His holiday

[toomanyjellyfish]

Help me get some perspective. dP (together 8 months). We have decided to move in together after we've been together a year and the goal is to next year buy a house. I have 75k for a deposit which will help us secure a place. We had a plan to greet a shared bank account, save and basically start to share finances.

This weekend he says his friend who is newly single has messaged to say he wants to go to America to watch a big sports game. DP says he's really keen but I'm miffed for two reasons. 1) we are supposed to save towards our house deposit/ fees. He says he won't go if he thinks it's too expensive and
2) he gets very little holiday entitlement and since all his days were peebooked this year for family events I had hoped that he'd want to spend some time with me.

Am I being selfish? I need perspective.

My first thought is no to any joint bank accounts and not a chance I’d be buying anything with anyone tbh
unless it was completely equal
keep yourself financially safe and separate

“You have 75 k “ but you won’t have a bean
if you end up tied to someone who isn’t putting your joint plans first
but he doesn’t need to does he because you have the cash ..

please wake up
sorry op
but been there and it’s not pretty

Me and my now hubby of 23 years bought our first house together after been together 9 months. (We did know each other from school and were school sweethearts) broke up at 16 and dated from age 21 till present. Good luck 😉

Sorry 8 month typo lol

Don't put your 75k in a joint account ever as the temptation will be too great for him. If you move in you send deposit direct to solicitor and have a declaration of trust and a deed (can't remember the name) but if you split you get back everything you put in. Good luck OP hope it works out for you :)

Buying a house together after 12 months without living together for a while first is a recipe for disaster. Especially where one part of the couple has considerable more savings than the other. Trust me, I know, and it did end badly. Even if he saves all the salary, he’s not going to have anywhere near the amount you do, and he clearly wants to enjoy his life still. Revisit it in 12 months. People on here speak from experience, not just some book of mumsnet rules.