AIBU - violin teacher dumped us on the first lesson

[DesperateSusans]

We are new to the area. My daughter (age 7) desperately wants to learn the violin. We asked at her new school and they gave us the information about the local violin teacher who teaches in the local schools and privately.

we contacted the teacher and arranged the lesson. Everything went really well, DD loved it and the teacher was great with us.

I have since received a text message from the teacher which I am confused about.

something along the lines of - great to meet you earlier, on reflection I think a different teacher may be more suited to working with DD. I immediately asked her what she meant. She then went on to say that she felt uncomfortable about the amount of questions I asked with regards to her qualifications, experience and teaching methods and made her feel uncomfortable! Apparently all of this is on her website (I hadn’t looked) and she felt like I was interviewing her!

surely this can’t be right? Isn’t it normal for parents to ask questions when they engage the services of a private tutor?

Yay so glad to hear that. That was no coincidence!

Yes but maybe you came across as being a bit too inquisitive. Her decision to drop you. Just find another teacher....

TBH, speaking as a private tutor myself, one of the many perks of the job is that you can pick and choose your clients.
If you don't feel like you're going to gel with a client, then don't proceed with them.
I always think that parents wouldn't think twice about dropping a tutor as soon as it didn't suit them any more... It works both ways.

It sounds like you were perhaps a bit intense. This is a 7yo's first ever violin lesson... It's not that serious.

I hadn't heard of it but it sounds appropriate!!

No of course we don't....

Boots you say?

My son has done guitar lessons through schools for 5 years, two different teachers. I haven’t once asked these teachers any of these questions, in fact I haven’t even met them! If I desperately wanted to know the answers, which I don’t because I doubt the school would recommend/bring them in if they weren’t qualified (what a weird thing to ask 🙈 and their experience) I would search for a website and view those things that way.
i am very experienced and qualified in my field, also deal with parents and also get put out when parents interrogate me. I think it’s unnecessary and I sincerely doubt you interrogate every single teacher/person of authority that your child comes into contact with. I also have turned people away for similar, but I haven’t been so honest because I’m scared to be 😂 I wish I was as brave as this violin teacher.

She obviously doesn’t want the hassle of you. Best find another teacher.

You've missed the bit where the whole of Boots stood up and clapped...

I’m glad this worked out for your daughter, but definitely try and learn for this. If the information you want is relevant (I don’t really think it is tbh) then you can probably find it elsewhere.
also, I don’t think it’s entirely normal either for you to be sitting in and watching their music lessons unless you are also learning yourself. This is quite overbearing and imo will affect the quality of learning your daughter receives. It’s unnecessary, wait in the car if you don’t want to leave completely.
i hope the lessons work out for your daughter.

Well, we’ve had the misunderstanding, now we just need the peril, the moment of realisation and then the OP and the violin teacher will live happily ever after.

This sounds a bit like a violin teacher I had a run in with! She isn’t in a called called FC is she? If so message me for lots of tea!

also, I don’t think it’s entirely normal either for you to be sitting in and watching their music lessons unless you are also learning yourself. This is quite overbearing and imo will affect the quality of learning your daughter receives. It’s unnecessary, wait in the car if you don’t want to leave completely.
i hope the lessons work out for your daughter.

Not true. It’s entirely normal for that age group.

I haven't read the full thread, but 29 pages is too much. Please ignore if this is irrelevant.

It may be that the teacher believes that a parent who asks a lot about qualifications and such wants someone to really push their child to achieve quickly. This teacher could be of the mind that children are only learning an instrument for fun, and that she doesn't want to be a part of a stressful atmosphere.

You've done nothing wrong. I'm a childminder and I expect parents to ask about my qualifications. You're trusting your most precious possession to another adult who you don't know. If she doesn't want you asking about her qualifications,/DBs etc you should be asking 'why?'

Only got yourself to blame you must have gone over the top and annoyed her.

@DesperateSusans

Thank you for the nice update - good luck with the violin

RTFT

Do you have a website with this info available?

Lovely outcome, well done !