To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

[HooversBrokenAgain]

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

I read as far as the part where you said she did it herself. I feel a bit sick and very angry on your behalf. DON'T let her have unsupervised access EVER again. If she thinks that's OK what else might she do? Definitely antibiotics and if it were me I would lodge a complaint with your doctor or the police so that it is recorded. Keep your baby away from this woman, you have to keep her safe (I know you know that of course)

Can't believe how shocked I am.

LilRed; did Baby Hoover see a medic?

Yes - Baby Hoover has been seen by a doctor and nurse and is going back for a check up on Friday.

Good oh! Hope Hoover and Hoover junior are ok today.

UN - BLOODY - BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope DD is better. Does DH understand the enormity of what she did? Does he understand she's not to get anywhere near DD again?

I agree with catsmother re the long term implications of the H's behavioru.

However I'd caution against going down the splitting up and getting supervised contact route. A court would not necessarily order supervised contact so after a period of months, the child would have unsupervised contact with mad old bat MIL. Sometimes it's better to have people inside pissing out than outside pissing in and if the husband understands that his behaviour is what has led to MIL's outrageous behaviour and determines to change it (IE put his wife and children first not his mother) then there may be no need for a split. She has behaved like this because he has given her permission to; he just has to stop giving her permission.

Hi, I've just read this thread all the way through and so glad to hear that baby Hoover is okay now. If this happened to my dd MIL and OH would be the ones in A&E

On calming down myself I agree with CoteDAzur, this needs to be made official hopefully to prevent MIL mutilating dd again.

Sending loads of cuddles to baby Hoover.

her DH didn't give permission? The MIL did it without asking? DH sat downstairs listening to baby scream without investigating?

I would be straight down the police station and then onto a divorce lawyer.

I am close to tears. I have read 20+ pages to catch up from when I left last night and I can't believe it.

If my MIL did anything like that it would be the end for me.

When I was small you had to be at least 12 to have your ears done. I had mine done at 16 and it bloody hurt then.

Poor poor baby.

I agree with LittleBella. Hoover has stated that she loves her husband very much. Single parenting ain't no picnic - especially if you still love your husband.

She needs to get her husband on her side and stop the contact with MIL.

I'd want to press charges. What a bitch!

No-one, but no-one would inflict pain on my child and get away with it. And I'd pierce my husband's balls, while he was asleep, so he woke in excruciating pain and then I'd ask him how he likes having holes poked in his skin without his permission.

Sorry, but what a fine pair you've got there with the MIL and the NOT dH!

Divorce? Over this? No, no, no.

Hoover's hubby grew up with this woman, probably under her thumb and very much under her control for 18 years and counting.

It is incredibly hard to stand up to someone like that. Whatever she is and whatever she does she is his mother.

Yes - he should have stood up to her. He should have removed the baby and sprinted from the house. Yes he needs to properly apologise and make it up to Hoover.

But I would see his behaviour in the light of his relationship with his mother - what has she done to him over the years? And she genuinely if very misguidedly didn't think she was doing anything wrong to the baby, just potentially pissing off her DIL.

I think if Hoover logs this with the GP and police, photographs her baby's ears, yells at MIL and shows her husband this thread then that is all that is needed.

Breaking up a marriage over one incident of very poor judgement seems to me to be wrong. That's why mariage is hard work.

He really is his mothers son, isnt he?

He knew your opinion and no doubt paid lip service to you ,but when his mother called, round he goes and like the gutless mummys boy he is , blames her, like he had no control.
Who took the child round ,who left mil with child knowing the kind of thing she cN DO, and then creeps back blaming her. He must have tacitly agreed with her to be so remiss.

Sorry, but your dh has shown his true colours. Stay with him if you want, but hes no man and you need to watch your back in the future.

I'm not sure if I've ever logged in just to see a specific thread before. I'm glad your dd is going to be ok, Hoover, and wish you all the best wrt to sorting the matter out with your wider family.

I would agree that this is not a matter for divorce, although it is no small matter.

He has, however, seriously broken your trust and this clearly needs to be addressed properly. You cannot stay married to someone where there is no trust. I hope you can resolve this issue.

The other issue is his loyalty to you taking priority over that of his to his mother.

As I said before, with or without his consent it needs to be logged with the police to have it on record. Possibly a letter to her from a solicitor too?

An once again, she should not see your children .

has she been back on yet?

HBA - YANBU and I am so sorry that this has happened. I just wanted to send you hugs and hugs for your baby. Take some time, breathe deeply and think about how you want to handle this. I'm thinking of you and sending you positive vibes. Take care of yourself.

Aren't you getting a little carried away talking divorce ladies?

Hoover's not been back for a while, so if I may suggest so, better show some restraint and let her call the shots?

The MIL is certainly a wacko, but is it really wise to advocate breaking up the family?

It's all ok and being sorted (in various ways).

The support has been fantastic and widespread. It has helped me enormously.

Dh knows it is wrong and he acted very defensively last night he has been a twat and he is not by any means off the hook.

DD is brilliant. You would not know anything was wrong.

Good news HBA I bet is wondering why you are fussing over her

Glad to hear you and DD are OK. Take care.

Great news, Hoover, so pleased to hear that MiniHoover is OK, and that your (D)H is seeing the error of his ways.

Fantastic news that the baby is okay.

Your H shouldn't be off the hook for a very long time. Same with your MIL.

As far as I am concerned she kissed goodbye her right to see my children when she did this.

I am not prepared to forgive and then regret later, it is my duty to my children and to my husband not to allow it.