Child reins acceptable in this circumstance?

[Vipoli]

5 yo twins and a 4 yo. Twins are IVF after 5 years of infertility. Are reins acceptable? Parents have a serious case of PFB but with all three.

One parent often walks from house to small town precinct. Too close for car plus poor parking.

I don't think they're too old. My eldest loved the reins and would ask to wear them, because she loved the feeling of independence without the risks.

It's better to have the reins on slightly too old than have a 5yo under a car, and with 3, there isn't a hand each.

I agree. Last year, I went on a school trip with my then 5 year old. 4-5 children per adult walking to a bus stop and then into central London. No reins!

I used reins on all mine, every time we went out of the house. They were put on before we left and not taken off again until we got back inside.
I stopped using them when they started school.
Call me what you want, but at least my kids were safe.

They probably don't bolt as they're on reins. Parent is keeping children safe, MYOB!

I did too, my God, mine was a professional bolter!

Maybe just concentrate on your own children instead of trying to humiliate your sister in law on the internet.

Christ you seem a judgemental busy body. Hopefully your SIL and brother will distance themselves from you quickly.

I think its totally up to her, and can imagine how tricky it to constantly keep an eye in public on numerous young kids. It was one of my main factors in deciding not to use a childminder after seeing them out and about on the road and in the shopping centre.
If it makes her feel better and keeps the kids safe for now, theres no harm. Not like shes gonna have them on them when they are 10.

I had twins that were unreliable and bolted at every opportunity (John Lewis in the china section was...not fun) and a third who was much more biddable in this regard.

I also lived next to a main road and we walked everywhere. We stopped using reins around 3 and a half ish I think. 5 is way too old, and I'm normally the person that says use them!

What happens when they twins go on a school trip. The school won't put reins on them, they'll have to hold hands with another child and do as they're told.

If the twins are five then presumably they HAVE started school.

What’s PFB?

Get reigns if you need them! I don’t get why anyone would care. Anyone decent would be understanding. It’s what they often do in nursery walks when they have loads of small ones!

Children are different at school. Teachers are marvels at securing a degree of compliance that many parents could only dream of. Children are part of a pack and tend to follow pack rules. I do think 4/5 is on the old side, but I don't necessarily agree with the "they won't wear them at school/on school trips" argument. School trips are heavily risk-assessed anyway.

Why does it bother you so much? 5 is older than average but if I saw a kid that age with them I'd assume there's a reason

If they can't behave then of course they're not too old for reigns. Safety first, always

Reins are fine I used them but for under school age children, well under play school age actually. Kids older than that need to hold parent one each side and one on to other eldest hand. All in a line at all crossings. Very easy to do if parent and children do it every single time.

For one parent to use reins on younger children under threes yes. But now I see its reins whilst there was another adult, ie you, to hold child’s hand. So no definitely not ok in that case. Very strange imho.

6% isn't 'substantial'. It's only 8 individuals, one of whom is presumably you.

I think once kids have started school then using reins for a well behaved child is very odd. But then people’s attitude to safety and risk can really vary. DD has a friend whose parents were super cautious and did things like you’ve mentioned. It was noticed and commented about amongst the other mums and the general consensus seemed to be that it could really backfire later down the line. They’re just hitting the teenage years so …

Going through town just now I've seen parents holding the hands of children up to the age of 8/9 very tightly at busy junctions. I can see why the parents might be spooked if not enough hands.

I can’t imagine why you care? It’s none of your business, and all your replies in this thread make you seem both weirdly defensive and overinvested in how your brother and his wife parent their children.

I’m a twin mum with a singleton and all 3 are close in age — if reins help navigate a busy road with 3 kids, l see no reason why the mum in question shouldn’t use them. I certainly wouldn’t give a toss if my sister in law looked down on me for it.

I think it’s none of your business. Your SIL is doing something that she feels keeps her children safe. It is not down to you to criticise her.

I feel sorry for the twins to be honest. but I am someone who hates reins and never used them. (I had 4 under 5years old for context).
But at 5 years old, they must feel really crap being led about on reins Can't imagine thats doing much for their independence and feeling of self worth.
Its like they are being told, we know you are well behaved and won't run off but we still don't trust you anyway so am going to put you on this lead.
Poor little buggers.
I mean if they had form for bolting off or not doing what they are asked then I good almost slightly see it, but to put well behaved 5 year old on a lead is actually pretty cruel.

It’s really none of your business.

What even is this?
If you want to put reins on any of your children then do it.
Yes people will think 5 is old and what?? I think 5 is fine to go somewhere busy to have reins on. A nice outdoor walk with open space I'd allow more freedom but not with other children and through a town / near roads.
We do what we have to and anyone that judges anyone for keeping their child/ren safe need to have a long hard look at themselves and get in the real world.....

As for parents who care for other people's opinions on if it's OK to keep their children safe.... they need to have a longer & harder look at and word with themselves.