Why don't parents feed children what they eat?

[Gruffallowhydidntyouknow]

Twice this week I have had conversations with people that make me wonder why in the UK we are obsessed with children's food and feeing children bland foods.

One friend told me that they were furious at their mother in law, as they had been for Sunday lunch at the weekend and had had to go to Tesco to get food in for their children (5,7, 10) because it was ridiculous that they were being offered the roast beef dinner.

Another friend was bemoaning cooking two different meals as she had to cook something the children would eat and something separate for her and her wife. She laughed and said she couldn't wait until they were old enough to eat curry (8 year old twins).

I despair at the sight of pub menus as it's always beige and chips for the children or a token tomato pasta unless you are in a really nice place. Is that really how people feed children?

I have literally never made separate foods with the exception of not giving my children steak pre teeth.

I'm genuinely intrigued what makes people feed their children separately. Is it that people really believe that children won't eat normal foods? Do people think you "shouldn't" give children spicey foods, or Game/ an olive / duck / stir fry?

Is it that they were weaned on plain things and are now fussy?

I'm not talking about the tiny portion of additional needs selective eaters.

Well done on your magnificence OP. You get the best parent award. Truly you are just perfect.

Theres actually no point in answering your questions because it's clear from your op that you are not actually interested. Just here to display your splendour.

Because we all like really different things. We cook different things for the adults too because there are so few meals that we share an enjoyment of.

I've never made separate meals. I don't enforce clean plates though, so they can leave anything they don't want. They will usually eat everything, and we eat a really wide variety of food. A healthy diet and good eating habits are really important, parents need to lead by example imo. Plus who has the time to cook 2 meals?

This is the main reason I cook two meals. My dc are ravenous and need to eat at 5/5:30, and at that time I’ve not been home for long and not ready to eat and dh is still working. Sometimes I’ll put something in the slow cooker so I only need to cook once but we don’t want slow cooker meals every day.

I think there's not enough health advice around just how much their appetite can drop from age 2-3 until they are 5-6. Mine were pickier because they could fill up on the "easiest" bits if every meal (beige carb) and weren't hungry enough to try the rest.

Recalibrating portion sizes and serving starches last, after everything else, helps massively

Eating mice is a bit out there, tbh.

I know a few friends that are like that.
Mines 7, her favourite foods are chilli salmon with couscous, sweet and sour chicken, crispy duck or venison steak.
She'd have LOVED a roast beef dinner 😄
She's eaten our meals since about 1 year old and nursery were fantastic with the variety of meals they served.
Some children though do just go off things.

DD has had the same as one of us since she started weaning. I think she had pheasant terrine at about 8 months. I don’t eat meat, her dad does. She likes strong flavours. She’s never been a chicken nuggets, beans and chips kid. She has some issues with texture so won’t eat mash or gravy or custard but otherwise she’s not hard to feed. Across the week she has a mix of Italian, Spanish, Japanese and other cuisines. Lots of veg, some fruit, good proteins. Not bad for a 13 year old.

Yes same with not forcing clean plates. Also if they really don’t like anything, (e.g. tried it and are sure sure they don’t like it) then they can always have toast or fruit or yogurt. There’s no pressure at our table and they know they’ll never be forced to eat. Very rarely happens now though, normally they’ll try the food and realize they do like it!

My dd has always been underweight and not cared about food. If I didn't offer her something she'd eat, she wouldn't eat. She doesn't care but I do and I don't consider it bother to make sure she's fed. I quite like cooking, my husband eats meat and I don't so I make 3 meals every night and I'm not going to make a fuss about it. It is what it is.

I guess if families are feed their kids separate food then it's working out fine in the end...I don't know of many families whose adult children get fed a different meal so at some point they must get back on the same page?!

I wouldn't worry about it personally - I feed my kids (8 and 10) what we eat, IF we're eating at the same time as them. We don't always do that, so sometimes they have different food. One will eat anything, one is a bit pickier but still a great eater, and that's 100% what's called the luck of the draw, IMHO...

I did BLW so didn't give purees or jarred food, and broadly offered the same.sfuff we ate, but with a lot less salt and sugar. Of course here are recommendations around thing like honey, and I think other stuff you shouldn't give to babies, so it's not insane to suggest that people are selective when feeding infants.

Yes I'd prefer restaurants to offer better/more varied kids' menus, but I can choose the ones that have larger kids portions, more veggie choices, and more interesting food.

I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes it's just a good day to mind your own business 🙂

I'll bite (excuse the pun)
Your post reeks of superiority and judgement. And doesn't ring true. For example:

One friend told me that they were furious at their mother in law, as they had been for Sunday lunch at the weekend and had had to go to Tesco to get food in for their children (5,7, 10) because it was ridiculous that they were being offered the roast beef dinner

If your friend went to the trouble of getting food at Tesco when home cooked food was available and on offer I doubt it was for fun. I also doubt she thought the idea of kids eating Sunday lunch was "ridiculous" or that she was "furious" about it. As that doesn't make sense. Far more likely that she has children who are fussy eaters and knew they wouldn't eat the roast, and if she knew that, no doubt MIL did too but MIL probably shares your views.

I have eight kids, I've got two that eat anything, the others vary between vegan, veggie, too crunchy, too lumpy, too mushy, too spicy, too salty, smells funny, don't like the sound, don't like the look, makes my teeth hurt. The number of times I've heard "oh you can't be x's brother, he loves his food" etc

Bland beige kids food exists because there is a market for it. But it's a bit of a stretch to say the U.K. is "obsessed" with children's food and giving kids bland food

Each to their own, some DC just won’t eat the same as the parents. I’ve been lucky with my DC, they eat every meal that we have but they wouldn’t turn their nose up at a McDonalds chicken nugget either.

I think there's an element of luck to whether kids will eat the same as their parents.

I and my brother were both offered a wide variety of foods as children. My brother was (and still is at 42) very fussy. Couldn't stand most vegetables, doesn't like most seafood, can't cope with gravy on a roast dinner etc. I on the other hand eat pretty much anything and always have.

We are very lucky that our 10 year old son eats anything and everything, so we just all have one meal. We haven't done anything special, it's just the way it's turned out.

I've tried really hard to keep meals low pressure. And no suggestion that veg is yucky, or grown up vs kids food. And don't stop offering things they go off, they usually come back around!

Got a bloody 4 year old who loves salmon and when eating out, picks it from the adult menu and won’t entertain the child’s menu!!

The Disneyland Paris for Brits FB page is full of parents complaining that the sit down restaurants at Disney don’t do “proper kids food” and “it’s all too fancy”. When you point out that French kids eat that it’s “ridiculous”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My 2 will generally eat quite well, but I don't push them too far with food as one has ASD and the other is awaiting diagnosis and both have picky or fussy moments. One day the eldest will love fajitas for example but the next time hates them 🤷🏻‍♀️ so often I'll just do something I know is 100% safe rather than run the risk and waste food, as I can't afford to, my weekly meals are planned to a tight budget. Also they are quite young and generally ravenous after school, so I prefer to get them fed early and I don't always want to eat with them at 4.30-5ish. So I'll do myself something later. Most people I know who have kids without any issues will eat together and all eat the same meals, so in my circle what you're describing isn't that common.

I Suppose the answer is that their children enjoy the bland food more and that they wouldn’t eat or don’t enjoy ‘family food’

How much blander can you get than a Sunday roast?

I don't know when this started as we always ate the same as my parents. Other countries don't have special food for children.

Mine love curry and a roast. I do sometimes cook different things for them because I don't like fish and they do. Mostly we all eat the same food. They did go through a fussy stage (both) when they were 5. They tend to eat off the adult menu now so a lot more choice (aged 11 and 13) the children's menu doesn't have many options.

I think all children are different and taste buds develop differently. Just like adults they all don't like every flavour. I think it's good to try and have always encouraged them to do that. If they don't like it that's ok but it's good to give it a go.

I wouldn't want to eat things I didn't enjoy (fish, yuck!) I have tried fish and seafood.

I definitely agree when it comes to comments like "when they're old enough to eat curry" because that suggests they don't think they can eat curry, rather than having tried it and the children not liking it.

I also think your friend moaning about children being served a roast dinner is ridiculous. Roasts have multiple components, you'd think there'd be somethings they eat even if it's some plain meat and potato without any veg or gravy or anything.

But I think a lot of people feed separate meals because they just want to make sure their child eats something. They don't have children thinking "I'm aiming for a situation where I have to cook two meals a night".

Salt! I love it.

cook separate food for my 4 yo and 1 yo as they shouldn’t have salt.

simples.

It’s developmentally normal for children to become fussy around 18-24 months and then slowly grow out of it. Some, obviously, slower than others.

pubs etc do “beige” food because it’s very cheap, easy to cook, can be stored in the freezer and discourages adults from “oh, I’ll just have the small one” which hits incredibly narrow margins. Most kids aren’t that interested and lots of parents just want a relaxed time, not to necessarily introduce new foods. Eating out with kids is expensive and cheap kids meals, especially if they include a drink, helps keep cheap, basic eateries afloat as it encourages larger groups to dine there. Nobody, and I mean nobody, who is menu planning for a chain pub has any interest in expanding the palate of unknown children.

That said, I don’t know a single family who routinely cook 2 meals a night. I know people who give their dc easy food when the adults are going out, or if the adults want to have a secret takeaway when the kids are in bed, or if the kids need to eat very early due to sports etc, but not routinely due to a notion of “kids food”.

I'm too lazy to cook kids meals so they really only had what we had. As a result kids food is not in their food repertoire and now as teens when it makes an appearance they generally moan. They still have food likes and dislikes. They often cook when they don’t like what’s on offer.