Meeting daughter's boyfriend- what's the etiquette here?

[tiredmama23]

Probably a daft question but this is new territory for me. My 17 year old DD has been dating a guy since just before Christmas, so only a couple months, and wants me to meet him. Apparently he's quite keen to meet me too. I've agreed to go for tea this evening with them both (with my DH, DD's stepdad, and her younger sister). What's the etiquette? Do we offer to pay for him? I think yes, DH thinks no because he's an adult man with a well paid job?) However since he's only 18 I'm still seeing him as a child and thinking we should pay?

We aren't rolling in cash this month so I see DH's point, but I'd feel a bit tight to not pay for him? But then if he's having a lot to drink then I don't want to end up with that bill 🤦🏼‍♀️

Thoughts? How would you play this?

I asked them to remove the bullying comments and they're still standing, yet they deleted one of mine which was me standing up for myself!!

So yeah, doubt they're interested in helping.

Another poster has even observed that I've been "unnecessarily berated" - that's another person's objective take on this. And yet still, no action from Mumsnet. Hugely disappointing and not OK, at all.

Of course you pay!

The fact that it would need pointing out to you speaks volumes.

Other posters have seen it🤷‍♀️

All the op has done is snap at everyone who offers a different point of view on both threads and is banging on about being so so worried about her daughter who is experiencing a very normal thing yet arguing CONSTANTLY

I don’t think being upset verging on devastated at breaking up with your first real boyfriend constitutes ‘not dealing with life’! Okay, maybe things got a little intense quickly, but isn’t that what first relationships are about? Figuring this stuff out?

Op is ott, nobody died. D will be upset but will get over it over dramatic.

Nobody died, but the OP's dd probably feels like it's the end of the world right now, and for all that the OP almost certainly knows that it isn't, it's horrible to see your child so upset.

No need to be bitchy about it!

Yes bullying (on TWO threads now, not content with just one) absolutely IS astonishing and disturbing, I agree.

I did. They haven't

Well least they've finally taken action and deleted the previously banned poster 👍🏻

Thank you Mumsnet

😂

Thank you. I did, and then he dumped her. 😟

Omg really?? That's awful. Can you invoice him?

@tomago
Yeah I've already sent the invoice in the post 👍🏻

correct,no one has died. But that in itself doesn’t mean posts or concerns are invalid or trifling

Oh my goodness.

Sorry your DD got dumped. But she’s really young, it was a fresh relationship too. Obviously she will be upset but he refusing to eat and go to college is really concerning, I would want to know why she feels that strongly about someone so new at her age.

The only reason I can think of why someone would be this affected is if they had given up their virginity for that person (that’s not a question you don’t need to answer) - and if so, I really hope it’s not the case where he used her for that. I remember in my school days boys would ‘collect’ people virginity’s like trophy’s.. pretty disgusting and sad.

I hope DD soon realises that he’s a POS and really not worth the tears.

Why resurrect this (pretty unpleasant, by the end) thread? It's been days, the DD is probably already starting to feel better and going back to college. No need to be mean about the boyfriend, they were in a relationship, it didn't work out. It's happened to almost everyone.

@innerdesign because it’s been days since I read any update on this and have only just done that. I was unaware mumsnet posts had a best before date.

Not this again. Teenage kids break up shocker.

Oh no sorry, he was a man wasn't he. He had turned 18 and metamorphosised. And was likely to want more than one drink with a meal out, hence a MN thread was required.

In 3, 2, 1 ..

How crazy to tell the OP that she doesn't have to tell you if her daughter is still a virgin!