To think alot of people who have money/assets generally are clueless and lack empathy for those who don't.

[LindaHamilton]

I was chatting to colleague today about the UK couple who won the 61 million in the lotto. Colleague is much better paid than me and owns a house here in South East... She started ranting about how nobody needs that money and ''you'd get bored blah blah blah''

Other colleague also on a much better salary than me, who was given a big inheritance last year said similar and that she wouldn't want to win the lotto and why would anybody want that money?

On a similar note I'm reading many posts tonight on here and people saying their inheritance they received was no big deal and I've seen threads like this before. Basically people who got inheritances telling people who got none to stop complaining and to be happy. Easy to bloody say when you were given an inheritance....

AIBU to think there is a massive lack of empathy here? And people with money try to act like it's no big deal and think that those who don't have it should just suck it up?

This is absolutely true. The wealthy landowners of past centuries were rewarded for being mercenaries. Until the Industrial Revolution wealth was enabled only from land and there was a monopoly. The Industrial Revolution was the first time wealth started to become diluted. It was the ‘new money’ and in a historical context is still new money some 6-7 generations later.

I completely agree. They don't get it. The fear of not having enough to get to the end of the month, of how to feed everyone that week, an unexpected cost, new shoes for growing feet.

I lived like this for several years but now we are very average earners but have too many kids so we never have any money left over. However now we are also in an incredibly position that my sister is now well off and in a position to lend us money. Over the years she has fronted the cost for a new boiler, a bike for DH and a cleaner for 8 weeks when we had 3 very yoing children, I was hospitalised and DH was on 60 hour a week shifts.
so many people don't have someone like my sister to bail them out (we always pay back but it's interest free and over a long time).
I realise though I find it hard to remember what is was like to be on the edge now we haven't been for about a decade. I imagine if you have never had to seriously worry about money it would be even harder.

So well put!
The reverse snobbery on this site is incredible. Unless you've walked a mile in another's shoes, you have no idea of their lives, pressures, stresses, pain.
'Poor' people do not have the monopoly on struggling or suffering. 'Rich' people have shit, feckless and abusive partners. Rich people have kids with mh issues, school avoidance, emotional issues.
So stop the 'rich/posh/they have money, i don't, it's not fair tropes

My household has been through both ends of the spectrum regarding income and I’ve always thought £60+ million is an insane amount to win and 100% unnecessary. My sister is a single parent on low income and often says the same. As PP said above. More £5m prizes would be so much more beneficial. You seem to be confusing indifference to money with being sensible about money.

I think it depends. People who have known a different situation will probably appreciate it better than those who were born wealthy.

I think it is difficult for lots of people to imagine a situation wildly different from their own. I can't imagine eg having 5 foreign holidays booked a year in advance (as a friend once told me that's what they did). I've been in a situation where I had to wait til the end of the month to buy DC new shoes or a new item of school uniform that they'd grown out of, but I've never been in a situation where I struggled to put food on the table for example.

That's takes the right kind of knowledges
And usually something to invest in the first place
a safety net

£61m wouldn’t ruin me. I’d appreciate every penny of it. But I’m already very comfortable with everything I need so would simply enjoy doing a few things to my home, holidaying at a higher price point, giving family life changing sums and starting or joining some charity.

Its not really shocking that people can’t fully appreciate each others perspective. And even if they can, are they never allowed to comment from their own perspective?

I do think a lottery win is a double edge sword. Look at all the lottery winners who end up with serious depression and unhappy lives.

£61m wouldn’t ruin me. I’d appreciate every penny of it.

I very much doubt that. I’d be giving £55 million of it away. It’s an obscene amount of money.

I might not need £61 million as an individual but it would put my children and future grandchildren into a completely different life to mine. One where they'd have so many more choices.

I come from a line of poor ancestors so neither me or my parents or their parents inherited anything. We have all been in rental properties so no assets etc. To win that kind of amount would be life changing for a few generations so long as it was invested wisely.

So yes, winning that kind of money would be useful so long as you look past today.

£61m wouldn’t ruin me. I’d appreciate every penny of it

Same. But I would stay anonymous. I saw a reddit post where this guy was incorrectly named as a lottery winner in the US in a state where lottery winners arent allowed to remain anonymous. He had something like 700 messages overnight on SM. He was hounded, sent abusive threats, begging requests, stalked, even his family were harassed because he couldn't reply to all of them, even when he said it was a mistake people got even angrier accusing him of lying and he had to contact the police in the end as he had so many threats. It was awful. That kind of money brings out the worst in people so you have to be careful.

That's refreshingly honest. If only he could bring himself to pay some of the inheritance tax he dodged, sorry "tax planned", when he became the Duke.

Surely everyone with one or more British ancestors in the last 1000 years will have one that came over with William the Conqueror - like the 'we are all descended from Charlemagne' thing, by the time you go back a thousand years, we all have thousands of ancestors because it doubles every time - 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents etc.

People who work hard, such as Rishi Sunak's parents, are simply hard workers who have been born with the luck of intelligence, drive and being able to achieve the right circumstances (distant branches of his ancestors' families are likely living a life of grind in India whereas his managed to move to the UK from east Africa). Whether they had children or not was irrelevant. You wouldn't say of a poor, unsuccessful family: "they didn't want to give a better life to their children".
It's luck of birth, nature and nurture.

I am not sure I agree that wealthy people can't feel empathy for those who are struggling. We are comfortable financially now (not lotto wealthy) but when we were first married and trying to buy a house in London and had two young children we had very little spare money so we know what it is like to have virtually nothing and struggle to buy food and children's shoes or pay a bill.

We made a decision to buy a property slightly further out and spent a lot of time and effort on career development to increase earning power then we moved away from London which was horrendously expensive even for an average house. That involved sacrifices but financially it was worth it.

My dad was wealthy but thought we should stand on our own two feet so didn't help financially. I thought that was harsh but I kind of get where he was coming from. Things you accumulate yourself gives you self respect rather than being handed things on a plate. I found we appreciated things more if we worked and saved for them ourselves.

We also had second hand furniture, no holidays, luxury cars or gadgets until we had bought our forever home and then we stayed put and gradually were able to afford to increase lifestyle.

When my Dad died my mum was much more generous and helped us all financially and now we do the same with our adult children but they still have to work as we did. I like to think we give them a handhold rather than a handout. They are starting to see the benefit of some of the things we did like buying second hand and saving for things which is a bit old fashioned now.

I empathise with people who are struggling but sometimes I see that they struggle to save or wait until they can afford things and make in my opinion poor choices. Sometimes they are unlucky too so there is no one reason why people have no money and it is a bit naive to think otherwise. Very few of us are born wealthy. I don't envy or criticise lottery winners as I know some things are more important like health and good relationships. There is only so much money you can have before it becomes meaningless. Life cannot just be about money.

Would much rather see 120 people win 500K in this case - that’s life changing money for 99% of the population.

Giving that kind of money to your children would be a risk too. I do know of one young man who came into an inheritance on his 18th birthday - dropped Uni, dropped working, turned into a party boy - too much money at the wrong time in his life fucked with his head, his ambitions and his happiness.

You do realise poor people have all those issues and than are poor on top of that? They're not mutually exclusive. And the money does make things easier.

Mh problems? Private care.

Being abused? You might have money available to leave.

School refusal? Pay for online school or a tutor.

Money doesn't mean you don't have other issues but it often does mean you have options which may ease it even slightly or give you avenues to explore at least.

Reading that back I don't even know if it was sarcasm so apols if it was.

As much as I'd love £61m, I have to agree that no-one really needs £61m.

That won't stop me playing the Euromillions on occasion though!

Surely, though, a lot of older “wealthy through inheritance” people have known poverty in younger years, so would know exactly what’s it’s like.

I do.

Poverty has always existed, sometimes worse than it is now, but many have just climbed out of it through work etc.

As a country, many are struggling now, but we’ve been through recessions before, and they generally end.

Others have inherited from relatives and maybe also worked their way to a better life.

Lottery wins are a different thing, because they are so huge.

It would be interesting to see the demographic of people who buy lottery tickets. Are they poor or struggling people who probably cannot afford to pay out a fiver a week or whatever it costs or is it those who are wealthy or somewhere in the middle. We don't bother doing it.

Admirable honesty!

Unless you yourself have previously been financially insecure and managed to overcome it somehow.

It's a lot harder to "climb out of it through work" now though because even decently paying jobs aren't covering people's rent and bills.