To ask what your 'glass next to the dishwasher' moment was?

[Rosesareradish]

Or is it the straw that broke the camels back?

I was working today, so I asked DP to get something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. He was at home with the children, I was working until 6. At lunch time I text to say I would go to Aldi after work so I'd be late home.

I got home at 7.15, I unloaded the car and he put the shopping away. I went for a wee and said goodnight to the children. I then went in to the living room to ask what was for dinner. Nothing! He didn't get anything out of the freezer, he gave the children soup for tea and he had a nice sausage roll he'd bought.

No thought whatsoever to me eating. My irked face probably gave me away and he suggested I have cereal or cook something I'd just bought from Aldi.

AAAARGH.
AIBU to be so annoyed? I would never have left him without dinner after working. Especially if he then went and did the weekly shop afterwards (which he never does anyway..!)

Absolutely selfish, also so easily averted even if he did forget to get something out, a quick call or text to say I'm really sorry completely forgot to get something out of the freezer, I've sorted the DC and I'll make do with a sausage roll, there's nothing else here, knowing you were going shopping you could've picked up something like a pizza to bung in the oven for yourself.

My ex was mollycoddled by his mother who did everything except wipe his arse. I don’t blame her entirely - this guy got As in maths, economics and German A Levels so I’m sure he could’ve figured out the rudiments of cleaning and laundry by himself. But she is partly responsible, along with his dad who watched her do everything.

The next generation are up and coming. In my office I have an early teen. There are four other people with early teens, four girls and one boy. The girls can cook and clean and have chores and artwork is all over cubicles and they are making crafts to sell for charity and coming to events for various causes. The one boy (BTW he is NT and two of the girls are ND) can't cook, clean, has no chores AND... wait for it... his parents have mice because of all the food he left all over his room. The dad blames the mum for spoiling him but that is just more of the same; that mums parent and dads stand there gormlessly watching.

I've told DD that if she decides to go for boys (she's veering between lesbian and bi at the moment) she should avoid these idiots like the plague. And look for a boy like her dad, who cooks, cleans, cares and is effective.

Aldi sells ingredients. Not hot meals for the whole family. My response to my oh working all day while I was at home, and then doing the weekly shop and getting home late, would be ‘what do you want me to do about dinner’ (if he was genuinely so thick and selfish that it wasn’t obvious he should be making it). His response when he realised the op had no dinner (if it was down to miscommunication) should have been ‘ah shit, I misunderstood’. Not go pour yourself some cereal

I hope you’ve got a takeaway for one, snd told him to fuck off when he’s looked at it. Then every day for the next week or two that he’s cooking (& make sure there are some) you say remember I’m a human being who needs food too. You make it impact them enough they don‘t forget.

Aldi also sells ready meals and there was nothing stopping him from messaging to say forgot to take tea out of freezer. Can you get yourself a ready meal - sorry.

Microwaves exist and have defrost settings. The op is not bu

DH left the bathtub hot tap dripping, daily, for about 2 weeks, despite being reminded repeatedly.
I lost it one day, and in the heat of the moment said he'd be the first man up explaining his divorce was because of a drippy tap.
Never did it again, and got the tap repaired soon after

To be fair on this one he didn’t leave the tap running, why was the tap dripping entirely his responsibility, that’s a general household issue?

Surely you mean ex-spouse?!

Years ago I had night classes twice a week for 4 hours, due to timetable and travel I would be able to have quick lunch and then not have a break until I got home about 10pm. Ex ate my fucking lunch, even though he was working part-time and was in no rush, just liked the look of mine. There had been other CF behaviour but that was when I decided enough was enough.

Brilliant! 💪

😂😂😂😂😂

@Changingplace because he wasn't turning the tap all the way off after his bath/shower.
Normally you would turn the tap to the 6 o'clock position, when the seal thing started to go, you had to turn it a bit further (to the 7 o'clock position) and he would 'forget' to turn it the extra bit.
He had said he'd take care of it, but got busy and forgot.

We didn’t live together but had been together 2 years and he spent 3 nights a week at mine, as I was a solo parent. One evening he paused what I was watching and said “are you sticking kettle on?”. It sounds like nothing, but while I was waiting for that kettle to boil I realised he’d never made me a single brew. He’d watched as I got up knackered every Sunday morning with the kids and never once said “you could do with a lie in, I’ll get up and bring you up a brew”. Or even just got up with me to keep me company. Never thanked me for washing his clothes so he could skip going home before work. In fact he liked to send me selfies from my own bed when I was out doing childminder runs and bussing it to work. Never offered us a lift.
By the time I handed him that brew, I knew it was the last one we’d have together

My now ex rang me one day whilst I was shopping to see if I could buy an expensive very specific individual vegan cake for one of his colleagues for someone's leaving lunch. He just had to take something in as part of a shared lunch which I'd already picked up and by this time I was in the car park loading the weekly shop.
I wouldn't have minded but he had no idea of my tastes and would never have gone out of his way to anything like this for me.
Realised he would only do these things to make himself look good in others eyes but not me as already had me.
He didn't have me much longer. Plus I didn't buy the f...king cake!! 😂

Mine - we have a family bathroom and a downstairs toilet. I am the only person who cleans either. I was complaining about this to my husband after cleaning the downstairs loo.. he said 'well I hardly use the downstairs loo so I'm not doing that' I said 'I don't wear your fucking clothes but I still wash them' I'm now getting the silent treatment 🤷🏻‍♀️

She sliced the wing mirror off the car in an empty car park. I mean how the fuck do you do that ?

This. Nothing else to add.

It's far too late for me to leave sadly but after 40 odd years of marriage he had a tantrum - one of many - and told me he was sick of me serving up the same old shit every night. I pretty much cook from scratch and his meals are varied...
I'm never getting over that..ever..until my dying breath

This isn't selfish, idle or disrespectful though is it? It doesn't smack if a disregard towards you as a partner.

I think that I would refuse to cook for him ever again.

This sounds like an accident though, not selfish nasty behaviour.

I think you need to go on strike @neilyoungismyhero . It’ll serve him right. How dare he

By slowly reversing far too close to a pole. I won’t say any more about this.

Neilyoungismyhero...
It's NEVER too late.
Get free of this horrible person... if you only ever got one days pleasure in life without him before you died... it'd be sooo worth it.
You deserve so much more than this total disrespect.
Leaving is never easy, but then your life with him every day is another day missed of actually enjoying your life, whether that's on your own or with a partner who thinks that you are his world and would treasure beans on bloody toast...
Bless you, I hope things get better for you.

@neilyoungismyhero I’m so sorry that you feel you’re too old to leave. Do you want to? Because I know people who divorced in their 70s and remarried in their 80s. You never know how long, or how short, life is going to be, and you don’t deserve to have anyone tell you that the caring efforts you make in a relationship are “shit.” Please think about it. Only when you’re dead is it too late to start your life over again. Until then…

This whole thread makes me sad. I’m glad to see a lot of these referring to ex-DPs and ex-DHs, but I notice some of you are still with the person who doesn’t appreciate you (I know one or two people said they’re planning to leave, which is great). I know it’s possible to have a good relationship, with someone who does one thing that drives you barmy, but some of the things said on here by partners and husbands are so hurtful, thoughtless, sexist, and rude, that it’s no wonder your love for them is fading.

Please don’t take their words to heart. None of it is true. You are worth being seen, known and acknowledged, appreciated and celebrated. If you’re with someone who doesn’t do that for you, it’s never too late or impossible to leave. You can find help - from family or friends or WomensAid. If anything, life is far too short to stay somewhere you’re unhappy, where you feel unloved.

Good luck and please know you’re worth it all.