Inheritance vs working hard and never getting anywhere

[Anonymouseky]

I know people will probably pounce on me for feeling like this, but I need to vent. I’ve always been very supporting and happy for other people when good things happen to them, but I am starting to feel really resentful over something.

I work really hard and have a stressful job (teacher). I tried hard at school and have always given my best in everything I have done. I always imagined that one day my hard work would pay off and I would be able to afford a decent standard of living. That is unfortunately not the case. I am a single parent and have no family nearby to help with childcare, so the wages don’t go far. Their dad does contribute, but with the cost of living… well, I’m sure many of you can see what I mean.

I’ve never been a jealous or resentful person and haven’t compared myself to others. In fact, I’ve always been quite happy plodding on. However, in the last few years, I’ve started to feel a bit resentful as all of my closest friends have been given large sums of money/ inheritance from relatives (some of them multiple handouts). I’ve had lots of back handed compliments about my ‘little house’ and outright nasty ones about how crap modern houses are (mine is modern and was all I could afford at the time). They will openly brag about their large character properties and discuss how they can work reduced hours or not at all due to inheritance and partner’s income. One of my friends hasn’t worked for years and has just been gifted another several hundred thousand pounds so can now afford to buy several other houses. Meanwhile I can’t afford to buy one outright.

I work so bloody hard and never seem to catch a break. I’ve never been given anything monetary like my friends have. One day I may inherit but my father has decided to look after his long term partner first and foremost, so I may never actually inherit. It’s not about the money in that case, as if he spent it all enjoying his inheritance I would be understanding and supportive. Rather, it’s about feeling like an after thought/ not important/ not a priority/ etc.

Anyway, I just want to vent. I feel like I’m destined to slog my guts out, never receive a helping hand like my friends have, and have my nose rubbed in it in the process. I know life is unfair (believe me I know that acutely due to other life/ health events). Just seems unfair that I work the hardest out of all my friends (and I don’t say that lightly) and yet seem to have the hardest time.

I hear you, I feel the same. Hope things gets easier for us all soon

This is a rubbish argument, for one, for the most part it hasn't been taxed, it's growth in house prices, two, loads of things are taxed twice.
Sales tax
Council tax
Road tax
Air Passenger tax
Etc, etc, etc.
All these taxes are for the most part paid out of money people
have worked hard for and have that they have to spread increasingly thinly. IT
is a massive great windfall people have done absolutely nothing to earn and
they get hundreds of thousand before they have to pay a single penny of tax.

And? They paid tax on it. What about those who have purchased gold and paid no tax whatsoever on it including VAT? That’s increased significantly in value to.

This ‘needs to be taxed’ is just pure jealousy. I’m not going to inherit anything. And wouldn’t expect to, but I don’t begrudge anyone receiving gifts from family.

Yeah I think you need new friends. I’m truly surprised that you have so many with such enormous inheritances and that they all brag about it to you.

I don’t have a clue if any of my friends have received an inheritance. Probably some of them have as grandparents/parents have passed away but I’ve never asked and they’ve never offered the information. Some have much nicer houses than others but again, no idea who’s got mortgages or not. It’s not something that’s deliberately avoided but I don’t know anyone who discusses their finances so openly with people other than their partner.

This ‘needs to be taxed’ is just pure jealousy. I’m not going to inherit anything. And wouldn’t expect to, but I don’t begrudge anyone receiving gifts from family.

And you can’t acknowledge economic policy which has inflated assets & devalued wages may be an issue? I say this as someone who did get a leg up.

Right so you think a fairer system (that we pretty much have now anyway as under 5% od estates are big enough to pay IT) is that people who work long hard hours for their money pay more tax so that others who recieve a massive great windfall of free money, that they have done absolutly nothing to earn, should pay no tax on it?

Because I have to admit, I don't think that's fair. I also think big Lottery wins should be taxed as well btw.

There are lots of people who work long hard hours doing all types of jobs. Some people are
lucky and inherit some money and/or property that allows them to work less, but the majority of us won’t get anything. Unfortunately, in my opinion, that’s just life. No point getting all het up over it - just carry on with what you’re doing.

As for the Lottery, and these big property raffles, yes they should be taxed.

Is also like to know why those who earn larger sums (£100k +) seem to only pay 22% tax as both the PM and Labour Leader paid last year.

Is also like to know why those who earn larger sums (£100k +) seem to only pay 22% tax as both the PM and Labour Leader paid last year.

Because there income is not all PAYE & different sources has different rates.

The general opinion seems to be "If you work hard it pays off" no, it doesn't, as some people these days have more than one job and are still unable to make end meet.

And there are those who have never worked . . . just like the Queen consort, she "worked" as a temp occasionally, if that counts.

Is also like to know why those who earn larger sums (£100k +) seem to only pay 22% tax as both the PM and Labour Leader paid last year

I earn £100k plus. I pay c.62% tax on part of my income, my actual tax bill last year was £55k, I’ve been paying around that in tax every year for the last 5 years, I pay my way. Except that’s not enough apparently, once Labour get in. I’m going to pay an extra £9k a year on my kids school fees. I bloody wish I was paying 22% tax.

Interesting to read this because on my way home from work, in the rain I was thinking of several friends who are away on holiday for ht and thinking they are lucky.
Several haven't worked for 15-20 years since having kids, but are married to high earners.
Was that luck or a conscious choice? Some met at uni before their partners were earning £££, some had good jobs themselves so possibly mixed in circles where people are more likely to earn higher than average salaries....but you still need to be attracted to them!! (No idea about inheritance- most have parents that are still alive)
I enjoy my job and have a fairly comfortable lifestyle (with far fewer holidays!) ...but it's easy to sometimes feel a bit envious on a cold wet day seeing people on holiday....actually the thing I'm more envious about is the time to themselves or to spend with their kids and that's something DH and I are trying to prioritise (better work-life balance)

I think not enough people think about aiming for high paying jobs with their career. I’ve done that later in life and wish I had done it earlier. Because to a large degree higher paying jobs lead to a greater degree of autonomy and can be very interesting and mentally stimulating too.

I used to feel like op, then I helped my friend escape DV. She went from the stereotypical middle class life to living in a council house and working in supermarket. She is who I am jealous of. She’s beautiful, courageous and resilient. Even when she was going through her darkest days she still helped others.

You've got a decent career which will pay off eventually......it may not seem that way now but it will.

Surround yourself with better people, you don't need that sort of negativity dragging you down. Your life will be better for it.

I don't know...I understand why you feel that way but I don't think there is much point in dwelling on it. Life isn't fair. You should be proud of yourself as you have worked hard to get where you are. Focus on yourself and don't worry about what other people say or think. If your so-called friends have made those nasty comments, well I think it's time to find new friends.

Remember, money doesn't bring happiness. Don't become bitter, because all that brings is pain and unhappiness and makes you ugly!. If you are kind, respectful, work hard and live with integrity then happiness finds you.

But if we all thought like that we'd have no public sector!

Supply and demand. Public sector would have to pay more.

Or not! Seen the strikes lately?

I hear you OP. In our circle there are only a few couples who haven't benefited from handouts with the majority either recieving inheritance or pre-inheritance.

I generally don't let it bother me but when people start about how they work so hard so they deserve the niceties, I have to walk away.

That's not what I'm seeing - my public sector workplace is on the bones of its arse. It is utter chaos. The infrastructure is shit. The IT is shit. It is an absolute farce. There is no money!

The NHS IT that cost billions and made grabby charlatans rich 🤑

For me, yes id love a couple of bags of eg 7 million GBP's that said i do what i do, to help others, i may not be perfect, but at lest i can say hand on heart : i helped others

@Isitovernow123 with Sunak at least it's because £1.8m of his income was from a US investment and taxed at source there (no doubt a deliberate choice to avoid the UK's higher tax rates), and because capital gains, another significant portion of his income, are taxed at a much lower rate than income is. Similarly, Starmer's earnings was comprised predominantly of capital gains (from selling a plot of land), so again, only taxed at 20%.

As someone said up thread, our society is becoming an asset-based not an income-based society.

We should tax capital gains much more heavily.

But if we all thought like that we'd have no public sector

Cabinet ministers are public sector and earn £100K plus don’t they? Chris Whitty is public sector and earns £100k plus. CEO’s of LA’s also earn £100k plus. There is absolutely no reason that public sector workers can’t aspire for high salaries.

''You went into teaching. You were never going to make big bucks (I say this as a nurse who also will never be rolling in it)''

To be fair the vast majority of people at 17/18 when picking their 3rd level courses are not thinking of the salary of the jobs and even if they did they are way too young and naive to have any understanding of it. Most 18 year olds would think a salary of say 35k-40k is very good.