To join DH during his weekly father/son bonding time?

[SlightlyOCDMum]

As a word of context I love spending time with my family, going to coffee places etc. My husband usually takes our son to football on Saturday morning and after that takes him for a coffee together. He says this is "his bonding time" with him, that he only has these 30 mins per week to connect with him, and feels protective/would rather I do not join, whereas I see this as an opportunity to spend family time together. Lately I no longer ask DH and just join them directly at the coffee place. AIBU for wanting to spend time together and joining them? Or should I leave my husband having this bonding time without me?

I suspect you’re right.

You’ve also got the best username ever!

I would absolutely leave the coffee date as one on one time and plan other time even if
It's an afternoon playground trip as family time. If you feel rejected or neglected by your DP you can address it in other ways x

Ps please use that time for me time or massages or spas or something nice form sit at home on social media or feeling lonely

Sounds like this is what’s happening !🫤

It’s 30 minutes, I’d let them have that time together

I think it’s really important that you let them have this time.

My husband used to take ours for breakfast every Saturday morning. He did it so I could have a lie-in in peace, but it became an important and treasured thing. Our kids are 25 and 21 now, and they still talk about this lovely ritual they had. You don’t need to do everything together.

If you asked for the same would he show up?

I think his request is fine. Nice actually. It’s not all day right?

My husband takes our son to football on a Saturday and I love it! My only chance all week to have a lie in, cup of tea and read a book! ‘You time’ can be therapeutic x

You are literally enabling the patriarchy.

You have some serious issues. Would you like to start a thread and talk about it?

Aww I get it, they're having a nice time and you want to be a part of that but unfortunately yes I do think YABU. I think you need to leave them to it especially when you've been asked to, and find something you enjoy doing with DS. Hope you find something nice!

Are you normally so controlling OP?

@BronwenTheBrave are you ok? Because those comments are totally wrong!

At you saying Dc can't spend time alone with their fathers?

Really?

Nasty. Do you expect everything to be about you ? Do you always ride roughshod over other peoples wants and needs ?

Deflection.
So many red flags. Do you have a problem with Mumsnet?

@BronwenTheBrave 🤔!

Cleary you have no idea what those words mean.

@BronwenTheBrave No, just genuine concern. You seem to think that a father spending quality one on one time with their child is somehow dangerous.

It's perfectly normal and healthy for both parents to give children this time, it helps form bonds and all attention is focused on the child.
For someone to think like that, something terrible must have happened in their past. Possibly abuse or neglect. You seem to hate men and feel the need to insult anyone who doesn't share your view. There are many useful boards on mumsnet where you can work through your issues

This is very clearly a reverse. The argument for the other side is actually made in the OP.

YABVU. Crazy that you even has to ask!

Why don’t you compromise and ask him if he’d mind if you joined them once a month, instead of every week?

This.

are you normally this controlling and do you usually ignore your husbands requests?

Such odd behaviour

How?

A father taking care of his child is a GOOD thing - and definitely not a patriarchal role, @BronwenTheBrave.

Can you actually explain your posts on this thread, or should we simply conclude you are talking goady bollocks?

I am really thinking this is just a wind up, but on the odd chance that it's not..
Did you know that children with involved fathers score better on most aspects? They are less likely to end up in prison or display antisocial behaviour, dad's help children especially boys!!to learn to regulate emotions like aggression etc. They have better outcomes on so many aspects!!
Also, do you know there is literally a complex that some mothers develop where they are unable to let theird children especially sons go? They literally smother them..

I can't fathom why you cannot by your own accord think why it's important for a son to spend time with his dad.

As a girl there was sometimes stuff I liked to ask my mom without my dad or brother eavesdropping.
Can you not think that teenage sons might want to chat to their dad about pubic hair, girls, hormones whatever?

Also it sounds as if you only have 1 child which makes it easier to smother them. Don't be that woman

Oh my, why would you keep turning up to a social meeting you've not been invited to, it's awful no matter who the people are. It's very controlling and inappropriate. No wonder they feel the need to have time away from you, they're not just your family but individual, autonomous people who can make their own decisions 🤷‍♀️

1 on 1 time is important.

but why doesn’t he have more than 30 minutes per week to bond with his son? That doesn’t seem right, tbh!