To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

[HooversBrokenAgain]

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

I hope you are OK today Hoover and hope your DD is ok too. You have my utmost admiration. I would have gone around there and torn her head from her body. How DARE she?

At the very least I would be around there with the earrings in my hand and I would give them back to her and tell her in no uncertain terms that she will never touch my DD again. Ever.

nannynick - yes, I think you are right that ear piercing for children under 13 ought not to be allowed in the UK.

FWIW, my younger stepson has assymetric and oddly shaped ears and his parents (my partner and his ex-wife) wanted them to be corrected surgically when he was a baby. The cosmetic surgeon they consulted said that he would not operate until my stepson was old enough to voice his opinion on the matter and request surgery for himself - which was unlikely to happen before puberty.

Dh is sat here in shock by your H and MIL's actions and would be quite happy to volunteer to pierce his testicles for you if you so wish.

sophiewd
HooversBrokenAgain hope everything went ok at the hospital.

Just seen this thread - un-fecking-believeable!

I would be calling the police straight after the doctor. Hope your DD is OK today hoovers.

If there was no parental consent at all, then I'd say the police should definitely become involved and encouraged to charge under Section 20 - as it is wounding a minor.
Any lawyer mumnetters reading this? Anyone know any relevant case law?

Must be the first time ever I have read a MN thread and fervently hoped it was a troll thread.

Am so for you to have that for a MIL and that for a husband.

As your DH was there, I doubt there is anything that you can do legally, but in your position I would be considering all options, including kicking your DH out for a week so he can decide where his future lies, with you or with his family. If I were to stay with him I would make the decision as clear cut as that. For your MIL I am sure theres a lot of cultural justification from her pointof view, but that doesn't alter the fact that she has decided to override you, knowing your opinions full well. She has raised the stakes, and what you do know will determine how your MIL and how your husband treat you for evermore.

Your daughter will I am sure be fine so long as her ears are not infected and you get her checked over. Heaven knows how you sort out your marital problems going forward. The last thing anyone needs woudl be this to fall into their laps. Good luck.

and ! I am gobsmacked! If Hoover isn't in cells for GBH against MIL it shows remarkable self control! I hope baby Hoover is ok. I smite DH for extreme stupidity and cowardice!

How are you doing this morning Hoovers? Hope things went well at A&E.

I hope all went well in A&E, Hoover.

DP used to be a DC and he said that it was only assault if there was no parental consent and that the mil could claim that there was implied consent from the father (and I can guess who he would back).

Good morning, I don't think I've ever read a thread that had me rushing back the next morning, just to say that I hope your daughter is OK and that you are also feeling a bit less stressed. What a drama. Breath in, breath out.

Ok Smallwhitecat, I'm just saying what he said when I told him about it. He is somewhat familiar with the law after 30 years though.

Kama, why do you feel it's ok to pierce a baby's ears?

I know that various cultures and religions do it and I think someone above mentioned it being a sign of wealth - I don't know if that's true and there are doubtless other reasons that I'm not aware of but would be interested to know.

Most of us here probably hated our children having their injections. My dd is 10 weeks and I know that I had to look away when they got that needle out - not because I have any fear of needles but because I really didn't want her hurt, if only for a split second. My ears hurt like buggery when they were pierced and I was a teenager so I can't imagine what a baby feels when they don't know it's coming or why it's happening. Aren't there other ways of fulfilling those requirements?

This is a genuine question, not meant to be an attack btw!

what's the legal position regarding the people who carried out the peircing?

I got my ears pierced aged 13 without parental consent. My parents threatened to go take the jeweller who did it to the police ( they didn't though).

Disgusted as I am that this has happened, I don't think you would get much joy from prosecuting as implied consent is a very grey area, and I have no doubt that your DH would back his mother up.... I would, however, log it with the police and then apply for a restraining order against your MIL, which I would have thought would be forthcoming (? I have no experience of these things, but surely a judge would back the mother in this??). This will show both your DH & MIL how you feel in no uncertain terms. It will give you a legal footing with your MIL - if you take them out, who is to say she dosn't try it again on the next contact?? It will also set the tone for your future relationship with your MIL and you DH - i.e. that you are in charge and will not tolerate any further contact or potential mutilation of your daughter.

Personally I don't like pierced ears on small children. However, I also accept that people will pierce their kids' ears for many reasons. The difference between a professional piercing with the associated equipment and levels of hygiene and what you MIL did are the difference between personal preference and rank stupidity IMO.

As Squiffy said, how you act now will determine your future relationship with both DH & MIL. I would come down SO hard on both, that it left them reeling. Only then should they be allowed to start re-building their relationship with yourself and your DD and show they understand that what they did was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

I truly hope all went well at the hospoital.

Fair enough but what good would going to the police actually do? As someone said further down the thread, if the inlaws were estranged and hoover was split up with her h (which I would be tbh), it may be a way of warning the old bitch off but presumeably hoover wants to stay with this man so going to the police will severely antagonise the situation.
For me, there would be no way that the woman would see my children again without me being there and certainly not for a long time and unless this crone is in the habit of assaulting other children with her manky earrings, the problem seems to be one of boundaries. That problem would be neatly solved by taking away contact.
The lesson here seems to be the eternal one of be very careful who you procreate with.

Belgo, MIL did it herself, using an old earring.

OMG! AN old earring!

agree with smallwhitecat
This wasn't ear piercing - that is done in sterile conditions by professionals

Can I ram a used skewer through my baby's ear? How about his nose? Only piercing it!