Do I tell DS's sons dad that his mum is moving schools in 2 days?

[Awaanbileyirheid]

Ds came home from school today crying as his best friend is moving schools on Monday. (They're 11).
Thing is, his dad has not consented to move and has joint custody.
BF lives 50/50 with mum in one town and dad in our town. They're from here, been at school here from nursery.
BF mum moved 20 mins away last year with new boyfriend. Just after his dad was awarded joint custody. Dad hasnt got a car so they've shared kid since but remained at school.
I get on with both parents but his dad makes more effort with kid as he sees at that age, kids want to do stuff with friends.
Mum thinks he's autistic (he's not diagnosed) and rarely allows play dates.
Today DS and BF crying as mum moving schools to her new town. All secret tho, he mustnt tell his dad.
Do I tell the dad? The poor kid is in pieces as is my DS.
Or is it none of my business? Keep gob shut and comfort kids?

cheers for tactic! easiest one!

I'm glad you did and I'm glad he already knows and it's being sorted.
Thanks for updating @Awaanbileyirheid

If you don't tell the dad, you are guilty as his ex wife of deceit and deception.

Think about it if it was your kid. I'm 100% certain you'd want to know.

If you speak to him I would say in a breezy way "oh I didn't know DS was moving schools, hope the boys stay in touch etc" I would act as if I assumed the Dad knew

likethislikethat and MumTeacherofMany

OP has spoken to the Dad, and he had already been made aware of the situation. OP (rightfully) didn’t ask anymore.

Agree totally! The fact that she has asked him to keep secret suggests that she knows she is doing the wrong thing. Clearly NOT doing the right thing for her son, unless this is a special school. It is, of course, possible that she is doing it, so that he is in the right catchment/feeder for better, more appropriate secondary school when they change in September BUT she should be discussing this

If he’s your friend I would tell him

The new school could be perfect for the child and you might mess that up by sticking your oar in. Try to reassure your son that you’ll do your best for him to stay in touch.

Read the updates 🙄

If he has joint custody the school should have obtained his consent

Why on earth would you think that this is any of your business? Neither the mother or father are close friends of yours, so keep your nose out and let people deal with their own lives without interference.

They move school in 2 days and dad doesn't know? Will you see the,dad this,week-end? Then I would "cry" or at least sport red and teary eyes, then he will maybe ask what's wrong and you,can come out with the news.

The dad knows now.

Bizarre that you'd fake cry in this situation and hope the dad would ask what was wrong, rather than just use words to express some sadness that the child was leaving.

Sometimes kids can get confused, but, at 11 a child is not stupid!

If this is true then it has parental alienation written all over it, the mother does realise that as the son gets older he won't forget what she has done and will end up resenting her and make his own mind up in due course!

I would play the innocent naivety card on this TBH and mention it to dad. I agree with other posters, if this was the dad looking to move him on the quiet there would be uproar.

Well done OP. Glad someone else had already showed concern for the child in this too.

I know. Sounds mad.

Courts do this all the time if parents are in dispute over schooling. If parents can’t agree, a judge will have to decide based on the child’s best interests.

God you sound nasty

@BigAnne who sounds nasty?

Who does?

@Awaanbileyirheid

Did he start a new school on Monday ?