To think men just hate women?

[Justsomethoughts]

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that men must despise us. I think the news today about Wayne Couzens has got me pondering… My thoughts as follows:

Ive read so many threads on here about how little men contribute to household work.
Women are expected to do 99% of housework and childcare whilst sucking it up and looking pretty. This percentage doesn’t seem to change much if they also work. God forbid women complain (I refuse to use the word nag, a word only used by men when talking about women!) as they asked for a family and should be grateful they have a husband and children.

We should look visually appealing/maintain our appearance for as long as possible but not too much - that would be ‘asking for it’. If we don’t we will probably be replaced by a younger/more attractive model.

We can’t walk alone at night as we are at risk of harm (by men).

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim

The list goes on and on. I know these aren’t brand new facts and obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me but my god it’s so depressing when you think about it.

From personal experience big family, many happy marriages, many good male role models and work ethics so I can't say the same

I find men who hate women, tend to hold
the same energy towards anyone they deem weaker than them. It’s not specifically about being a women, it’s about being seen as weaker. For example, they’ll likely throw there weight around with men who are smaller/have less status. They are bullies, to all who they believe are inferior.

It’s not just about doing half the housework though is it? That’s easy.

What’s not easy is facing your everyday prejudices that are so ingrained you don’t realise they’re there.

Being mildly irritated when a woman has a better idea than you, in a way you wouldn’t if she was a man.

Assuming your female partner will do the chatting when you have guests round while you hide in the kitchen ‘cooking’, particularly when it’s your own family you’re avoiding because ‘women love to chat, even to their mother in law’

Being mildly amused when women talk about football or some other ‘male topic’ and talking to them like you would somebody with dementia, ‘aww yeah, I agree, yeah’ rather than actually engaging them in conversation. Other topics include exercise (even if you haven’t moved from the sofa in 3 years), cars and (unless serving military personnel) war.

Mildly sulking or expressing surprise when a woman fixes the appliance you’ve been mucking about with for days in approximately 5 minutes, and insisting she must’ve ‘just got lucky there’

Assuming women don’t drink beer and just handing cans over her head to the nearest male stood behind her without even asking if she would like one.

I could go onnnnnnnn but you get the idea.

I don't know about hate but recently I have definately thought that most men do not respect women, they are objectified, sexualised, treated unequal like servants to meet their needs, according to men we automatically cannot drive etc it's sad as without us men would not be here, I feel like saying get back in your womb. Most men will cheat if they can get away with it I think too. They just don't respect women, I think they almost laugh at us and I don't know why. I am recently split from dh and I have a son who is lovely, I am not a man hater but I do believe the above so I want to stay single.

I love men (mostly) however I don't particularly like men who post on Mumsnet. Why can't they find their own website.

It isn’t all men though! That’s fucking ridiculous with the number of people we have on the planet. To say ‘all men have women’ is just crazy, IMO.
I have three sons, am I just going to accept they will grow up to hate women? Obviously not.
Fyi ‘my Nigel’ is very supportive, we both work full time, we both pull our weight with the children.

Some men (and some women) are violent and hateful. I don’t think it’s necessary to class all men as being the same, if we are writing them all off then surely that leads to more hate?

I agree op. The older I get, the more I see it.

I'd be astonished if a man turned up on Mumsnet and admitted it. Plus, I think a lot of it is unconscious.
it's a much better test to look at what people do rather than what they say.
And that's why women are the best judges, as we are informed by experiences.

So basically NAMALT 🙄

My husband, brother, uncles, nephews, don't hate women.

But on the whole, men as a class do actually hate women. If not, what aren't we equally respected, not beaten, raped and murdered, married off, fgm performed, due to us being women?

Who expects you do 99% of the housework?
No one expects me to do it, not in my childhood, not in any relationship I've ever had and not in my current relationship either.

Who expects you to look pretty?
Look however you want to look.

No, I don't think men hate women, I'm sure some do but not the majority.

There's a lot of women hating men on MNs tbf. It appears to be disproportionate to my real life experience.

As expected, posters have come along to say how lovely their husbands or sons or dads are. My son is lovely too. That doesn 't mean I don't recognise he is far more likely to commit a violent crime than my daughter. We are talking about men as a class, not individuals.

This.

Totally agree. But apparently we're not allowed to point out that not all men are like that. Even though it's true.

Haha this is ridiculous.
Most of these responses suggest that women hate man and not the other way around!

Not all men are like that. But you would be fooling yourself if you think female violence acrosss the globe is as big a problem as male violence.

But it’s not all men! Absolutely stupid thing to say or think - and yes I’m a woman. And yes, I’m allowed an opinion without being belittled or eye rolled.

PPs with these ideologies just completely put me off mumsnet. It becomes a toxic cycle - you are trying to silence people with your eye rolling and sarcastic responses. You are trying to silence women. Hypocrisy in action I’m afraid.

I do feel this is a little bit like saying all white people hate black people.
We might find it impossible to truly understand the other persons life experiences and struggles. I can’t ever really get what it’s like to be a black person in a white majority country. It doesn’t mean I hate them or hold them in contempt.

I don’t want to run around this thread liking every comment, but YES!! You are all articulating it very well. There is a contempt, and an entitlement that’s slipping away as women stand up for themselves more and more.

*So basically NAMALT 🙄

My husband, brother, uncles, nephews, don't hate women.

But on the whole, men as a class do actually hate women. If not, what aren't we equally respected, not beaten, raped and murdered, married off, fgm performed, due to us being women?*

Absolutely this.

You are absolutely right. Posting on an anon form is the same as rape, murder assault and porn culture. Therefore women hate men.

But it's misleading to say some men (and some women) are violent because it gives a sense that they are comparable in number. They are not. They are hugely different.

There is a reason 96% of defendants at court in dv/sa cases are male. Its disingenuous to not acknowledge that men are the perpetrators and women and children are the victims.

It's hard not to be angry about the murder of a woman such as Sarah Everard.

But a woman being killed by a stranger is still a very unlikely event - it's about the same odds as winning the lottery (yes, it's really that unlikely). [Men are about 6 times more likely to be killed by a stranger, by the way.]

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim.

That's true. But the chance of a woman being killed by an acquaintance/family member is, again, very, very small.

People overestimate the chance of being murdered because there's a lot of it in the news. The reason such cases make the news is because they're so rare.

It's a bit of a stretch to then extrapolate those very rare events to: 'men just hate women'

I know what you mean. I don’t think what I wrote applies to all men, that’s why I said so in the last paragraph. Certainly not all men in my life are like this.
I was speaking in general terms about men as a group.

I have moments where I think all women are over emotional and casnnot get out of bed without turning everything into a big drama then excuse it by hormones and play 'I am just a mere little women who does not have an original thought it my head and need men to do all thinking for me and then I blame society for my lack of critical thinking' and picking a man, living with him and have children with him but then complain about it constantly but do nothing about it accept use the 'men expect...' card so i just play along

but I the engage my own female brain and realise not all women are like that

I don’t think we should be speaking in general about anyone as a group. But I’m bowing out, no doubt to a number of quotes and eye rolls from women who have daughters.