For grandparents always to have child when on call

[Rachealreid]

The last 5 times my partners parents have requested to have my child overnight when my partner is on call.
I don't know if they know he is on call but as its been 5 times now I feel like it's taken the mick a bit. I am still waiting for my birthday get a way which was in may last year for turning 30.

They also don't take her March to October as its caravan season.

Aibu to tell them they are not getting her when he is on call and they can pick another one of the 3 weekends to take her. I want to be able to go away for the night when she's away not stuck in the house all the time.

Just to be clear she doesn't go stay anywhere else during the year so it is good when they take her but we can't do anything so to me there's no point her being away.

Quoting my own post here. Please can you answer the q which I, and many others have asked, as to why your DP can't just ask the IL's to have her on a different date?

You're being very selective about what you are addressing and it's not helping your cause.

This thread has really made me laugh. I've seen some odd posts on here before but OP's post is in a different league!! Posts in AIBU then flees when folk point out that yes she is being unreasonable!
One thing I am amazed at is that the grandparents only have their grandchild 4 times a year. I have my granddaughter almost every other weekend, part of half terms and for weeks in the summer holidays as both her parents work.

You sound like a lovely grandparent. Unfortunately though, a lot of us don't get any help at all. My mother has never had dd and she's almost 10... (only grandparent)

ciao 😂

That’s a big shame for you and your kids. Just because you don’t have any support it doesn’t mean the op is being entitled by wanting the small number of days she does have family support to be in circumstances where she will get a proper break. I really hope your family has a change of heart and lends you a hand one day.

this.

it seems so simple to me.

We work to pay tax for all the scroungers

Charming.

My children see my parents a lot as we live close by (in laws much less frequently because of distance) but I can count on the fingers of probably 2 hands the number of overnight stays they’ve had at either gps house in 14 years. It’s just not on offer. I don’t think we’re unusual…

OP I know you have probably left this thread but just to say, I know it can be awkward to ask IL’s for help / overnights on specific days. I feel guilty asking my IL’s for childcare but I’ve found over time that they do appreciate being asked with good notice about certain dates. They’re perhaps not realising they’re offering on tricky dates, could you perhaps ask them with a few months notice if they could have DD on a specific date and then plan something nice with DH?

Why are you being so rude? They probably wonder the same.

Blimey, I can see why they only invite the child

They are not mind readers!

If you want a night away, you suggest a night that works for you to them and ask if they can babysit. They say yes or no. It’s so simple, why the riddles! You are expecting that they have to magically know which days you want them to have her which isn’t going to work is it.

Mine sleep over at both sets of gps often, even if we don’t have plans- they love being spoiled! I don’t think we are unusual either, but it’s all relative isn’t it 😊

I’d assume they think they are making your life easier/ giving you the chance to have some alone, relaxing time if your partner is called in. If it’s an issue why don’t you say “actually, is there any chance you could do X weekend? We would love to have a night away.”

I think you are overthinking it, and have decided to be annoyed at them rather than contemplating that they are trying to help.

Ask your own parents to babysit?

Right so he can't go out on call past 4 pm so why can't you get in the car at 4pm, drive to a hotel, have dinner and stay over? Plenty of places you can get to it two hours

Are you always so defensive? I'm not understanding the issue here sorry.
You're in laws offer to have your daughter stay overnight a few times a year and they're ' taking the mick'?
Are you saying you'd like them to babysit on a night that's suits you and your partner? Why not just ask them?

This made me laugh! Well put, @thebabessavedme.

TBH, I lost any sympathy I might have had when I got to ‘we work to pay tax for all the scroungers’…

Yes absolutely.

My reply was in response to someone who expressed surprise at a gp only having their child to stay 4 times a year. I think, in this age of people becoming grandparents later in life than ever before, staying less frequently or not at all is more common.

If they do know anything about his schedule, maybe they’re avoiding the dates that he is free because they don’t want to interrupt family time, and don’t realise that maybe you’d prefer it the other way round.

As lots of others have said, you won’t know without a conversation - probably best coming from DP.

Cheerie Bye, then. 👋

The issue seems to be that your DP doesn't want to go out when he has work the next morning.

But I don't see why you can't go out with your mates and leave your DP at home on call?

OK so we are the crazy ones not you 🙈🤣🤣

5.30 ! Wow the school bus comes very early in your area .