To think alot of people who have money/assets generally are clueless and lack empathy for those who don't.

[LindaHamilton]

I was chatting to colleague today about the UK couple who won the 61 million in the lotto. Colleague is much better paid than me and owns a house here in South East... She started ranting about how nobody needs that money and ''you'd get bored blah blah blah''

Other colleague also on a much better salary than me, who was given a big inheritance last year said similar and that she wouldn't want to win the lotto and why would anybody want that money?

On a similar note I'm reading many posts tonight on here and people saying their inheritance they received was no big deal and I've seen threads like this before. Basically people who got inheritances telling people who got none to stop complaining and to be happy. Easy to bloody say when you were given an inheritance....

AIBU to think there is a massive lack of empathy here? And people with money try to act like it's no big deal and think that those who don't have it should just suck it up?

Absolutely this, I never understand people who make claims liek this, they must have a really limited imagination

Firstly I would give those closest to me a million each, yes they would pay tax, who cares, they're getting a massive wodge

Then I would try to set up some sort of social housing enterprise of sorts, or at least housing or work programmes

Lastly I would also enjoy life to the hilt, no more basics, it would be Waitrose and M+S all the way, buy a nice house, have a nice car, have nice holidays, Id get a chef, a personal trainer, have an acupuncturist, have a personal hair dresser, get a face lift (I better stop this is depressing me!!)

It has been reported the estate is held in a trust. Trusts pay tax at the marginal rates that individuals do. Straight in at 45%.

The £9bn is in a trust. It paid 20% inheritance tax when it was set up and pays 6% every 10 years - reported as £600m or £60m a year. The arrangement means that inheritance tax on a property estate is spread out over a longer period like a form of wealth tax. To say no inheritance tax is paid is wrong.

Giving away imaginary millions is very easy😁 - but I wonder what lottery winners really spend their money on and what degree of happiness the money generates.

However big the chip on my shoulder may be the more you write the more you prove the OP's point, that those who are privileged can't see their privilege, regardless of the level of privilege and judge those less privileged for 'making poor choices'.

Yes, there is always someone with more inherited wealth and opportunities, and inherited wealth is not the only privilege, but it doesn't alter the fact that you had significant privileges too. You were financially helped by your mother who inherited a large pension. You were able to buy your dream house. You had a secure family unit. A good education.

And this spiel of 'my dad built his career from the age of 14' - I, too, started working at 14, but funnily enough had little opportunity to become a MD of a company as a working class woman. I've lived in grotty flats all my life, including with kids, and don't own a thing. We did try to buy about 15 years ago but were already priced out of the market even with two £30k a year salaries. Currently trying to save to buy a retirement flat in about 20 years' time if we're lucky and property prices haven't risen yet further out of reach. And yes, I realise our position is privileged compared to that of many others!

You said this in your first post: I empathise with people who are struggling but sometimes I see that they struggle to save or wait until they can afford things and make in my opinion poor choices. Proving the OP's point.

Agree with PPs that there can be a big difference between those born with money and those who've worked hard for it, but let's not forget the massive amount som from each group do for the common good through support and giving

Yes there are some of the very rich who haven't a clue, but that applies equally in the other direction and it's all too easy to cry "Yahh, rich bastard/poor waster" rather than looking at how our own choices have affected things

It's not just people who have loads of money, and in most cases it is because they genuinely have no idea at all what it is like to have no money at all.

My lovely siblings were sort of like this when we were much younger. We planned an anniversary celebration for our parents at a time when it was truly a toss up whether I could feed my children or pay the rent. Neither of them were particularly well off but they both had disposable income, so what they put towards it was 'spare' money, whereas I really struggled to find the money out of my very tight budget and it definitely meant doing without. Therefore I told them beforehand what I could put in, I did most of the actual work, finding addresses, designing invitations and sending them out, actually cooking and preparing my contributions etc. Then my siblings turned up and one of them informed me that they had ordered a cooked and prepared side of salmon, and the day after the party they let me know what my share of the cost was. I just burst into tears, there was no way I could spend any more and they genuinely couldn't understand that I just didn't have any more to give them. Needless to say I didn't pay, but it was over 20 years ago and I have never forgotten, despite now being relatively comfortable financially.

It is difficult to understand what you have never experienced.

No inheritance here, and I don't feel jealous of those who have received it. Ultimately you could say we have all won some kind of lottery by being born at this point in history and by living in this country.

I'm sympathetic towards the younger generations, the housing market is really screwing them over.

But the moaning and excuses made by people my age and older wear a bit thin (I was born in the mid 80s). If you are in good health then your current financial situation will be mostly due to the decisions you have made.

I was in debt throughout most of my 20s in part due to my crap childhood and being homeless, and in part by ending up in an abusive and violent relationship. I've made my choices in life and they have had an impact on my finances, that's on me. I've since made some really good decisions and I'm better off than most people I know, but I've made sacrifices that most of my friends haven't. Some of them have received inheritances and wasted all the opportunities that could have got them ahead.

I totally agree. I have shocked friends when I have said once I left school I earned every penny I have ever had. In nearly 40 years the only thing I have ever had from family was a portable TV as a present. Everything else has been earned.

Decades ago I had a boyfriend who didn't need to work because his parents had amassed a fortune in their lifetime and left it all to him and his siblings. We were mid-twenties. He had very little motivation to do anything and spent his days watching TV while I was at work. He ate in fancy restaurants, took taxis instead of public transport and went travelling on a whim. He absolutely could not relate to my situation - needing to work to pay rent and bills and put food on the table, having to budget each month, using public transport, having to choose the cheaper option all the time. He'd never had to do it. And he hadn't worked for a penny of the money he had. One day I was wondering out loud whether it was cheaper to renew my season ticket or not the next month as I was going to be on leave and might not be travelling on a daily basis. I was quietly talking to myself and not even addressing him. He very aggressively asked "What are you going on about?", so explained that I was working out what was best for my budget. He told me I was being ridiculous wasting time trying to weigh up the difference and asked me if no-one had ever told me it was rude to talk about money! I think I had touched a nerve by inadvertently pointing out to him how easy he had it. He had been raised being told not to talk about money precisely because there was plenty of it about and his parents were aware of a need to be discreet about this. I was very careful never to tell him how lucky he was being so well off, because I didn't think he was lucky to have lost his parents so young, or lucky to have no motivation to do anything because everything he needed was within easy reach. I have to say he was also generous to me. But he was a very good example of how out-of-touch some people can be and how utterly incapable they are of understanding how other people live. Also how they would rather not think about their good fortune because it makes them uncomfortable.

Many people think they have achieved their success through their own hard work - my brother for instance. However, he is not taking into account the fact that our parents had good work ethics, looked after us, encouraged us to do well, paid for him to go to a private school, then supported him through retaking his A levels and through university. This immediately gave him massive leg up, which he had totally discounted.

I do think beyond a certain point wealth loses meaning for a lot of people. I've heard being comfortably off tends to make people happier in an upward scale but then hits a saturation point. (I think it's quite high to be fair, I'll try and find the study.) So it seems a bit of a shame to me that having the surplus doesn't generally make a person any happier ...

However I totally agree with you that people who sneer at others for enjoying their wealth in the basis that "money isn't important" always seem to be people who are fairly comfortable themselves yet blind to their own privilege.

My mum has had a very middle class life, big house, worked part time out of interest not necessity always criticises people for any focus on money as "that is not what's important, money is not what matters blah blah". I always feel like saying if you were on the breadline you'd realise that actually money does matter very much! Huge riches won't guarantee happiness but poverty brings a lot of misery.

As my mother says "it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable but if you are going to be miserable it's easier to bear if you are rich"

& mental health also.

He didn't dodge anything. Technically, he didn't actually inherit the vast wealth he has. It's in a trust and has been for quite some time as far as I know. Well before he was old enough to know about it.

As it's in a discretionary trust, inheritance tax is payable every ten years (the ten year or principal charge). It is also payable should any assets ever be removed from the trust (the exit or proportionate charge). Inheritance tax is not payable on the death of a beneficiary, however. The principal charges act as a measure to smooth the payment of inheritance tax out over each decade, rather than being paid in a lump every 40 or so years when the previous generation dies.

It still gets paid. Just not when you die. Not a dodge.

Mental health issues, substance abuse issues, gambling problems, domestic violence, inability to manage money, etc etc, all problems for people who are disadvantaged. It's all very well to criticise poor life choices but when you live with problems like the above it's difficult to appreciate delayed gratification or have enough bandwith for education, career building, property ownership or stable relationships.

Good parental example and encouragement are a massive advantage in life.

There are plenty of well off people who are shit at managing money, but their wealth bales them out.

If it was such a hardship surely he would have donated half to charity years ago and be paying less tax on a smaller estate.

anyone who can survive on having half of their income taxed has more money than they need.If I paid 45% tax we would be starving and homeless.

the income disparity in much of the developed world is abysmally disgusting.

most lotto winners are miserable because they have no concept of immense Wealth or the skills and network that privilege brings in order to handle it effectively.

I’ve worked my bloody arse off since I was fourteen and made ‘good financial choices’. by all accounts ‘clawed my way to comfort’. By the time I’ve seen my parents through their old age and my kid through (hopefully uni) there won’t be anything left to pass on. The ship for creating integenerational wealth sailed many many moons ago.

What sort of "empathy" would you expect from someone who literally did it all himself? If anyone knows what's possible, it's him?

That everyone is different, has different circumstances, different intelligence level, experiences. It's so easy to forget about god contributing factors like friends, a person who believed in you, a chance meeting etc etc

I thought it was meant to be £50k when they did the study, it would be more now (and more again for London)

I know of a couple of lottery winners through friends. One drunk himself to death. The other made some “poor choices” (mainly choice of partner and treatment of family). Obviously didn’t make them any happier, but it certainly made their life easier. Personally I can’t imagine 61 million, the interest alone is shocking. Once I’d sorted myself and my family out I’d give it charity or build something useful.

I don't really understand those people who say 'money won't make you happy'. I agree it's usually those who already have 'enough'. It's not like the choice is really between being rich and miserable or poor but happy. Real life doesn't work that way.

And if I won £61 million on the lottery, we'll I reckon I'd be OK with that. We all hear about the lottery winners who's lives were turned upside down by it, but I think there's probably fair number now who've just been quietly living their lives and enjoying it without making exceptionally poor choices

My favourite is, “money doesn’t buy happiness”. Funnily enough, not a lot of poor people trot that one out.

It fucking does. it buys freedom. Freedom is happiness, or being depressed without worrying if you will starve.

It doesn’t buy good health, but it will buy you fantastic healthcare and not leave you with the worry of providing for your family.

Imo people aren't generally that good at imagining what it's like to be in situations they've never experienced. That's pretty normal, whether it's about wealth or any other aspect of life, and it probably applies to the worse-off as much as the better-off. If a poorer person would find it hard to imagine what it was like to be wealthy, why would it be any easier the other way around?