To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

[HooversBrokenAgain]

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

If you're common, you pierce your child's ears?

That's v. dodgy ground. It suggests that there's something wrong with being working class and, as you put it, 'common' because you do things like pierce your child's ears? That's a revolting and ignorant POV.

However, this episode is horrific.

how did ur dh let this happen? Surely he was there too?
Dump him! lol well make him sweat at least! x

Mama4 - I'm talking about small children.
Why take the risk? It's not like you're denying them something by not getting their ears pierced until they're older.

As far as I can see, your dh stood by while your mil subjected your daughter to a physical assault. There is absolutely no way she would have done anything other than scream the place down whilst that was happening and he didn't even bother to go upstairs and see what was wrong with her?

It's bullshit that he didn't know what she was doing. Absolute bullshit. He wasn't strong enough to stand up to his mother and instead chose to let her assault your daughter, knowing it was against your express wishes.

I'm sorry but I would be taking action to ensure that neither of them had unsupervised access to her, and this marriage would be over. I couldn't stay married to a man who would allow such a betrayal of my wishes or subject my child to such an ordeal. It's your responsibilty to protect her, as he doesn't seem capable of doing so.

And if I knew you IRL, and knew you were doing nothing about protecting that little girl from either him or her, I'd report you myself. End of.

"I'm sorry but I would be taking action to ensure that neither of them had unsupervised access to her, and this marriage would be over."

But the break-up of the marriage will harm the child as well, surely you're not serious?

I've followed this thread but kept quiet until now. There seems to be a lot of hysteria - and other things - about.

I am horrified at what Hoovers' MIL did. I have been appalled to read of MIL's getting dc's haircut but this really takes the biscuit. But to divorce over it? Unless this episode is the final straw in a relationship that is on the skids anyway - which doesn't seem to be the case - that would be OTT, imho.

If it were me (academic as my MIL is long deceased), I would seriously consider seeking the police's advice at least. I would definitely be imposing a ban on MIL being left alone with any of the dc's for some time but would not cut off contact altogether as the dc's still deserve a relationship with her. DH would be torn off a strip (tho' sounds like that has happened already) but, as horrifying as this incident was, it was not, on its own, a divorcing matter.

BTW, Xenia, I never knew anyone still used the term "common" in that sense. I thought we'd come a long way from that.

You need a parents signature to pierce ears - a family friend (aunty) took my dd to have her ears pierced as a b/day present.

They came back to the coffee shop where I was waiting and said I had to sign a form to grant permission before the shop(Claires) would proceed.

So how did your MIL get the ear pierced without permission?

ivykaty44, Hoovers' MIL pierced the child's ears herself. With her own, adult size, earrings.

Oooo I am sorry I thought I had read it - missed that bit yakaktyyak

xenia, most state schools ban it as well. the reason has nothing to do with social class, and everything to do with health and saftey.

That's assault. If she had someone else's kid's ears pierced, without parental consent, she's committed assault - and on a minor, no less, which is a serious crime. You could always drop the charges after scaring the hell out of him.

I'm so angry on your behalf right now - my God, how passive-aggressive can a person be? Way to assert that they are HER property, hey.

Also piercing ears yourself - not professionally - is ALWAYS illegal, isn't it? You can't do that even if you ARE the parent. Nail her.

Just read the whole thread so glad it's sorted, and hope it continues on okay.