Why don't parents feed children what they eat?

[Gruffallowhydidntyouknow]

Twice this week I have had conversations with people that make me wonder why in the UK we are obsessed with children's food and feeing children bland foods.

One friend told me that they were furious at their mother in law, as they had been for Sunday lunch at the weekend and had had to go to Tesco to get food in for their children (5,7, 10) because it was ridiculous that they were being offered the roast beef dinner.

Another friend was bemoaning cooking two different meals as she had to cook something the children would eat and something separate for her and her wife. She laughed and said she couldn't wait until they were old enough to eat curry (8 year old twins).

I despair at the sight of pub menus as it's always beige and chips for the children or a token tomato pasta unless you are in a really nice place. Is that really how people feed children?

I have literally never made separate foods with the exception of not giving my children steak pre teeth.

I'm genuinely intrigued what makes people feed their children separately. Is it that people really believe that children won't eat normal foods? Do people think you "shouldn't" give children spicey foods, or Game/ an olive / duck / stir fry?

Is it that they were weaned on plain things and are now fussy?

I'm not talking about the tiny portion of additional needs selective eaters.

I certainly can’t be bothered making two dinners!

I think people get really bothered if their children don’t eat, which I totally get, but you can always put a safe food on a plate.

Its cultural in a way I think.

Parent to a 3.5year old here and currently very selective diet. We started out fine, and nursery offer a broad lunch option but all she will eat is chicken and rice at home. Plain, no sauce. I try, I vary on the theme but often goes to waste. Not a foody at all, rather play than eat. Great as that is the opposite of me lol I hope she will grow out of it but as time goes on have a horrible feeling she won’t for a long while. Luckily not bad with fruit and yogurt so snacks are healthy to a degree, just meals are tough. I won’t offer an alternative however, not getting into that!

Congratulations on your superior parenting.

I Suppose the answer is that their children enjoy the bland food more and that they wouldn’t eat or don’t enjoy ‘family food’

my children aren’t particularly fussy but that’s not to say that if we’re all eating the same foods that we don’t make adjustments when we’re meal planning. Typically on a Saturday they get nuggets or pizza and we have something a bit later on that we prefer.

You have to fuel your children and sometimes the battles aren’t worth being fought because sometimes they will go to bed hungry.

I do give my children what I eat. Always have, we all eat dinner together so why would I cook them something different? I don’t do ‘kids’ food either

My 10 year old will give anything a try and eats what we do. My 6 year old would live on cheesy pasta with peas if I let her and will barely try anything new. They’ve both been raised the same with the same foods.

I end up making something plain or a sandwich for dd2 if she won’t eat what I’m making for everyone else and I always ask if she wants to try what we’re having. I’m hoping she will grow out of it soon like her sister did.

She does eat lots of things we do like a roast dinner but minus some of the vegetables and roast potatoes and she’s not a big fan of chips or other potato based products but she loves curry rice and naan bread, if I make a chicken and chorizo tray bake she’ll eat the chicken, chorizo and crusty bread but leave the vegetables, she’ll eat chilli and spag bol so she’s not terrible but she could be better.

I was always fed the same as my parents. The only difference was I wouldn't eat spicy foods so they'd take a portion out for me first.

Ours ate everything as toddlers but by 4 started getting really picky. I do a mix - some meals we all eat, some with a slight variant for the kids but most of it the same, and occasionally separate things.
if they really don’t want to eat something I’ve cooked then they can have weetabix or toast (boring but filling). Given that choice they’ll often end up agreeing on having the original meal.

Don't think I know anyone who does this. Everyone I know does family dinners, so your conclusion this is a national thing seems off to me.

I have twins, weaned identically, now 6yrs old. One is extremely fussy the other will eat anything. It’s often simply in their nature.

Refrain from being so judgemental and concerning yourself with things that don’t concern you.

For me it's the high salt content in what we have. Lots of soy sauce etc

Plonking a bit of cucumber on the side of a lasagne is not really going to sustain my 6 year old sadly.

I've got two, one is fussy. Other one will eat pretty much anything (as long as his sister doesn't say she doesn't like it first).
They've both been raised on the same food as me and their dad. Both eschew spicy food despite being offered it/tried it since a young age. Is what it is and I'd rather know that they have eaten!

My son eats an earlier evening meal than us so i do usually end up cooking for him separately in the week. However, my son will eat anything I give him and would pick a veg stir fry over chips and Nuggets say. Granted there are evenings he may have a little pizza for tea.
I am a fussy eater, and although I've got better there is alit of food/meals I will not eat. I was determined not to instill that in to him.

Mine have always just eaten what we had and when out i asked for a 1/2 portion of an adult meal.

Its insane eating beige food whether adult or child

I make two dinners. I know I shouldn't but they've been through a fussy time and we've established bad habits.

I'd love if my kids old eat our meals but I know they wouldn't. Initially at least.

Truthfully I'd love to do something about it but don't really know where to start!

I’ve never understood why children’s menus are so beige. Mine love Wagamamas and are so happy to be old enough to order of the adult menu (but it’s expensive and means waste because they’re at that in between stage where child meal are too small).

we eat lots of stir fry meals (quick and easy to chuck together), curry, paella, casserole, pasta. All means I deem “normal”.

If I can't adapt spicy meals for my youngest then I feed them something different. My youngest ones will only eat mildly spicy foods.

We weaned our almost 3 year old on what we ate and she absolutely lapped it all up. Til 18 months when there was a sharp decline in variation to the point the only 'meal' she will now eat is plain pasta.

It's actually a massive bug bear of mine when people who don't have fussy eaters refuse to accept that children are just all different and they got really fucking lucky if their kids will eat a range of foods

My kids ate what we ate from the time they started solids.

my middle son used to moan and carry on every evening, because he didn’t like the dinner. Every bloody night. It was honestly exhausting but I never cooked separate meals. Then one day I cooked spaghetti bolognese with mushrooms and he said ‘oh yay mushrooms, I love mushrooms’. Like a switch had been flicked. Now he is 13 he will eat / try anything and become abit of a foodie. Eats more stuff than me.

I have always given my kids curries ect too, but mild as I like mild. Oldest ds at about 13 started saying he wanted spicy things. We would go shopping and he would ask for salami and then say to get the spicy one. The other day he asked me to buy hot sauce to put on his dinner.

i always let them get nuggets and chips when we ate out though. I miss those days now, when Mr13 announces he will have the rib fillet, medium, with vegetables and mushroom sauce 😂.

I am not British by birth and have always fed my kids what we ate. Including spicy food. It isn't superior parenting. if anything, it;s because I am too lazy to make separate meals.

I’ve got 4 so buggered if I was cooking serval different meals. I’ve one who doesn’t eat gravy so won’t eat mince. If I do meatballs one doesn’t have the sauce or will just have spaghetti and cheese. But otherwise we all eat the same foods. Occasionally we will eat later than the kids and have something different but usually if they are having pizza/burger night on a Fri as I don’t eat either or chicken nuggets.

My son barely eats and it's affected his growth, so yes, I do make him meals that I think he will eat, and I'm just glad if eats food.

Our 9 month old eats what we eats and I actually find weaning really fun!

We adapt some of our fave meals so for example we will not add honey as she's under one or hot chilli powder etc, we've switched to mild chilli powder etc. We also add hidden veg into chilli's, bolognese etc like grated carrot and courgette.

She loves bolognese, chilli con carne, salmon, homemade curry, lasagne, casserole, sausages and mash etc. she loves broccoli, carrots, parsnips, all fruits that we have like kiwis, bananas, cherries, oranges etc. it's lovely watching her dig in.

We have a 1.5 year old and he's been a great eater so far (long may it continue) so we generally do feed him what we're having unless we're having something unhealthy like a takeaway curry etc. The other time we wouldn't give him the same is sometimes on week nights if we're not organised enough and he's exhausted we would give him something pre made so he doesn't need to wait for us to finish cooking to get to bed. We always give him little bits off our plates so he can try what we're having and he generally eats better when we're having the same too. I think it must be very difficult if you have a child with food sensitivities or allergies both of which are much more common place now. I think there's a difficult balance for parents between wanting to be strict and encouraging them to eat what everyone is eating, and not wanting mealtimes to become tense which is not conducive to children eating well anyways. So I can see how it would be so easy to fall into making 'safe' options you know your child will eat.

I don't make separate meals, but don't force my DC to eat things they don't like, the same way I wouldn't expect an adult to eat things they don't like.

E.g. if I'd made a roast, one DC doesn't like vegetables, so I'll give them more chicken and potatoes. The other DC is not keen on chicken so I give them more potatoes and vegetables.

Each DC always has at least a couple of things they can eat at every meal.