Child reins acceptable in this circumstance?

[Vipoli]

5 yo twins and a 4 yo. Twins are IVF after 5 years of infertility. Are reins acceptable? Parents have a serious case of PFB but with all three.

One parent often walks from house to small town precinct. Too close for car plus poor parking.

5 seems a little old for reins, but if a child’s been a bolter or has form for getting easily distracted near roads, then I can see why a parent would still be using reins. Especially when she’s got more children than hands.

So if your SIL feels this is necessary to keep her DC safe for now then so be it. They’re not going to be in reins forever.

And in terms of being too old for reins, a child knowing the 2 times tables isn’t nearly as important as that child’s road awareness and general behaviour. Being good at maths isn’t the same as having common sense and a good sense of self preservation.

meh dont know why anyone cares what anyone else does tbh

That's too old for them surely. You might get some strange looks.

A lead goes on a dog, reins are a sensible option for a child. They are not being "led" by a lead, I would assume they're leading and the reins are a sensible safety net!

Your analogy is just ridiculous and very dramatic!

Unless there is SEN or they have a history of running I think it's to old. I used reigns for all my 3 kids but 5 is school age. Other kids will laugh at them if they are walking to school in reigns. An important part of being a parent is keeping them safe and that involves teaching them how to walk properly beside you, cross roads, hold hands etc.

I’m a strong advocate for reins, used the proper harness ones with my twins who used them until about 3.5, despite putting up with lots of stupid comments from strangers about me treating them like dogs. It was a nightmare too as one was a tortoise and one a hare!

The 4 year old I could just about understand still being in them while herding two slightly older DC, but 5 year olds who are at school without any SN is pretty ridiculous.

Do they wear them on the walk to and from school? Have teachers seen them in them, other DC from school see them on their walks around town? Very embarrassing.

I think I’d be questioning how long the parents are planning to continue it, 6, 7, 8 years? but there’s not much you can do about it if they feel it’s right.

All these people saying myob, I bet they’d all think ‘how odd’ if the Mum pitched up at the School gate with her 4 and 5 year olds on reins.

They’ll deny it here of course.

Because it's not the case! I'm not interested in another parent's use of reins, why can't you understand that I'm different to you?

I live right by a primary school. Not once have I ever seen any child in reins.

If I did see one, I would assume it was a child with SN.

If these children are taken to school with their reins on, it does feel like singling them out from their peers in a way that is harmful

I'm not sure that reins for these children will be doing anything to alleviate the perceived dangers. They need to be taught road sense, to listen to instructions and hold hands when told to. If they're doing all that then they're learning skills which will protect them.

Nothing wrong with reins. They'll soon be old enough to tell her no anyway. Three little kids close in age, it's probably just a habit they haven't felt the need to break. If I had 3 of my DS4 I'd need them on reins (and probably muzzled too).

I'm a fan of reins for toddlers, if they are needed. One of my DCs needed them. I think your 3 DCs are a bit old for them (barring any SEN) By 5 the kids are walking in pairs to go to church at our local primary. Full classes with one teacher and a TA. Unless there's SEN, one adult can handle 3 kids at them ages.

Well ok, but a lead is used to stop the dog running off, no?
And yes a sensible solution for a child. A child that either has form for bolting off or a very young child who is too young to understand why bolting into a road would not be a great idea!
5 year olds who walk sensibly, no history of bolting and no additional needs is just harmful i'd of thought.
Each to their own but OP asked opinions. And in my opinion putting these particular children, as have been described by OP, in baby reins is nuts. They will get totally ridiculed at school! So yes, harmful to them. Their parent is doing it to 'keep them safe'. But is actually doing the opposite.
A 5 year old is perfectly old enough to be told to hold a hand, even the hand of their sibling if 3 kids and 1 parent, and to be told and understand the dangers of why they must not run into the road.

If they are not being taught road sense at all and just stuck on a lead (yes, thats what it effectively is in this situation) then how is that good for these children?

My response isn't dramatic at all. I am all for keeping children safe, obviously, who isn't? But theres safe and then theres crossing into paranoid, which results in low self esteem of the child with them thinking they can't do anything or be trusted. Its harming.

REINS
REINS
REINS
REINS
not reigns.

That is all thank you.

(to no one in particular)