To think alot of people who have money/assets generally are clueless and lack empathy for those who don't.

[LindaHamilton]

I was chatting to colleague today about the UK couple who won the 61 million in the lotto. Colleague is much better paid than me and owns a house here in South East... She started ranting about how nobody needs that money and ''you'd get bored blah blah blah''

Other colleague also on a much better salary than me, who was given a big inheritance last year said similar and that she wouldn't want to win the lotto and why would anybody want that money?

On a similar note I'm reading many posts tonight on here and people saying their inheritance they received was no big deal and I've seen threads like this before. Basically people who got inheritances telling people who got none to stop complaining and to be happy. Easy to bloody say when you were given an inheritance....

AIBU to think there is a massive lack of empathy here? And people with money try to act like it's no big deal and think that those who don't have it should just suck it up?

The friends I have who are wealthy (and have been born to wealthy familes) don’t understand what life is like for most people let alone those in poverty. I do my best to open their minds to reality when I can.
I have always found the richest people I come across are the meanest with money too.
It’s also true of many of our nastiest politicians as well.

Yeah, a friend who lives completely rent free in a flat paid for in cash by parents telling me “I wouldn’t want win the lottery” and me feeling like “YOU ALREADY WON IT AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW”

Yes. I know so many who, while not super rich, have been given houses and large sums of money by family and simply cannot see how those of us who have rent to pay can't just work part time or do some air bnb for extra holiday money or do any of those things they take for granted. It wouldn't be an issue except they also make random comments implying people without their good fortune are somehow amusing or odd for not simply working part time or renting out a spare room or spare house!

I agree with you to an extra.

People who started their live with assets and money don't appreciate it but I think successful people who have built it up over time, generally never forget where the came from and do appreciate it. They also tend to be more aware that circumstances can change over time and just because they are in a good position now doesn't mean it will remain that way.

Obviously some excepts but generally I think the starting point makes a lot if difference.

We are reasonably lucky in as much as we received a reasonable amount of inheritance when DH's parents passed. Not a massively life changing amount, but enough to make life a little easier. However, we have both also worked hard all our lives, and have never been the sort to blow our money on some of the crap that others do. I have all the empathy in the world for people less well off than ourselves OP, however, very little for people who whine about it, when they won't get off their backsides and work hard for it, or who insist on having all the latest gadgets, iPhones, new cars, etc, which are all bought on credit, just to keep up appearances. Far better in my opinion to save for what you really want, as it makes you appreciate it far more than if you buy it the instant you want it, but on credit, so you're bored with the new phone or whatever before you've even finished paying for it. We also found that on the odd occasion when we have had to buy on credit, for the bigger purchases, like cars, that once the finance has been paid off, putting the amount that we were paying each month in a savings account, rather than going 'Whoopee, we're in the money, let's go and blow all that extra cash each month', has made a huge difference to our savings pot, and enabled us to pay off our mortgage faster.

In saying that, I too can't see how anyone could possible NEED the amount that the couple you're talking about have won, and think it would be far better if instead of having these massive payouts, there were more small ones, say up to £5 million, which would be life changing for most people.

People shouldn't be rude but why should people empathise? people are people whatever their circumcstances and people make choices sure winning the lottery is a gamble but this chip on their shoulder people have is tiresome

If a 'rich' person makes comments sure i can think they are being a twat if I want too but this 'I am poor you need to pity me' is also wrong
some people choose different paths in life some things that happen to people are no their fault but a lot is choices people make that takes them on a different path, everyone should own their choices

I Think most wealthy ppl I know have worked bloody hard or have family/parents who have worked hard in very tough times and although we/they/I empathise with ppl in dire situations I don’t think they help themselves sometimes.

I don't think the first colleague really qualifies. Most people's lives would be very favourably changed by one million, two million, three million. But truly, nobody needs sixty-one million.

I find that a lot of wealthy people I know believe that they worked hard for it and deserve it and that those not in the same position didn't work as hard. They can't see that sometimes luck is part of it. Or that being in a wealthy family to start off with gives you the backing and security and openings to make choices that secure further wealth.

My son went to a university that has a large population of extreme wealth (he was on scholarship/aid) and he said while his rich friends were very nice, they had zero concept of how regular people lived.

Example, if they were going somewhere, DS would propose taking the bus, but they couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just take a taxi.

Also his friends girlfriend would routinely go on a shopping spree and drop $800 on “stuff”. She also “dropped” his not very well off friend as soon as she graduated.

I think if people are wealthy but self made, they are more aware.

To me 'work hard' means work in a way that grows wealth not just work 18 hours days in a 'normal' job, in the way people speak of wealthy people not in a physically work hard way

Maybe people born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Overall, I disagree though. I know plenty of people who have worked hard to overcome a childhood of poverty or having less than others and succeeded. They know what it is like to be there and have empathy, but also value those who put forward the effort to work their way ahead. (I know not everyone can do that for no fault of their own, so it's not always that simple).

Honestly my dad who worked himself up from nothing - like he had nothing, no family, raised in an institution ect…. Is less understanding about why everyone can’t do this than I am. the self made people are nearly the worst for it.

I'm with your first colleague. £610k would be a life-changing amount. £61k would be a life-changing sum for anyone who struggles at the end of the month.

£61m on the other hand would probably ruin me. I couldn't imagine how to spend that sort of money. If I stopped working my life wouldn't have purpose and my mental health would plummet. Do I really want to join this list?
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/tragedy-lottery-winners-who-suffered-24264961

I know someone who has a decent amount of disposable wealth (no idea exactly how much but I'd guess he's worth a seven figure sum). He's really insecure, finds it hard to make friends because he can't tell if someone is genuine or on the make.

Money really can't buy you happiness. It just buys a more comfortable kind of misery.

They have no clue at all

Poverty is a cycle that's extremely difficult to get out of.

And at some point, it's all you know, so it perpetuates

Duke of Westminster, one of the wealthiest men in the country replying to a question about how to become as wealthy as he is. "Try to make sure one of your ancestors came over with William the Conqueror ". Didn't say a word about hard work, oddly.

People are missing the point about the lottery win comments. .

Would I like to be given a free house and 500k? Absolutely.

Would I like to win £100 million? No it's too much money to receive in one go and it's ruinous.

@WandaWonder choices??? You’re kidding right? It’s far more about luck than choice - if you were lucky enough to be born into a wealthy family (or even a comfortable one) then good for you. Social mobility is lower than it’s ever been - it’s so reductionist to pretend that if everyone just worked harder there wouldn’t be any poverty 🙄.

I think when you have a lot of money, you don’t come into contact with people who are struggling, you don’t fully appreciate the stress someone feels when they are financially insecure. So I agree empathy is going to be limited. £1M would be lovely - I don’t think we’d stop working. £61M would be a mindfuck I think it would be hard for most people to cope in a stable way.

I remember talking to a colleague about “who wants to be a millionaire” and what our strategy would be. He said “ I’d risk it to 500k because anything less isn’t really worth having”. He was a nice man but honestly? I wouldn’t have risked 32k because that would have been a flat deposit for me. Like, there would have been no other way for me to just get a lump sum like that at the time.

We only have to look at our Prime Minister to see this

This. As a pp says £61 million would be a head fuck

Quite right. His parents worked hard to give a better life to the children.

I went to a barbecue at a friends house. She is on benefits and is unable to work due to a progressive condition. She had put on a lovely spread, and I knew that she had really scrimped to lay out a choice of dishes. Two of our wealthy friends turned up and didn’t eat a thing because they “weren’t really hungry”. They just had no idea that the host had needed to budget meticulously to put on that barbecue and make sure there was enough food for everyone and had obviously already eaten. After they had gone, the host was annoyed that they’d accepted the invite and then eaten nothing. There were only six of us us there, so it was a big impact on provision. Wealthy friends were oblivious and just there for the company and booze. No dietary issues - I’ve eaten the exact same types of food at their house.

I expect they knew exactly how hard up she is and that was precisely why they ate before they went.