I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

Toss a coin. If you're gutted by what it lands on, then take the other one.

Dh isn’t home yet…

im still flip flopping. Yesterday he went back and said the higher paid. But it will be harder when I’m in the office and he is working away. People manage it I know.

lower paid has a much longer lead time for start date which given I’m out of work now , isn’t great. At least 6 weeks. Higher paid can be almost instant

oh and re child benefit dh already earns over 60 so we don’t get child benefit

OP you are driving me mad, so god knows how your husband/the hiring managers feel. Higher paid job has already been flexible with number of days in the office, it's entirely possible (and even likely) they'll be able to flex how many/which days you're in the office on the weeks your DH is away with you making it up on the weeks he's home.

Speaks volumes that you see yourself as the employee, not the boss, even in your own insult.

thankfully the deadline for the decision is tomorrow… hallelujah!! 😂

Well don’t read the thread if I’m driving you mad. To the hiring managers I’ve said I need some time can you accommodate xyz so they don’t know that I’m stressing

So now I’ve just found out that another literally dream role I’ve got a first round interview for, do I still attend even though I’ve secured a new role? This role is probably around 60k per year and at my dream company (less holiday than both others though, weird despite being a giant).

it’s a 3 stage interview so it will be lengthy. Do I just worry about that later, would you? I don’t think I can pass the 50k up on the vague possibility I might secure another role, but it’s pretty bad form to start and quit within 2 months right?

yes of course it’s bad form to start a role and leave in 2mth for another role you’ve got lined up in reserve and know about now
stop pissing about and make a choice
job 1
job 2
or new opportunity

Is your post writing style for mirth or are you really so chaotic and indecisive?

45k because it is less stress for you for an extra 5k which mostly will go in taxes and you have a potential pay rise.

Take the 50k job. You may very well not get the other one. A bird in the hand.

ive had a really bad time of it mentally wise following my old place

I’ve not been offered the job at the new opportunity yet, heck not even a second or third interview. I don’t think I can turn either job down based on a maybe, that’s daft. Bird in hand as PP said

I said upthread ages ago, I’ve decided to go with the higher paid one for the following reasons;
not to let fear win
more money
better for progression and cv
decent enough benefits
sooner start date

the commute doesn’t phase me either way. The lower paid role would be familiar (in so far as it’s not going to be challenging, it will be a step back but in that lays ease) and I’d be taking it out of fear and my confidence being battered.

Ok,firstly congratulations on 2 offers & 1 interview. You’ve made your choice, so inform employer and commence work inc the week induction. You seem somewhat bruised (understandable) from past experience

you said therapy was desirable but too costly
hope you don’t mind but here are low cost therapy options In London. I’m not endorsing any practitioners or practices just sharing details

Higher paid office. Definitely. Better progression prospects I bet as well.

No contest. Unless you have a nightmare commute or an absolute pain of a school run.

Just wanted to stop by and say a huge congratulations!!

Personally, whichever job you do decide to take - I'd still attend the interview for that dream job.

Don't worry about anything being 'poor form' This is your life and you only get one chance at it!

And btw, it's the management team at your previous organisation who clearly require therapy, not you!!!

Op said she’d like to explore therapy but it’s too costly
it really is unprofessional to keep attending interviews when you’ve accepted a post, it is will potentially cause additional stress & multiple choices. Plus it involved a convoluted employment chain where you accept one, pursue another and are left with a sequence of lies to for in all the different interviews and offers

50k job, because they're already treating you better than the 45k job. You need somewhere that doesn't describe a job as stressful and underpaid at interview ⛳ and pays enough to afford the therapy you clearly need. Do they have a mentoring programme you could join?

The 60k job is a dream, not reality. You can reapply once you feel more solid and confident in a year or two.

Your 'D'H isn't actually flipflopping, he is being passive aggressive because he doesn't want you to take the 50k job because it will affect your childcare availability and he might have to step up earn more now so your eventual life after divorce is easier...

What is this sector that pays 50-60k with no line management?

On the commute distance alone I would choose the 50.
What if the 45 suddenly wanted you to do that 90 minutes (THREE HOURS A DAY!!!!!) Commute more often!?

you found out at 9.15pm?!!

@innerdesign we won’t get closure today by the look of the update ! 😂

Call your local IAPT service and get on the waiting list for free psychology OP. You need some help for the problems caused by your previous job. I can’t see how you will function well in the workplace right now as you seem so ‘all over the place’. How will you make decisions confidently?

I just don’t think you are in the right mental state to start a new job right now. Can you do some lower paid work for a while as you try and get your head together? Good luck whatever you decide.

but it’s pretty bad form to start and quit within 2 months right?

are you seriously asking this question?

plus, as the interviewing company enquiring about your current role and how long in it… i would be unimpressed at the realisation you’d quite obviously accepted the role you had been in for a few weeks whilst also interviewing for this role

It’s a no brainer for me, I would take the £50k job, it’s career progression and a development opportunity. It’s not a huge commute and there may be space in the future to negotiate 2 or even 1 in opposed to 3 days in the office.

I don’t see the point in taking a backward step by taking the other one unless you are just working for money and the one day in the office and rest of the time WFH makes life more convenient with child pick up from school etc.

bit earlier but into the evening I got the automated invite yes

so deadline day…..

at point of application I knew I was leaving my old company, so this new role is not on the cv,
so I probably wouldn’t mention it

but you’re quite a negative Nelly aren’t you.

ive said 3 times now, I’ll be accepting the higher paid job