To think alot of people who have money/assets generally are clueless and lack empathy for those who don't.

[LindaHamilton]

I was chatting to colleague today about the UK couple who won the 61 million in the lotto. Colleague is much better paid than me and owns a house here in South East... She started ranting about how nobody needs that money and ''you'd get bored blah blah blah''

Other colleague also on a much better salary than me, who was given a big inheritance last year said similar and that she wouldn't want to win the lotto and why would anybody want that money?

On a similar note I'm reading many posts tonight on here and people saying their inheritance they received was no big deal and I've seen threads like this before. Basically people who got inheritances telling people who got none to stop complaining and to be happy. Easy to bloody say when you were given an inheritance....

AIBU to think there is a massive lack of empathy here? And people with money try to act like it's no big deal and think that those who don't have it should just suck it up?

I wouldn’t turn it down because I could do so much good with that sort of money by putting it in the right hands.

About 10 years ago DW and I were just starting out I was working as a junior engineer and she was still working on her PhD, we didn’t have much money, we’d get 3 meals out of a chicken and buy everything from the market and discount shelves. She’d browse the Tiffany or Cartier websites and dream. every year or two I’d get her something she’d been looking at for Christmas, it was a big deal.

Because we have worked hard for about 5 years we have been minted and it was easy to go to those stores and buy those things Christmas, birthday, anniversary, valentines etc now there is nothing she wants, it’s a bit sad that she has lost that anticipation and excitement. But I guess we’ve grown up a bit too.
I think that if you are born into that or become extremely wealthy then it’s possible to become very bored and depressed. Look at how messed up celebrities get?

Yea and look how messed up those living/born into poverty are. If celebs are as messed up as they say they are plugging their latest book then give their money all away. Nah they wouldn't do that.

I feel that these huge amounts they win on the lottery might be better being split between other people , it seems weird to give one person so much although those are the game rules and I admit I wouldn't turn it down , but I would give a chunk of it to different local charities and family and friends.
It wouldn't just be my life I'd be able to change and i suppose it's the same for those who have won really big too.
I wouldn't want a yacht or a private island or any of that as it's an alien world to me , but it would be nice to be able to buy my children a house and just have a few nice things.

If they've never known hardship then yes I agree with you but there are plenty of people who are doing well despite having lived with nothing for years and do have empathy for those who are struggling.

I remember the dread of the postman sending another credit card statement that we couldn't afford due to redundancy and then a failed business start up. 13yrs later we are doing better than ever, we are still super frugal now despite having much more income. It was a really tough time for us and it felt like everyone else was enjoying the prime of their lives. Even innocuous small talk hurts, "Any holidays booked?" hit especially deep. I grew up with annual 2 weeks abroad so felt like a complete failure. We still have no plans to go abroad whilst the prices are so high tbh.

It wouldn't just be my life I'd be able to change

Spot on. That’s it in a nutshell.

You also wouldn't turn it down as you'd look after yourself very well too in the process and know you could do that much better than with a million quid. Nothing wrong with that but be honest you are just as selfish here as the rest of us. You are human and you naturally put yourself first.

@LindaHamilton You'd have your mansion and high life just like all the others. Don't even pretend otherwise.

I think it depends very much on the person and probably where they were in the lifecycle. I can honestly say that if I won £60m a substantial sum would be given away - split into modest sums to close family so they can buy a moderate house or start a business.

There would be moderate gifts to local people I know who have set up small charities and who work hard in them. It would not change my life at all which is a very happy one as I have achieved all I set out to achieve. A 30 year old version of me might be quite different though.

The lottery do multiple games like the thunderball. hotpicks and set for life where smaller sums are given as prizes but these games don't perform anywhere as near as big as the big games. Hence they know the profit is in the euromillions/main lottery. That's why they aren't going to dumb down the jackpots.

Stats even prove bigger jackpots attract more people.

ofcourse a substantial sum would be given away but a substantial sum is still 10 million and you'd keep the lion's share. It's easy to say you give away 90 per cent of it and keep a normal life when you don't have it. The reality is often quite different.

If you and you DW are doing PHDS and are an engineer then you obviously are both intelligent. Many people wouldn't be able to manage such paths in life though and not have the opportunity to better themselves you must remember. They also were born into families where education wasn't valued so they wouldn't have had the opportunities to progress like you and dw.

That’s such a good point. I’m much closer to the end of my life than the beginning. A million each would set our four adult kids up for life. I’d keep £2 million and have a high old time on the interest and really enjoy researching the best way of benefiting the most people with the rest.

@LindaHamilton And my point is many people, particularly later in life do 'have it' in the sense they have achieved all that they want to. Assets, lifestyle, relationships. You are wrong to say that everybody would act the same and out of greed would hold onto a lottery win or allow it to change their life.

If you are poor and happy then you aren't really poor. You just think you are.

Someone said 'money can't buy you happiness'. Well I don't know. As you get older you realise that it can sometimes ensure that you don't live in pain every day because the NHS can't or won't provide hip or knees replacement surgery or that you won't go blind because you'll get eye surgery on time, or, if in Scotland, that your child won't be permanently crippled because there's no money or will to fund scoliosis surgery in the necessary window!!

Wierdly not totally true

You can be very poor and happy as long as you feel you are being treated fairly , that everyone is poor with you - it's when you have huge inequality that poor becomes a huge indicator of unhappiness

It's why at difficult times the idea of "all in this together" gets promoted

I gues you are right if its handed on a plate
We'v never expected or wanted anything ad worked for everything ourselves IE me and OH. Children when younger helped by not having to give them any money when they all started FT work at varying ages and all did PT work before FT work

We now live in londo and own a couple of properties, bought outright - we are not rich, we live in an ordinary house with 4 double bedrooms now original house was 5 bedrooms - have nice cars left work aged just over 50 and have oe proper holiday a year now and several mini breaks in UK and EU

We watch our money and the last few years think about those that worked hard are working hard spending money prrudetly like us but they are struggling. I'm not talking about the workshy.

As you get older, you do care about others more. Recent years we gave susbtail sums of cash to all three of our children and gave one 40k more than the other two as they had a massive mortgage

We stopped doing the lottery many years ago soon after it became twice weekly. We do have premium bonds and I often wonder if we won anything substantial ie 1k or more we'd just give it to our grandchildren future - we alrded do cash transfer on their birthdays and chrismas presents and a present

mn is funny/hypocritical about this. People bash landlords or those who inherited wealth here because they have unfair privilege. These people are fair game in bashing.

Yet I have seen threads where people who point out the unfairness of the better pensions/cheaper houses the older generation got and the people who point it out get told off for being jealous and ageist...

Ok so were you ever ''very poor and happy''?

Please explain to us how.

''We now live in londo and own a couple of properties, bought outright - we are not rich, we live in an ordinary house with 4 double bedrooms now original house was 5 bedrooms - have nice cars left work aged just over 50 and have oe proper holiday a year now and several mini breaks in UK and EU''

then yes you are bloody rich. My God, you have just proved my point I made on my op.

It's easy to say you give away 90 per cent of it and keep a normal life when you don't have it. The reality is often quite different.

The reality is wherever it is found. This is the €217m lottery winner....

The winner, nicknamed “Guy” by French lottery group Françaises des Jeux (FDJ), won the sum in December 2020. At the time, the jackpot was the largest in the history of EuroMillions, a seven-number lottery involving several European countries including France and the United Kingdom.

The result of Guy’s determination is Anyama, a foundation named after a town in Côte d’Ivoire where he spent several years during his childhood, he told Le Parisien.

“I have passed on most of my prize money and will gradually give away almost all of it,” he said.

He is not the first French person to give away the vast majority of their win and he won't be the last.

Yes, on that point I agree with you. That someone who’s absolutely minted can say they’re not wealthy is an absolute piss take.

Yea so you got 1/2 people who gave away their wealth, in the typical person though they wouldn't, that's my point. It's like bringing up mother Teresa who devoted her life to helping others, vast majority of people wouldn't do that.

Of all the publicised lotto winners in the world a tiny minority have given most of it away. And the likelihood is that vast majority of us here would do the same.

I was trying to explain - it comes down to inequality more than absolute wealth. If not having food is normal for you and everyone around you, everyone you see, it somehow matters less - it's just the way it is

Think beyond our shores - most of the world live a much more tenuous existence , small holdings to provide food that give just enough on a rare good year , yet there is often a lot of happiness , music, laughter , because people just make the best of their lives

It's much worse when it feels unfair

Happiness come from people around you., sense of community and belonging , sense of helping each other out

It is hard to be happy when you are permanently stressed trying to work out what food you can buy but it is possible if you are in a community all struggling and all helping each other

Revolutions occur- anger rises- the happiness goes - when people realise that some have a much easier life

ok so were you ever living in poverty but because everyone around you was the same you were happy/fine with it?