Child reins acceptable in this circumstance?

[Vipoli]

5 yo twins and a 4 yo. Twins are IVF after 5 years of infertility. Are reins acceptable? Parents have a serious case of PFB but with all three.

One parent often walks from house to small town precinct. Too close for car plus poor parking.

It's not my kid (or yours apparently!) So it's up to the parent. I didnt use reins that late but as parents we just need to get thru the day/get our shopping or whatever without losing our minds, if reins help with that, then great

I had reins because I ran off once as a 2 year old just like my DS come to think of it and no one could find me

Luckily a random stranger said he'd seen a motorbike further up or down the hill and there I was happily sitting on it

YABVU for the reason alone that your post implies that children born through IVF are in some way less precious than those who are

I think reins are fine in this situation - your SIL knows her children and the local area best.

She would be judged if the children were in a buggy, judged if she used a car for short distances, judged if one of them bolted and got hurt, judged if one of the other chilldren was in danger whilst she went after the bolter, judged if she kept them all indoors all day and she's judged for using reins. Sounds to me like she's trying to do her best.

Pretty sure OP means the exact opposite of this

IVF = more precious to her

Ah, motherhood.

The IVF was only mentioned as the parents behaviour seems to be guided by fear and anxiety.

You do whatever it takes to make sure your children are safe and ignore the nosy buggers who think they have a right to judge.

So this is about you feeling embarrassed, not about anything else?

To cite kidnapping as one of the main reasons for the use of reins seems unhealthy

Is there any harm beyond your embarrassment?

None of your business. I’m sure she has plenty to say about you too.

Who cares if you're self conscious 🤷‍♀️

Clearly the kids have the correct training and manners for their age. So using reins for an additional parenting tool in busy spaces to give parent confidence to take them all out is frankly none of your business. We all use different tools to get through the day and what feels reasonable to one might not be an issue for others.

i think you are being unreasonable to be embarrassed by what strangers might think instead of just accepting different parents make different decisions for their children. Yeah their worst fear most likely will not happen, but if it helps them sleep at night so what?! Also I’m sure that the parents of kids involved in the unspeakables wish they had been more ‘over protective’.

Always acceptable

You were self conscious because another parent was doing what they feel is best to keep their kids safe?
Why?
What does it have to do with you?
Plenty may say they're old enough etc but all it takes is one second for one child to fall / get distracted / see a cute dog / drop an ice cream.... whatever. If reins keeps them safe that's all there is to it.

I think for those saying hold the hand of a child - this can be quite challenging for a tall parent and a small child. Dh found it very uncomfortable to walk holding dd's hand for any distance as it meant he had to stoop slightly which hurt his back so the backpack type reins were easier.

Tbh the embarrassment just highlighted how unusual a sight it is. I’m more concerned about parenting based on fear and anxiety. Ie seeing threats where there are none.

Tbh my brother is not much better as has odd rules when he takes them out. E.g. when the kids are taken for walks along the river my brother will give them boundaries which they can not go over. The boundaries can be a good 10 metres from the river!

There is also a weir the children like but brother refuses to walk over it. Despite it being completely fenced off. Would be close to impossible for anything to happen. No bonfires etc.

Reins are acceptable for any reason.
I do not understand why some people act like they're a bad thing. They're a safety thing.

Theres 15 months between my kids and they are both autistic. when they were little you bet your arse I used reins. Safety first.

What's that got to do with the IVF?

Got to love coming on to Mumsnet for a daily post lunch giggle at somebodies daftness. Yesterday it was the one about whether you could get a double buggy to fit in an overhead locker on a plane. Today a five year old on baby reins.

Nice to check in and believe I'm not going quite as barmy as some people in the world. 😂

Still none of your business.

To be honest I have nothing against rains (although mine had one of those little backpacks, they enjoyed carrying their own snak or water bottle in), even at that age as some children are prone to running off. Also with 3 little ones if they run in different directions your stuffed. I had a friend with twins she said they where estial for her as it would be a choice of which child would you save?

My mum had me in reins at 5yo
because I have 3 younger siblings.

it’s completely fine.

I used reins with my kids.

more people should. It makes my blood run cold seeing toddlers loose by roads, often very out of control.

Is it unhealthy to put an older child in a car seat because of the very small risk of a bad car accident?

Have you heard of James Bulger? I don’t like bringing terrible tragedies into discussions as it seems disrespectful to the family, but there are people who will kidnap children.

There are also plenty of cases of children who wander off who are found safe and well as kind people have looked after them and alerted the staff. - but the parents have been through hell before they’re returned. I found a 3 year old who had wandered off in a theme park. His parents were frantic for ten minutes until he was returned. I have never seen a parent in a worse state. If he’d been in reins it wouldn’t have happened. That’s what she said when she thanked us. We bumped into the family an hour later and she’d put him in reins.