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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

439 replies

HooversBrokenAgain · 24/03/2008 21:08

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

OP posts:
nkf · 24/03/2008 21:25

Was your husband there?

peanutbear · 24/03/2008 21:25

that makes it 10000000 x worse in my opinion and no I dont think the police would laugh at you

kid · 24/03/2008 21:25

she actually pierced your baby's ears herself? Without the gun instrument they use to pierce ears?

I would be on the phone to her right now to let her know exactly what I thought of her

theUrbanDryegg · 24/03/2008 21:26

she did it herself??

phone social services/police. make sure she never gets let near a child again.

Bluestocking · 24/03/2008 21:26

YOUR MIL DID IT HERSELF???
Sorry to shout but I think ripping her head off would be the least she deserves. Yes, I would tell the police, this is an assault. I am so, so sorry that this has happened.

Freckle · 24/03/2008 21:26

What the bloody hell was your dh doing whilst your mil was mutilating your child? Seriously, he cannot have been unaware of what was happening and yet he allowed his mother to seriously hurt your baby. Unbelievable.

WiiMii · 24/03/2008 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kindereggsurpise · 24/03/2008 21:26

I take back my previous posting. She should never see your DD again. Not even supervised.

pooka · 24/03/2008 21:26

Where was your husband when this was going on? If he didn't consent I would be tempted to report her. If he did consent.... well he is an twat.

scottishmummy · 24/03/2008 21:26

NO surgical spirit - too harsh it will hurt!freshly boiled cooled water.Immediate GP appt

Jane68 · 24/03/2008 21:27

Do you need a license to pierce ears. Phone the police and ask for their advice, if not see a solicitor.

Mung · 24/03/2008 21:27

Surely your baby was screaming while she did it. What was your DH doing?

PotPourri · 24/03/2008 21:27

OMG. REally shocked. Take them out adn clean with alcohol (it will sting DD - but infection would be much much worse).

And explain to DH that it is not acceptable. If he cannot stand up to his mother, he should not be taking kids round there. Divorcing him is quite extreme without talking about it. But honestly, it is a question of trust. If, once you explain the severity of the situation, you cannot trust him to abide by your wishes that MIL does not see the children, then the marriage has broken down.

And don;t let your MIL near them again, certainly not without your supervision.

Your DH needs a backbone. If he can't stand up to his mother, he should not be taking the kids round there... He's able to stand up to you by the sounds of it

MadameCh0let · 24/03/2008 21:27

Yes, go to the doctor. This should be on record. I also think it will help you. You need to see a professional to help you feel you are 'fixing' things.

I can't believe she did it herself. It gets worse and worse.

What is the cultural issue?

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyCave · 24/03/2008 21:27

Bloody hell, that makes it a lot worse. I would call the police. That is child abuse.

Original poster
HooversBrokenAgain · 24/03/2008 21:27

Yes she is foreign and her reason for doing it, because this has been her reason to try to persuade me to have it done, is to show how much gold we have.

Don't we have a sick [emoticon]

She will get it from me tomorrow.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 24/03/2008 21:27

Yes - agree going to the docs tomorrow is a blardy good idea.

Ask your GP what they think you should do. Certainly get it logged there first.

Then, go home, and tell your DH you'll give him a prince albert, and, if he doesnt like it, he can "take it out"..........

fryalot · 24/03/2008 21:27

omg it gets worse! she did it her fucking self?

ring the police (not 999) and tell them what has happened and ask them if it is possible to have her charged with assault. If they think you are being daft, they will tell you, but I suspect that they will be as horrified as we all are.

Ring NHS direct 0845 46 47 and ask them if you are better off removing the earrings now, or waiting till you can get to the docs tomorrow. Take their advice.

What does your husband have to say for himself? Where was he? Was he aware of what was going on? Did he hold her while her grandmother did this to her?

Am apoplectic with rage on your behalf.

kid · 24/03/2008 21:27

What did she use to do it? Your husband must have been there to help if she literally forced the earrings in.

suedonim · 24/03/2008 21:27

Omg, that is unbelievable behaviour.

peanutbear · 24/03/2008 21:28

Tell her she should have bought her a fucking bracelet then

spammandchocolateeggs · 24/03/2008 21:28

Why would the police laugh? This is serious - ok, it may "only" be earrings, but I would definitely consider it assult without your consent, in view of the fact that you had specifically said you did not want it done and she knew that.

I would never trust her again. And I agree with a previous poster - tell him to get out and go and sleep at his mother's for a few days!

Mum1369 · 24/03/2008 21:29

OMFG Speechless.Nothing less than assault.

Carmenere · 24/03/2008 21:29

I am shocked and angry on your behalf. what is it with weak men who can't stand up to their mothers? If he knew this was happening he made the choice of her displeasure over yours (not to mind the pain of his child). Let that be the last time within your marriage that he chooses her over you when it comes to your children.

Oh, and I would keep your children away for that mad bitch. She has reneged any right to have anything to do with them.

girlfrommars · 24/03/2008 21:29

She did this herself? My God, I thought she was just an evil bitch, but to force adult earrings through the ear of a 14 month old child by hand? I would actually go to the police. It is assault. When did your husband have his tecticles removed? He sat and let her do this to his daughter?