To have left this date.

[Needtonamechange9]

So I'm pretty certain I'm in the right.

I've been talking to this guy on the Bumble app for almost 2 months. Finally pinned down a date we could both meet (tonight).

I spent time getting ready and uberring 30 mins to see him and this is what happens. I'm the grey one.

I'm still in shock and on way home. If you read the rest of the messages from before today this guy seemed SO NORMAL!!!! Has a good job, kids.... WTF!!!!

I think you should have probably met and heard him out at least. He was pretty clear afterwards that that wasn't what he was intending. In which case that is embarrassing for you.

Drinks , chatting a film. A threesome !!! Bloody hell. He'd be mad to see you again.

OMG so shocked by the vote, that was 100% a totally "off" situation and she was right to leave.

This whole thread has gone weird and at the end of the day, it all sounds far too much hard work for a first date (which took two months to get in the diary at 9.30 pm!)

There has to be better out there. I don't buy any of his story and even if it was all genuine, I couldn't be bothered with it.

You can't be serious. The absolute utter best case scenario he was sincere and well intentioned - he still left her waiting around while he indulged his friend. So she can look forward to always being left dangling, messages ignored, waiting hours for him to maybe turn up.

Absolute best case scenario.

But far more likely he was not well intentioned.

Exactly! He got rid of his 'friend' very quickly so why could he have not done that in the first place?

not Only this sounds like a murder plan (thank god that 13 year old who is more sensible than most grown up women on this thread) but I would never chat with a guy for two months. Way too long.

You completely overreacted.

I don’t know why you kept talking about sex, when he never once mentioned it.

Honestly, it sounds as though you were jealous he had a female friend and it comes across like you were being very jealous and a bit petty.

I would be annoyed that he didn’t tell her he had plans straight away and this would be a red flag for me.

I would have simply messaged that you want to stick to the original plans of meeting at the botanist just the 2 of you, but if he’d rather spend time with his friend then you’ll go home because you don’t want to waste your time.

Eek. He was trying to get you to his with the safety net of a “friend.”

I bet she’d have mysteriously left by the time you arrived.

Yep! Having the kids so late is a blatant lie - if the kids are still a their dad's at 9pm they stay there, surely!? They don't go back to their mums at that time, just bizarre.

The whole thing is totally fabricated on his part. It's blatantly obvious.

Not wanting to go to a strange man's house you've never met, late at night is embarrassing?

You don’t bring someone else along on a genuine date. Surely you can see that!

@beatrix1234 "For those who think this guys messages are normal: please stay away from OLD, you don’t understand safety, we don’t want to see you in the headlines of the newspaper."

Not just OLD. Be very careful dating. I met someone I knew from school for a date and he kept saying "you won't be able to find the pub, just ring when you're off the Tube and I'll give directions".

Both living and working in London at the time, I'd say our knowledge of the area was equal.

I told him no, I'm not coming out of the Tube and having my phone glued to my ear while you give directions...he then gave the pub name, I went to meet him and although I decided to stick with being friends, I came away with a distinct feeling that dating him would be shit. I knew him and his best mate from school so a long time. I think the thing he wanted was control...? Or to look manly? Not that it matters. I was 24 I think.

Some of the (possible) naivete here does remind me of my dad. When I was in my 20s, I had a couple of guys who knew us a family who were interested in me and my dad absolutely didn't get the red flags that made me say no. He was all "but I know them and they're great".

Mum did understand them though, which with hindsight I think was lucky.

It seems a lot of women here really don't get it.

Some are saying he dodged a bullet, some are saying OP dodged a bullet.

Think about the outcome imbalance there. He doesn't dodge a bullet: he has a less than enjoyable evening, say.

She doesn't dodge a bullet: lots of outcomes, none of them good, from being put in an exceedingly uncomfortable situation to sexual assault to worse.

Women out there, trust your instincts.

There are some right numpties on here.

Can't believe the people saying you overreacted.

So many red flags! My guess no women at his house at all and you dodged a criminally sized bullet.

If he has dodged a bullet, that's surely only because Op had left by the time he got there?

If you leave the threesome suspicion out of it, he still left the OP sitting at a table without even texting the OP to explain. When he does respond to her texts he doesn't give any explanation, he just starts with "come and spend the evening with us" as if she should just know what's happened. In that context I don't even think it's that weird for OP to ask if he's tried to set up a threesome.

Plus I think it's seriously weird for him to expect someone he's never met in person to come to his house and spend the evening with him and a distraught female friend. I'd have gone home too.

I'm wondering how many of the people saying op was making a leap about the threesome have done a lot of online dating.

If I was meant to be on a first date with a guy and he had me sat waiting at the date, then suggested I go to his house for a good time and a drink instead I would assume he was just wanting me round for sex, whether another woman was in the mix or not!

I'd be mad he didn't turn up on time.
I'd be suspicious of being invited round to his when I've never met him in person before. I'd definitely not be going to his or waiting around for hours at the date location.

Do men honestly think a woman whose never met them before will be happy to be stood up then think the woman will head around to their house instead?!

OP I'd have been suspicious and annoyed too.

Because she's wary of not going to a strange man's house?!

As others have said this thread has been infiltrated and is dripping in misogyny.

You were right to trust your instinct OP. You're not the crazy one here.

Why??!

I'm guessing he was an hour late at least.

why do you want someone to listen to the explanation of a stranger, and one who has asked for your address, and left you waiting in a bar for an hour?

Perhaps OP's post has been targeted by an incel subreddit or similar men's group. It did seem very odd the way some of those posts were. I don't want to lose faith in the intelligence of women.

Looks Andrew tate and his friends have infiltrated the thread.

I would have just gone home
I wouldn't have got in to a discussion about sex and i wouldn't have wanted to go to his place
I would have said sort your friend out and we'll do this another time.

I think this sums it all up really 😂🤣