I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

the one sage piece of advice I got in my old toxic work place is that, employers make you feel something emotionally and sometimes roles don’t work out, ultimately the business doesn’t care for you on an individual level, so you do what works for you.

this job was applied for ages ago, so much so I stopped thinking about it, it has just come back around now.

ive already self referred to the local talking therapy, it’s just a wait, private is just a bit too costly now

There’s lots, there’s even some that go up to 75+ a year no line management necessary. It’s all relatively low stress too. I feel like If I said my industry it would be outing.

60k is my previous salary. The role I smashed, the culture at that specific place smashed me

when they ask what you are currently doing

you would not say that you were currently employed?

ive said 3 times now, I’ll be accepting the higher paid job

you sure have

but then last night said that the third option had sent you in a tizz again!

So have you let them know if you’ve made your mind up?

a “negative nelly” for observing that it would be unreasonable to accept a position, work there for 2 months and then hand notice in? ok

I’d probably say I’d taken an interim role due to the cost of living and that my notice is 1 week

how long is probation?

i take it that your industry isn’t a “close” one where you’re worried your name will be tarnished as a result of messing companies around?

and wouldnt they ask… where is the temp job and what are you doing there? yes, they would

Pad of paper 2 columns. Hand write pros and cons in detail for each job. It can really help clarify thoughts.

That’s if I mention it, it’s close enough but unlikely any movement between these areas plus this is a bit Cart before the horse.

but if I did mention it, they’d have to contact them for a reference (purely time scales and job title)

I AM an employee! 🤣

I would 100% stick with the lower paid position. Once the fuel and parking is factored in you’ll be out of pocket and also more stressed

The paid job is a much longer commute: 90mins vs 30 mins at the higher paid one.

For one less day a week and a commute that's 3x as long? She wouldn't.

my reference is just fine thanks, in fact most references these days are just a confirmation of job and title and dates nothing else. I’ve got a list as long of my arm up to director level of people to give me a character reference if needed.

well, it’s not on my cv so, they’d never know in all honesty. I’ve know very high up people start a new role hate it and move on very quickly, it happens. I can ultimately say that I took a role to pay my bills but it wasn’t a dream job if it comes to that.

If you’re happy to wait on talk therapy, ok
if not you can look for reduced cost therapy (I posted ldn links) if you are elsewhere you can google reduced therapy costs and often MIND offer free or reduced therapy too

I’m sure it’s 2 less days (1 day in office be 3 days?!?) but more to the point I wouldn’t want the extra stress / responsibility for less than £40 a week

One of the other reasons I chose the slightly higher paid one was the sooner start date the other had a 6/7 week turn around time, so super slow

There was an update to say they'd accepted 2 days (unless I've missed a later post tbh I've not checked all)

The 45k one. There is more to life than work

Take the £50k job. Better commute, better pay and seniority can lead to even better pay/roles. As others have said be wary of taking a backward step - hard to recover from and doesn’t sound like it offers enough benefit to take that risk

I stepped sideways into the more junior role (my decision was based on a troublesome teenage son needing more of my time) I never got that step back up. If you don't take the opportunity, you may well never get the next one.

You can nearly always step down but harder up. Save that extra money and use it of the future.

Factor in the work at home costs - fuel etc. WFH can be isolating and takes your personality out of the pool for consideration.

BUT which one will make you happier? Not everyone wants to "progress". Are you a specialist? Moving up may take you away from specialism into managing - is that what you want?

At least down south there are more attractions, would love to take my kids to Legoland, Alton towers, or any adventure park , everything is down south, the closest adventure park for us is 2.5 hour drive so it has to be an overnight...sigh