For grandparents always to have child when on call

[Rachealreid]

The last 5 times my partners parents have requested to have my child overnight when my partner is on call.
I don't know if they know he is on call but as its been 5 times now I feel like it's taken the mick a bit. I am still waiting for my birthday get a way which was in may last year for turning 30.

They also don't take her March to October as its caravan season.

Aibu to tell them they are not getting her when he is on call and they can pick another one of the 3 weekends to take her. I want to be able to go away for the night when she's away not stuck in the house all the time.

Just to be clear she doesn't go stay anywhere else during the year so it is good when they take her but we can't do anything so to me there's no point her being away.

I think people are just trying to clarify some of what you’re saying.

its very confusing.

We offered to have dgc overnight this week and suggested a day that would be suitable for us. She responded to say she would prefer a different night if possible and we were able to sort out a night that suited all of us. But this required an adult conversation. I suggest you try it.

Why can't you do anything while your dd is away? Do you have friends you could meet?

YANBU - I think it is perfectly reasonable that if the grandparents want to have their GC to stay that it is on a night you can both enjoy a night out and a break/lie in too. Makes complete sense!

I don't know if they know he is on call but as its been 5 times now I feel like it's taken the mick a bit.

You don't know? YABU for this and managed to create drama in your head over it too. Surely you and your DH (or just your DH) just needs to have a straightforward conversation with them about coordinating things better. Maybe he gives them his on call rota and asks them to choose days when he is NOT on call to have your child over. If they object to that then something weird is going on with them.

Just ask if they can have child on a night partner isn't on call 🙄

This thread has been a scream!

OP: We’ve never asked if gp’s can have gc on an evening of our choice

ALMOST EVERYONE: So ask them if they’ll have her on an evening of your choice

OP: How dare you suggest this! This is why the world is so awful!

I'm here for the anythings.

Yanbu to prefer them to take dd on a more suitable date.

Your post comes accross with an attitude that they are doing something wrong particularly the caravan comment. Either it is coincidence or they think you won't be busy that night as dh on call so trying to be helpful/mindful of family time.

Either way "can dd come for a sleepover on Sat? " you reply "could she come next Sat instead?"

You’ve got a damn cheek accusing others of stupidity when you can barely string a sentence together. Did it ever occur to you that YOU are the problem? And YOU are the stupid one.

In your OP you said "I want to go away for the night when [DD] is away".
and
Aibu to tell them they are not getting her when he is on call and they can pick another one of the 3 weekends to take her.

If you are planning to go away for the night, presumably you would plan to do this when your DP wasn't working on Saturday morning? So you could equally go after 4pm on Friday after he finished being on call? it's the early start on Saturday that's the issue, not the being on call?

OP, on the off chance that you return to this thread, AIBU means 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' so one would assume you posted to be told whether or not you are being unreasonable.

You seem terribly angry that people think you are, in fact, being unreasonable. So what is the point of your thread? (or, for that matter, your irrelevant comments about 'scroungers', which leads me to think you're terribly angry about a lot of other things besides whether the timing of your free childcare happens to suit you.)

Even if you weren't BU, there is a way to talk to people who have taken a moment out of their day to give you their opinion, and your way isn't it.

U ok hun? Dm me 2 mny sneks around ere

"Sorry, the 21st doesn't work for us. How about the 28th?"

I literally don't understand what is difficult about the above sentence. But then I'm not the OP who seems unable to form a coherent sentence, so what do I know?

It must be exhausting to be so angry over absolutely nothing.

Maybe they think they are being kind ? Offering you a night of peace without anyone else around so you can have some "you" time?
Just suggest some other days next time they offer/ask

You really are making it more difficult for yourself as (most) pp have said just ask. This weekend isn't good for us mil how about next week and me and Dh can make the most of it too. Thanks. Your in-laws are not mind readers if you don't say anything nothing will change.
If you do ask please talk to them better than you are people here you are not coming across well at all.

This

If what you are saying is "I wish they'd offer to have DC overnight on Saturdays" why not say so? It would make your point so much clearer and avoid the frustration you seem to be feeling with other posters.

You still haven't explained why you can't just ask them

You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, OP.

I'm sure it would be different if we never had jobs but we do we work to pay tax for all the scroungers .

Do you take advantage of the NHS, state schools and academies, maintained roads, rubbish collections, draining and sewage facilities, etc etc? If so, you are paying taxes for yourselves, not anyone else.

So he finishes at 6pm, you could be eating dinner somewhere at 6.30pm, drinks by 8pm, home at 9pm, shag, sleep by 10 and he'd still be getting 7.5 hours sleep for work then next day.

I'd be made up with a night of childcare and that much sleep tbh.

Poor in laws, don't think I'd be offering at all with OPs attitude.

Sorry I gave up at 'discatate'

Oh dear, you really do like to make an excuse, don't you, OP?

Many people don't finish work until 18:00, and are then back up at 05.30. That's just life.
For example, I left the office at 19.00 last night, home by 19.45 - and was up at 05.00 this morning, to do it all again. However, I do leave the house/do an activity in the evening (shock horror!) Last night I went swimming, and tonight I'm going to see a friend for a coffee. See how easy it is to do something after work, even when you're working the next day?

Anyway, let your ILs take your little one overnight, and either go out for an early meal, at 18.30, for example - or have a movie night at home. It doesn't have to be a big blowout!

As someone who never had a night with grandparents (only had one, and he lived two hours away), unless we all went to visit. I think I was 7 or 8 before there was a night when both parents were away for a weekend/wedding/something; I don't think that was out of the ordinary. I'd say that if you want a specific weekend covered, you ask directly. Then complain if they say no.....

If you are as rude and inarticulate with your inlaws as you are here, it might explain a lot.