To not "get" the requirement for alcohol to have a proper celebration

[MrsCulpepper]

I'm in the process of organising a meal for my birthday and considering a nice restaurant that's around 15 minutes drive away. I suggested it to others and was met without enthusiasm and "but some people won't be able to drink then".

I've never really felt that I "needed" a glass of wine or something else alcoholic after a tough day. I like it, and have a glass of wine or a beer or a gin and tonic when I'm out or visiting someone if they offer, but we don't generally have alcohol at home (perhaps in part because the expense).

When I was pregnant, I didn't miss drinking at all. It seemed to make people very uncomfortable though that I was "only" drinking water and they would fall over themselves to think of options they could offer. One friend of my husband's was really pushy about a small glass of wine, assuring me that it was absolutely fine to have while pregnant and his wife is a gynecologist so he knows what he's talking about. I had to say no 5 or 6 times!

I admire the PR that sparkling wine companies have done on their product so prosecco at the very least has to be budgeted for my party. And a taxi will be required too I suppose.

AIBU to consider a restaurant that would require a short drive? Is alcohol such a necessity for a party to be good?

You might not be bothered having a drink with your meal but it seems your friends are, so book somewhere handier or accept that less people will want to go. You don't get it, but half of the world doesn't understand the pleasures of the other half, if i may misquote Jane Austen.

The limit is lower in Scotland, yes, but even then one glass is extremely unlikely to take an adult over that limit

the advice is that the 50 mg limit affects everyone in different ways and that yes, a single drink may put you over the limit. Everyone I know in Scotland abstains completely if they are going to be driving.

Why can't they get taxis

Why don’t you offer to drive some people who want a drink?

If I was going out with a vegan friend to celebrate their birthday, I’d be perfectly happy with a vegan restaurant. Wouldn’t be my first choice but it’s their celebration, not mine.

I feel the same about alcohol tbh. Anyone who’d turn down an invite because practicalities mean they can’t have a drink with one meal doesn’t seem like much of a friend.

I don't understand it either.
There's plenty of non alcoholic drinks that aren't diet coke or orange juice 🙄

It wouldn't be an issue in my circle - it's fairly normal not to drink alcohol. But we also use public transport or Ubers a lot as we're in London so the driving issue wouldn't come up either.

I can't believe you are encouraging drink driving.

It is best to have none.

I don't want to pay for dinner and not have a glass of wine. That's not getting drunk, it is having a glass with a meal. But I will not drive.

You could say why bother going somewhere nice for dinner, let's just go to pizza hut, after all why would someone enjoy a meal in a restaurant, it is all food.

Since when does a venue being a 15-minute drive away mean no drinking? Are these people accustomed to going out for dinner & drinks on foot?

Like what, that doesn't have sweetener in and isn't sweet or fizzy?

I drink only drink coffee, water and wine, I don't believe there is any substitute for those three things.

Of course I would go and drink water, but is going to cost me a minimum of £50, I'd rather a glass of wine.

This. You sound rather superior OP.
I would drive / get a taxi / lift to a restaurant 15 minutes away.
I'd prefer to have a glass of wine than not, if I couldn't so be it.

I would be happy with a vegan restaurant too but I know lots of my friends and family would want meat or fish so I wouldn't choose a vegan restaurant if I wanted them to be there.

On the alcohol front I can go for a meal and not drink but I wouldn't choose somewhere where people had to drive - luckily I'm in London so not an issue.

I would choose somewhere where my friends and family wanted to go would enjoy. Their company would be the most important thing to me.

Never heard of anyone not wanting to drive to a Restaurant 15 mins away! I mean unless you live in town how would you find anywhere nearer? Surely a designated driver or taxi?

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints I will confess I don't know if drinks like Shlur (spelling?) or J20 have sweeteners in.
There are other juices than just orange though !
As I said - I simply don't understand it.
Why can't you have coffee with your meal if you like coffee?

Drinking has been associated with celebrations for thousands of years.

You've just started a goady thread to show off how superior you are by not drinking.

I think many people, myself included see a >good quality < glass of wine as part of a good meal experience and that's ok. I may have a second but not always. And I'd rather go without than drink cheap sulphate filled crap.

But equally good d be happy to drive and not drink too.

What I don't get is when some people drink gallons of fizzy pop with their food and coat their tastebuds in crap. Yuck.

But we're all different I guess

Forgot to add ... especially fizzy pop at breakfast.

Depends where you live

Not allowed in Scotland

I agree. I'm in Scotland. Don't know anyone who would drink any alcohol before driving

I am sober, but I do think that most people would like the option of having an alcoholic drink with dinner and I think that's okay. I can say that even as a recovering alcoholic who is pretty put off by alcohol and drunk people. I think it's reasonable that people wouldn't want to risk drink driving.

If there are enough of you who are happy to forgo a drink, can you organise to drive the ones who do want to drink? Or organise a group taxi together so you keep the cost low for everyone? Given I was the resident drunk for many years who had to rely on others to drive me places so I could drink, I'm very happy to be the one who does the driving now. I would imagine if there are enough of you who wouldn't be bothered about a drink, you could make it work for everyone.

Was just thinking this. Is it a young group I wonder? Taking turns to drive or booking a taxi is part of going out for a grown up meal.

And enjoying a glass of wine with a good meal and good company doesn't equal getting drink or alcoholism.

Why can people not just get a taxi?! We live at least 10-15 miles away from all our family and friends so for any meal or celebration we either drive if we're not bothered about drinking or get a taxi.. It's only 15 mins away FFS?! Do they all want to go somewhere in walking distance or something?! I can't understand why the options are drive or not go?!

Alcohol is a social lubricant and many people are in the habit of needing a drink to relax and be able to chat freely. It is what it is. They could get a taxi to the restaurant but then it's an extra expense.

I did a year sober and it was a drag socially, but I did lose half a stone in a couple of months even though I didn't do anything else differently.