Child reins acceptable in this circumstance?

[Vipoli]

5 yo twins and a 4 yo. Twins are IVF after 5 years of infertility. Are reins acceptable? Parents have a serious case of PFB but with all three.

One parent often walks from house to small town precinct. Too close for car plus poor parking.

This is about more than the reins. Imho, I think they’re too old for them, I’d be a bit 😕 at seeing children 4 and over wearing them, they are designed for toddlers let’s be honest. Plus citing what happened to poor James is odd as unless they are much older parents that was 31 years ago (almost to the day) and were they even born then? Are they going to use reins at 5, 6, 7….surely not.

I don't see an issue with it. I had 3 under 3.6 and with SN. I needed every strategy I could think of to ensure their safety.

Reins are only really noticiable when there's a thrashing bolting child on the end.

It's not the age of the child alone though, is it, it's the age multiplied by the number of children. Look at nursery children walking along holding hands (or a walking rope) in high vis vests. Alone, they won't need to do that, but for larger numbers you make a different risk assessment.

So much this. We were in that very unusual situation (IVF twins then we conceived naturally after the doctor explicitly confirmed this was not possible). 3 under 18 months is brutal and was is still harder than we could ever have imagined 3 years later, with 4yo twins and a three year old. Reins are, in circumstances like this, a bloody good idea.

The feelings of stress and fear their parents were giving off are real as you need to be hyper vigilant to a level I had never believed possible before.

I'm sorry you felt self conscious. For the love of Christ you have absolutely no idea.

Reins are brilliant, perfect for toddlers or children with SN.
But personally I think 5yr old school children on reins is ridiculous. It's not healthy and certainly not teaching them to be safe, or manage risk when they're not attached to mammy.

Reins are not needed imo. I know my SIL’s sister recently used public transport (tubes and buses) for a day out with the kids and there was no issue.

They often get taken out by family members precisely because they listen and are well behaved. Ie people without unhealthy safety anxiety.

Someone walking a single 5 year old child to schools in reins is less common, but can in extreme cases still be needed. This isn't the case here, there are 2, as well as a 3 year old. Different circumstances. Reins, in this case, are very appropriate.

Of course she won’t use them at the zoo, they’re pedestrianised and the kids aren’t in any danger if they step out.

You sound like you’re more embarrassed than concerned, but the most judgmental person is you. So I’d just leave it.

What on earth is wrong with reins?

It’s nobody’s business but the parents’. Better wearing reins than killed on the road.

Unless sen it unusual to use them past 4, and I'm a fan for toddlers. I wish people here would use them as there's so much water!

Why have you started a thread on it when you're only wanting to hear that they are overprotective? Lots of people have given examples of reins being useful at that age.

I used them with my daughter when she was small but not after 4. She is a bolter. She is 5 now and was holding my hand as we waited at lights and suddenly she tried to run out into the road. Her dad and I caught her by the hood of her jacket. When we asked what the hell, the little man is red. She said she forgot and saw the green disk and it was time to cross. They are not reliable, they forget, they see something and zone out. I had one, but she has 3, good on her she doesnt give a damn what others think. Alive children are more important than opinions.

It just takes one lapse of judgement for a tragic accident to happen. No matter how well-behaved a young child is, you have to be constantly vigilant in dangerous situations. Perhaps they're too tired always to be sufficiently on the ball?

Anyway, they're not doing too badly if they have three very well-behaved young children. Even at 4, my DC was still having the occasional tantrum and would run off now and then and I'd have to chase after them.

Given what you say op , reins seem unnecessary but not sure theres anything u can do about it. Given their age and behaviour maybe not even suggesting but raising how they teach them road skills etc might be a way in as theyre hardly learning anything re stopping etc if on reins always. Otoh, their aunt appears to take them out around the place with no reins so thats good.

Do they use them going in and out of school and when they've friends over?

Reins are fantastic for toddlers or preschoolers - but 5 year olds with no SEN? How many people on this thread would consider putting their 5 year old in reins? It just wouldn't happen so I don't know why people are being so funny with the OP.

SIL sounds like she has major issues with anxiety and it's quite possible that that is/will impact the children.

The twins are 5. They know the 2 times table! I think if you can do multiplication you’re too old for reins!!

It's unusual if they're well behaved and wouldn't run off. However having 3 so close together must be overwhelming at times. If I saw them out and about I certainly wouldn't be judging.

You sound quite nasty op.

So? You're not their parent. Reins are useful, reins are safe, reins are fine.

Why do people have issues with reins? If I am walking along a road with my young child then he wears reins for his safety. Yes I can hold his hands but this is additional care as we live near a busy road

A substantial proportion of people agree with me that frankly it’s silly

Questions.

Do you have kids?

If you don't see them a lot how do you know the kids don't bolt?

The only potential concern is wrist reins can interfere with learning balance, and a child learning to put their arms out if they fall or need to steady themselves.

Reins attached on their back/ backpack/ harness - absolutely fine.

Maybe they're adjusting? I'm sure they won't be using reins when the kids are 10. Sometimes it takes time to build up your confidence that your kids can actually do something and that they will be safe even if allowed slightly more freedom.

I imagine the last few years have been an exercise in containment for them. One of my friends has triplets and described the early years as "moving them in a controlled way from one safe container to another". I imagine it takes a while to snap out of that mindset.

It's fine. Do what you think is right. I had 3 little ones with a year and a bit between each. Going out anywhere was a nightmare. Ignore the snotty comments on here. Better a reigned child than a dead or abducted one