action I’m afraid.

From the OP, "obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me".

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 01:02

@WandaWonder Are a large portion of these over emotional, hormonal, dramatic women murdering men at a rate 3 per week?

Babla · 01/03/2024 01:04

OP your post is full of generalisations
NAMALT

SlumberDearMaid · 01/03/2024 01:05

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Babla · 01/03/2024 01:06

I think that a shocking amount of women hate men. Frightening that so many of you people are raising so sons.

And they're all on MN!

SlumberDearMaid · 01/03/2024 01:06

This reply has been deleted

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DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 01:07

terfinthewild · 01/03/2024 00:51

I think that a shocking amount of women hate men. Frightening that so many of you people are raising so sons.

Is it hated of men, or fear of men?

DetOliviaBenson · 01/03/2024 01:08

Babla · 01/03/2024 01:04

OP your post is full of generalisations
NAMALT

From the OP, "obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me".

Bex5490 · 01/03/2024 01:08

I think like any group of people who are used to years of using another group for their benefit, men hate women wanting change.

I don’t think rich people instinctively hate poor people but if every low paid worker, nanny, cleaner, driver etc decided they weren’t up for that arrangement anymore, I think the upper classes would be a little resentful…

Just like men today are.

Emily1583 · 01/03/2024 01:13

If tiktok is anything to go by then there is an apparent war of the sexes going on at the moment. Lots of woman bashing pages, and equally lots of men bashing pages.

I partly put it down to a lot of stressful personal factors going on at the moment in this country with cost of living, politics, etc, but also changing social factors such as the documented collapse in modern dating in the age of online dating, working from home, closure of meeting places such as pubs/clubs, etc. There seems be a lack of trust and commitment and a lot of resentment in relationships these days.

Babla · 01/03/2024 01:18

From the OP, "obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me".

From me: her post is full of generalisations

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