To join DH during his weekly father/son bonding time?

[SlightlyOCDMum]

As a word of context I love spending time with my family, going to coffee places etc. My husband usually takes our son to football on Saturday morning and after that takes him for a coffee together. He says this is "his bonding time" with him, that he only has these 30 mins per week to connect with him, and feels protective/would rather I do not join, whereas I see this as an opportunity to spend family time together. Lately I no longer ask DH and just join them directly at the coffee place. AIBU for wanting to spend time together and joining them? Or should I leave my husband having this bonding time without me?

Why do you want to?

For all the time is it, let them have it together.

um, do you both work full time? Ie do you get much more time with the dc than he does? If so yabu.
would he grump if you suggested family coffee date? If so YANBU.
other factors to consider too 🤷‍♀️ so I’m on the fence.

Is there an issue with them having time together with out you supervising?
I'd find it highly odd and as if you were trying to block them talking or bonding.

Why would you do this? He's told you he wants 1-1 time and I think that is to be commended. How does he react when you just turn up?

Dh and I made sure that we both had one on one time with each child, it could be something as lovely as a hot chocolate out at a coffee shop or as mundane as doing a tip run with them chatting in the car. Do you get 1 on 1 with your son?

As you have said your Dh gets 30 minutes alone time with his son surely all other time is family time?

I can't understand why you are ignoring his wishes. Unless you have no other family time together, or unless you have serious concerns about his parenting, leave them in peace and enjoy some time out.

Controlling

YABVVVVVVU he asked - you ignored - and you try to dismiss this with "i love spending time with my family" no you don't, i cant decide if you're:
jealous
controlling
central character syndrome
fomo

either way - you're being ridiculous, let your child and their parent have some time together

Are they not allowed one thing that’s there’s ? Give them 30 min respite from you

Massively unreasonable OP

Very controlling of you OP.

leave them alone and stop attention seeking.

Fucking hell this is controlling! Why would you do that?

TBH your posts all tell very different stories, some in direct contradiction to others.

It's hard to know which are the real issues!

Yes, yabu. Obviously.

Reverse.

OK OK I await the knuckle rapping for looking at other threads, but ops are
'I hate my son' and
'Dh never let's me have time alone'?
Thought this coffee time would be welcomed?

Curiouser and Curiouser

It sounds strange that you can't give them 30 minutes. Surely there are other times within the week when you can all be together

Why on earth wouldn't you want half an hour to yourself?

This is so unreasonable I can't believe you're asking? Unless it's a massive reverse? They've communicated to you that they'd like to spend time alone to decompress from their activity and you just ignore it?

In any case either party can miss that 30 minutes and schedule in their own 30 minutes elsewhere in the week. And also add an hour or so for genuine family time if needed. Let them have their 30 minute treat!

aw Op let him have his time with his son.

I think you are being really selfish. Why does your love of family time take precedence over your husbands wish to spend 1:1 time with your son? He presumably loves that just as much. I’m sorry but you need to find other ways to entertain yourself that don’t rely on your husband and son

Yabu. I think it’s lovely he wants to have some time with him. Presumably you get time with them both over the weekend/evening? I suspect if you keep muscling in, the coffees will stop which would be a shame for them. He’s told you not to go and you aren’t listening. Maybe you’ll listen to the unanimous yabu replies.
I hope this isn’t a reverse because they really irritate.

I think it’s fine to have 1:1 time but ‘he only has 30 minutes a week to connect with him’. What’s he doing the other 167.5 hours of the week?