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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

439 replies

HooversBrokenAgain · 24/03/2008 21:08

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

OP posts:
theUrbanDryegg · 24/03/2008 21:34

totally agree with nkf - phone NHS Direct and see what they say, but to be honest if i were you i'd wash my hands very carefully (make sure you scrub your nails) and take the rings out and wash the lobes gently with some cool boiled water or saline solution.

also - babies who have their ears pierced have it done with special small studs. adult studs have much thicker posts. i really hope they heal up, but you need to get them out asap!

Lizzylou · 24/03/2008 21:35

Don't ever let your mad MIL near your children again, this is f*cking 2008, FGS.

Your DH has an awful lot of making up to do and I sincerely hope that your little girl is OK. I am wincing at the thought of what she went through, professional earpiercers use earrings with a sharp tip to pierce ears for the first time, your MIL presumably used her own, blunt ones. Sorry, but I'd have to be physically restrained from lamping the old bitch.

Bluestocking · 24/03/2008 21:35

I remember having my ears pierced with a needle - a friend of mine did it when I was 16 (much to my parents' horror). It hurt like fuck even though we'd frozen my earlobes with ice, and it hurt for days afterwards. Tell your husband that he has exposed his innocent daughter to a brutally painful experience.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 24/03/2008 21:35

Please do show him.

scorpio1 · 24/03/2008 21:35

He also failed to support your parental responsibility and beliefs.

cheesesarnie · 24/03/2008 21:36

she did it herself!it gets worse!i hope when your husband reads this hes suitably ashamed with himself.what a twat

llareggub · 24/03/2008 21:36

Have you taken the horrid things out, yet?

maisemor · 24/03/2008 21:36

How about you pierce your husband's ears and put his mother's old earrings in his ears, just to show us all that he has gold. Bet he aint going to agree to that one.

fryalot · 24/03/2008 21:36

Does he have his ears pierced?
Does he have his foreskin pierced?

Does he want us to do it for him?

With a blunt earring?

CarGirl · 24/03/2008 21:36

you know it really really hurts having them done, I still remember 20 years on, your dd must have been howling, have you given her calpol and nurofen? Actually take her to A&E to get them removed asap I'm not sure I'd leave it until the morning.

Unfitmother · 24/03/2008 21:36

I can't believe she did it herself, DH should be ashamed of himself!
If he gave his consent I'm not sure what the police could do. Make sure she sees a GP tomorrow, poor little thing.
Did she think she was doing you a 'favour' or had you emphatically said you did not want this doing?

kid · 24/03/2008 21:37

So she didn't even use an ear piercing instrument? I think her saying your DD cried is a slight understatement. As an adult I would scream the place down

Definitely ring the police station to see what they have to say. Even if they just caution her, she will realise that you are not messing around. Still so shocked that she just thought this would be ok.

WiiMii · 24/03/2008 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peanutbear · 24/03/2008 21:37

I think he ought to think himself lucky he is still married TBH because he wouldnt be if he was mine and by the time I had finished with him he wouldnt be able to afford gold

I would take the baby to A & E too because you never know but please let us know how she is

VeniVidiVickiQV · 24/03/2008 21:37

oh god I've just realised I might 'know' you. Am I barking up the wrong tree? You'll know who I am already by my name (if not, then you can be sure we dont iykwim?)

cba · 24/03/2008 21:38

pierce his balls tonight when he is sleeping. Then when cries out in pain quote "well the baby was supposed to cry now it is your fucking turn"

seriously, would do gbh on him

ShinyDysonHereICome · 24/03/2008 21:38

Reading that she did it herself has made me cry

Your baby will associate that woman forever with the pain she caused her.

I would never let her see your children ever again and would without a doubt call the police and social services- this is assualt.

Under the circumstances I think you are being incredibly reasonable about this- I wouldn't like to think what I might have done in your situation.

As for your DH- can you trust him now that he has let this happen?

terramum · 24/03/2008 21:38

OMG she did it herself . I would take her to the GP tomorrow to get some proper medical advice to prevent infection...and it will serve to get the evidence of the assault on her medical records should you want to persue it further.

I had second thoughts about saying you should prevent her from seeing the baby again earlier...but I would definately just cut her out of your life as much as you can now. I'm assuming your DH isn't good at standing up to her & has had to deal with stuff like this when he was a child...but I really cannot understand why anyone would ust stand there & let someone do that to their own baby? What does he say about all this? Is he sorry? Does he know what his mother did was wrong?

theUrbanDryegg · 24/03/2008 21:38

actually - agree with other posters, take her to A&E now.

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyCave · 24/03/2008 21:38

I actually got bloodpoisoning within hours of hurting myself on a nail (not rusty). I had a line going from my finger up my arm. I could literally see the tracking creep up my arm. It was fast.
I was in hospital for nearly 24 hours with two different types of antibiotics drip. Thereafter 2 different kind of antibiotics for 2 weeks. I was extremely ill.

I would take her to A&E.

scottishmummy · 24/03/2008 21:39

this must be dreadful for you.take dd to gp in morning get it checked out for your piece of mind

kid · 24/03/2008 21:39

Ask you husband to go back to his mums and ask her to pierce his ears. Then he can say for certain if you are over reacting or not

ShinyDysonHereICome · 24/03/2008 21:39

I would second the suggestion of A & E- God only knows what kind of nasty infection could be brewing right now

Unfitmother · 24/03/2008 21:39

Are you able to take them out? If not go to A&E.

Original poster
HooversBrokenAgain · 24/03/2008 21:39

She was on at me at the hospital and wanted to them them then and there.

i have to go now I am too knackered and upset. Will take photos tomorrow and go to GP an dpolice. Will go all the way on this.

OP posts:
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