I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

If you are looking to develop your career still do the first one.

If you are close to retirement or looking to wind down or get a more chilled lifestyle do the second.

The more snr role: It may not equate to more money in your pocket right now as the extra commute will eat your payrise, but would it be a step towards further progress in your career? What’s the next step after it? If it’ll see you on the way to 70k within a couple of years, then I’d go for it.

Taking a step back will not open up further opportunities - although, this may be where you’re at in life, I know career progress isn’t everyone’s aim. If you’re wanting to chill for a few years, I’d go for that option.

commute to 50 half an hr each way- but I’ve yet to do it at rush hr, but it’s a 1/3 of the distance

That's nothing. The 50k job is better overall unless you're actively looking to retrench, hang out at home and do a junior role.

Not really, I’ve tried and I’m just worried I’ll piss someone off, worried I’ll turn one down and the other will fall through etc. Fingers massively burned in my old job, I can’t describe how little dignity and respect I was treated with (well a whole host of us were treated with )

Oh I've just seen your update about the distances.

That's a lot of travelling to be doing in one day. Ninety minutes each way could easily turn into four or five hours in the car.

I’m early 30s, 2 young kiddos definitely looking to develop

From a pure logic perspective, take the senior job. Any job can be asked to go back to the office at any time, so that aspect could all change in a heartbeat. In my experience, post pandemic, and whether they admit it or not, most people are more productive in the office. It's better for their mental health as they have a clear demarcation to the beginning and end of the working day. It will be better for your career in the long run. This is what I would as ultimately, we all exchange time for money. Why not exchange the same amount of time for more money?

That would be just once a week, I’ve worked in a similar place before (just down the road actually and it was about 90 mins, so about 3 hrs in the car)

I’m just worried I’ll piss someone off, worried I’ll turn one down and the other will fall through etc.

These aren't rational worries in this situation and obviously a symptom of your treatment in the other job, so talk to someone IRL to get help with that issue and try not to factor them into this decision, which is a professional one and not going to piss people off, nor can you factor in acts of god where a job vanishes, which is unlikely. I'd go for the 50k one, make sure you have some time off being taking it to sort yourself out. I think making the decision will be the first step to getting your mojo back.

Omg, take the first one! Also - let them know you have another offer and can you come in and look around the office - glassdoor is never going to be as good as seeing it and meeting a couple of people.

about 3 hrs in the car

That's still less appealing than a short more regular drive, which can be quite relaxing.

Do you like and value WFH? Some people hate it or aren’t bothered in which case would take the more senior role. Personally I absolutely hate going into an office and an extra £20 a day wouldn’t be anywhere near enough to make me go it.

We’ll all struggle to advise you unless we know whether WFH is valuable to you or not.

In your position (30's l, want career progress etc I'd choose the senior position & negotiate for 2 days in the office)

What's your family situation and do you enjoy WFH? For the sake of an extra £100 a month after commuting costs I'd personally take the less senior, presumably less stressful mostly working from home job but I love WFH and like the flexibility with a young child. There's not much money in it so maybe just choose the job you think you'd enjoy most and which fits your lifestyle.

WFH could also not help you get your confidence back. Hiding away and taking a junior role could add into your self-narrative that you've been brought low by the treatment of you and make you less likely to step up in future.

It's such a difficult decision. One I'm having to make atm. I've a very good job, pays well but considering taking a significant pay cut to move companies and take on a less senior role. It would mean no line management etc. but then it's a backwards step career wise. Pension implications etc. Arghhhhh.

My mental health is winning the day at the moment and I'm likely to take the pay cut...

Sorry I realise I haven't been much help at all here 🤦‍♀️

Probably first one. You sound like someone who will do better with more face-to-face time. It is very easy to freeze, worry and overthink when you are alone at home.

If that doesn't sound like you, please don't be offended. But have a think. Would a quick chat with another adult, or even just a bit of human contact, help you make decisions with less strain? That wouldn't be unusual!

It’s helpful for me, 2 young children but I also struggle concentrating so it’s not great for that, the lower paid one fits my lifestyle more as could carpool with my old work mate who works at the place down the road but is that the right choice? Christ knows

It totally depends on a few things.

I recently took a big backstep in my job as I was travelling a lot and due to family commitments needed to be homebased. I now enjoy my job a lot more as it's much less stress than the senior management position I was in previously. Because I am over qualified for my current position I'm excelling so my pay increases and bonuses have been larger than average. My manager is also supporting me in dipping my toe in some other areas such as mentoring, training and process development.

Unfortunately my pay cut was over £20k 😩. For 5k I'd definitely consider the more junior role. Weigh up if that extra £150 a month is worth the extra stress. Also, does it actually work out at an extra £150 with the extra 2 days in the office.

What are your long term plans though? Are you planning on progressing up the ladder again or will you be happy just to remain in a similar role long-term?

Do you currently work from home at all? It can feel quite isolating especially if you are used to open plan. In which case you may benefit from being in the office three days per week

At your age, I would always put the more senior job as the default in order to progress in the next role and so on so look for any reasons to choose the other one instead. Are there enough?

The commute is longer, the pay is less, less seniority, the only advantage is two fewer days in the office but how do you feel about that? There are advantages to going to the office and separating work from family life.

It’s not just a decision for now. Take the more senior job that is closer. It will open more opportunities for you later. In a year or two you’ll have more skills and experience to go to another job or role or move industries, and being in the office 3 days a week will make changing companies easier as you’ll quickly meet people and make connections.

The 45k junior role 1 day a week in office role may be easier and more comfortable and inviting now, but if you wanted to move in a year where would it leave you?

Think about which one leaves you in a better position after you’ve been in the role one year. This isn’t a choice for forever.

Well done on two job offers.

Yeah, there's definitely something to be said for getting all the travelling done on the same day.

Would the hours be the same for both jobs?

It’s valuable but how valuable is the question, I don’t know but the 50k a year mark to me says you’re on the way to being a high earner plus over the course of the year that 150 is like an extra 1800 and I’ve already taken a pay cut to leave my old hell sorry job

I'd take the one with more working from home. That's because I hate being in the office and hate the time and money I waste to get there. I'd need a lot more than £150 a month to make me pick the other option.

No one but you can decide what is best for you. But the fact that you haven't immediately jumped at the higher paying job suggests that the working from home is quite important to you.