Child reins acceptable in this circumstance?

[Vipoli]

5 yo twins and a 4 yo. Twins are IVF after 5 years of infertility. Are reins acceptable? Parents have a serious case of PFB but with all three.

One parent often walks from house to small town precinct. Too close for car plus poor parking.

No too old just teach them to walk close and hold hands, I used them when mine were small and I had one in a buggy but at 4 and 5 they need to learn to stay close and hold hands perhaps a wrist strap if they are prone to darting off but surely they are all at school?

They seem a little old for reins but given there's three of them, if they're all inclined to run off at the same time and they're walking by the road, it may be reasonable. I'm sure the parents know their kids best.

MYOB. Nothing wrong with reins.

I don't see how ivf or infertility affects this. Seems pretty old. They need to learn to hold hands. My 4 year old only has to hold my hand to cross busy roads or in crowds as he's gradually earned trust since being about 18 months Reins won't help that at all

I think if the children are still prone to bolting then reins are necessary, especially as there are 3 of them. However, if they can follow instructions to walk, stop etc. then I'd be wondering why they can't walk sensibly without the reins. The majority of 5 year olds don't need them, although it does depend on the children.

I don't know what the IVF has anything to do with anything. My view is i'd rather my child is alive than do what's "acceptable" to a bunch of random strangers. it's hard to control 3 kids alone so if it makes them safer go for it

Given there’s three and it’s impossible to hold all their hands I’d say definitely yes. Better to be safe than sorry, particularly near roads or in car parks.

But if this is the only way this parent (mother I'm assuming) can get out the house better reins than being stuck in the house.

I think there’s nothing wrong with reins generally, I don’t understand the hatred for them when they give children freedom while remaining safe.

I think your children seem old for them, so I think it depends on if you’re using them because they are liable to dash off or if it’s based on your own anxiety and they are actually able to walk sensibly.

The parents know them best. If they are needed to keep them from running into the road, then they're needed. We used them until about 2 with ds as he was a runner. Dd has always been sensible and never needed them.

If they are liable to bolt and its the only way the parent can keep them safe... then it's a safety measure.

If they are wearing them as the parent has never got past that stage, despite the fact they are capable of walking nicely... then they are being over protectively damaging.

I think OP mentioned IVF to stop the whole "if you couldn't handle it you shouldn't have had them so close together" comments.

Kids are well behaved enough. Don’t tend to dart.

Main road to precinct is busy - a person has died on one of the crossing spots in the past.

Parents list James Bulger as a reason for reins in addition to busy road.

5 seems a little old for reins unless there are special needs involved.

However, most 5yos don't need reins because the groundwork has been done since the child could walk. Mine still had to hold hands to cross the road even when on reins. They were encouraged to hold the buggy handle when the younger sibling was being pushed when in busy areas. They were taught to 'stop' when told etc. If this has not been done previously, then I can understand with 3 kids, reins might be the difference between life or death. That is the decision for the parent to make.

Why on earth do you think this is anyone’s business but your own? My DS has a backpack with reins to keep him safe. He is prone to running off. I really couldn’t give a damn if some random doesn’t like reins. My son’s safety is paramount. Care less about others’ opinions when it comes to the safety of your children would be my advice.

Why are you asking? Is it to get MNers to have a pop at someone you dislike?

Generally ( in my younger days) i thought reigns were lazy/unacceptable but as ive got older i realize that whilst that may be the case for some parents generally its just parents wanting to ensure total safety for their children and really there is nothing to judge about that.

If it's to keep them safe then keep your beak out. Not your kids, not your place to judge.

It must be hard enough work juggling 3 small children without nosy folk poking their oar in.

This.

I can imagine that trying to manage three young children crossing busy roads is very difficult. I used reins on mine until he was probably almost 4 as he was a bolter - I couldn’t care less if someone thought it strange. My child’s safety matters more.

If you’re the parent, don’t worry, use the reins.

If you’re a grandparent, neighbour, other parent at school - it’s none of your business.

Absolutely nothing wrong with reins …l really don’t understand why MN so against them . Safety comes first at all times !

Reins definitely needed because of IVF. Children conceived without are dispensable. 🙄

I have no objection to reins generally. 5yr old does seem old though. That's reception/ yr 1 age.

My dc had been on loads of school outings by then where they had to walk in a line with a partner, on nature walks and into town.
So they should be well old enough to walk sensibly by that age.

It is better to be safe than sorry though I suppose so it's up to the parent what they are comfortable with.

I’ve just seen that you’re not the parent.

Its none of your business. Complacency can cost lives. I pushed back hard at any comments that I was overprotective, from whoever they came from.

I mentioned IVF to explain I think there is a psychological element to the overprotectiveness.