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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your 'glass next to the dishwasher' moment was?

630 replies

Rosesareradish · 24/02/2024 21:23

Or is it the straw that broke the camels back?

I was working today, so I asked DP to get something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. He was at home with the children, I was working until 6. At lunch time I text to say I would go to Aldi after work so I'd be late home.

I got home at 7.15, I unloaded the car and he put the shopping away. I went for a wee and said goodnight to the children. I then went in to the living room to ask what was for dinner. Nothing! He didn't get anything out of the freezer, he gave the children soup for tea and he had a nice sausage roll he'd bought.

No thought whatsoever to me eating. My irked face probably gave me away and he suggested I have cereal or cook something I'd just bought from Aldi.

AAAARGH.
AIBU to be so annoyed? I would never have left him without dinner after working. Especially if he then went and did the weekly shop afterwards (which he never does anyway..!)

OP posts:
Februaryfeels · 29/02/2024 20:52

@Cariadm Shhhhh

Sceptical123 · 29/02/2024 20:55

🫣

Smooshface · 29/02/2024 21:34

Tumbleweed101 · 25/02/2024 08:36

When my unemployed partner allowed our two toddlers to get out the house and go to the park alone (three houses along). A stranger called the police. He’d been sleeping. It wasn’t particularly early at that point and I’d woken him before I left for work to make sure he was up with the children.The police came to get me from work which was first I knew about it.

After that I lost all trust and respect for him. Especially as he wasn’t making a great effort to find work either. I’d have been more than happy to be the one at home.

We didn’t separate then, we did a few years later but that was the point I stopped trusting him and loving him the way I once had.

Oh my ex was like this, he was unemployed for 3 years and a bit of a crap stay at home parent, then he cheated on me!

Cariadm · 29/02/2024 23:39

BrightYellowDaffodil · 29/02/2024 18:36

Putting things in bold is a way of quoting. Calm down, no-one is plagiarising your pearls of wisdom.

Show quote history

I'm perfectly calm and thanks for the unwarranted sarcasm...🙄

Cariadm · 01/03/2024 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

puzzledout · 01/03/2024 02:31

@Cariadm ok then 👌!

CandidHedgehog · 01/03/2024 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You do realise that ALL CAPITALS is the online equivalent of screaming in someone’s face? It’s not surprising people thought you were rude when you chose to:

a. Go immediately to ‘Plagiarism! Reported!’ rather than politely asking what was going on.
b. Deliberately use a method of communication that is almost always abusive when used online.

When lots of people you meet online are apparently ‘sarcastic, nosy and supercilious’ and a ‘nasty group of busybodies’ (for … responding to a post you chose to make in a public forum) you might want to look at your own behaviour and the way you are coming across online …. just a thought.

Also, if you want someone to know you’ve posted, you need to either quote them or put an @ in front of the username. Just typing it without the @ (as you did in your 16.06 post) doesn’t tell them you’ve posted. It’s quite possible @lightwhiteongrey has no idea you were upset with the way she chose to agree with your post.

Sweden99 · 01/03/2024 07:44

Fruitandclottedcream · 28/02/2024 17:18

I herniated a disc in my back and had sciatica down both legs. I was out of action for over a month because anything beyond standing and lying flat triggered the pain.
My husband didn't do a single load of washing because he "hates doing laundry". And then when I'd recovered enough to be able to do things around the house, he expected me to catch up on a month's worth of dirty laundry, even though I'd been told to take it easy.

The worst part? Six months prior to this, he had abdominal surgery and I cared for him for a month while he recovered. All aspects of care, including personal care, not just keeping on top of the house. I felt so unappreciated and unvalued.

I didn't do the laundry. I told him it was his responsibility, to sort and pay for out of his share of our disposable income because I wasn't letting it come out of my share or out of the monthly family budget.

I also gave him an ultimatum. Therapy to get to the bottom of why he's like that and make him a better, more caring husband. Or divorce. He picked therapy and thankfully several months on things are a lot better.

The ending really struck me, I am surprised that therapy could make such a difference. I am just being nosey, but what happened?

Sceptical123 · 01/03/2024 07:44

@CandidHedgehog Yes the irony is they were agreeing.

I haven’t seen any apology to them either.

Cariadm · 01/03/2024 16:15

CandidHedgehog · 01/03/2024 07:32

You do realise that ALL CAPITALS is the online equivalent of screaming in someone’s face? It’s not surprising people thought you were rude when you chose to:

a. Go immediately to ‘Plagiarism! Reported!’ rather than politely asking what was going on.
b. Deliberately use a method of communication that is almost always abusive when used online.

When lots of people you meet online are apparently ‘sarcastic, nosy and supercilious’ and a ‘nasty group of busybodies’ (for … responding to a post you chose to make in a public forum) you might want to look at your own behaviour and the way you are coming across online …. just a thought.

Also, if you want someone to know you’ve posted, you need to either quote them or put an @ in front of the username. Just typing it without the @ (as you did in your 16.06 post) doesn’t tell them you’ve posted. It’s quite possible @lightwhiteongrey has no idea you were upset with the way she chose to agree with your post.

Edited
Show quote history

Do you feel better for that? 🙄

PickAChew · 01/03/2024 16:28

Is this your glass by the sink moment with mumsnet, @Cariadm or are you going to stay here and keep frothing?

CandidHedgehog · 01/03/2024 16:35

Cariadm · 01/03/2024 16:15

Do you feel better for that? 🙄

Show quote history

Yes, thank you for asking.🙂

Cariadm · 01/03/2024 17:09

PickAChew · 01/03/2024 16:28

Is this your glass by the sink moment with mumsnet, @Cariadm or are you going to stay here and keep frothing?

Oh the wit!🙄

Pixiedust1234 · 01/03/2024 17:17

What the heck has happened to this supportive thread? Has a man invaded and made it all about them instead?

@Fruitandclottedcream - yours is a very unusual ending and I hope your relationship continues to improve. Have to admit I'm the same as pp, did he ever disclose why he behaved so appallingly to you?

puzzledout · 01/03/2024 17:36

@Cariadm stop derailing a serious thread, you're embarrassing yourself.

Cariadm · 01/03/2024 19:07

This reply has been deleted

We are taking this down as it is not in the spirit of the site.

DancesWithDucks · 01/03/2024 19:45

This is the point where the younger generation can moan about the bad manners, insensitivity and rudeness of the older generation, with reason :D

mathanxiety · 01/03/2024 19:45

Sweden99 · 01/03/2024 07:44

The ending really struck me, I am surprised that therapy could make such a difference. I am just being nosey, but what happened?

Show quote history

I'm guessing some smart therapist told him women don't like doing laundry either.

AlwaysGinPlease · 01/03/2024 20:32

@Cariadm There are some heartbreaking stories on this post and you are making a mockery of it. Please stop.

puzzledout · 01/03/2024 20:46

@Cariadm because at 75 years old you're an utter embarrassment!

Cariadm · 01/03/2024 20:54

AlwaysGinPlease · 01/03/2024 20:32

@Cariadm There are some heartbreaking stories on this post and you are making a mockery of it. Please stop.

Sorry but this is getting beyond silly...if you want heartbreaking stories I can come up with a few myself AND on behalf of my mother (who put up with years of far worse behaviour from my father than has been mentioned on any of these posts) so don't preach at me please as I'm not 'making a mockery' out of anything 😡I would be grateful if you, and all the others who have butted in just for the sake of it on what, I have been informed was a simple mistake, are the ones who need to 'stop'?! 🙄

Nanny0gg · 01/03/2024 21:03

DancesWithDucks · 01/03/2024 19:45

This is the point where the younger generation can moan about the bad manners, insensitivity and rudeness of the older generation, with reason :D

Oh. Yes.

Because One person has behaved like a total idiot.

Thanks for that

AlwaysGinPlease · 01/03/2024 21:11

🤦🏻‍♀️

DancesWithDucks · 01/03/2024 22:02

@Nanny0gg it was dry humour. Not always the easiest to detect when typed, admittedly.

KnittingKnewbie · 01/03/2024 22:54

mandlerparr · 27/02/2024 13:54

he complained about too much pasta. hence, pasta every day.

Show quote history

The way I make spaghetti bolognese involves very little effort. Brown the meat, jar of sauce. Done. A massive 2kg of meat and 2 jars of sauce would last the week.
Then the put-upon wife can tick the box of feeding the ungrateful bastard husband and enjoy her lovingly prepared meals herself.

I personally don't think she should ever cook for him again but for whatever reason she seems to feel she has to do this seems a very low effort way to me

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