To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

A true friend wouldn't make you feel like this. Time to move on from this person.

I've got a disabled person's railcard as I have a hearing aid! I can also drive, I do not feel any guilt.

She sounds like a right cow.

I've just come back and found all your replies and I know it sounds weird but I feel relief to see them all. Somehow she'd made me question whether I was taking something I shouldn't morally have and was taking advantage of my situation...

I feel a bit better now. Thank you all of you

She sounds like a prick. My husband isn’t a wheelchair user, he can walk fine, when we lived in the UK he had one, he has arthrogryposis, ask your friend (she shouldn’t be one now surely) if she believes he is disabled enough for a small amount of extra help in making his life a tiny bit easier.

I wasn't suggesting @LadyKenya that I have ever thought that about anyone myself. I meant the OP's so called friend. I could have worded it better. I have plenty of experience of people judging and thinking that disabilities and illnesses in my family are not real and am sick to death of having to explain and defend.

You are absolutely not wrong. My husband has badly controlled epilepsy (it doesn't respond to any of the three main groups of meds) so can't drive. The disabled Railcard is a godsend for him. I'm sure he would prefer not to fall down in public during a seizure with all the risks of injury and the risk of embarrassing incontinence too but doesn't have a choice. I suspect her brain would melt if she realised that it also entitled a companion travelling with you to have the same discount....

Honestly, with people like this as friends you don't need enemies. I had one friend with this attitude towards my disabilities.

She's no longer a friend.

What an idiot. Is she stupid? How would she feel if she or a loved one were run over by someone with diagnosed epilepsy who insisted on driving? 🤯 You are being responsible. Trains are expensive. Love your comment about getting rid of her.

Actually works at other end too. Young person railcard till 30 now giving a third off

ive been retired for 2 years on pension and only qualify for older person railcard this year. Sons salary is 6 figures for 2 years (in London though ) and will be loosing his this year

it is to encourage people to use train and to help those that use train most to keep prices affordable( well ish becuase they’re still silly even with railcards)

she can just F off with those judgements. Not your friend. Just a jealous busy body .

what's more, you can get railcards for all kinds of things: for your area, if you're a student, if you're unemployed . . . If she's envious, she should look and see which she can get.

I've got one because I need to use a hearing aid and entitled to have one. There is nothing wrong with my legs and I can drive. It costs £20 a year and I get 1/3 off fares. If I travel with someone they are called my carer and they get 1/3 off as well. I don't travel a lot by train, enough to claw back the £20 and a little bit more.

Your friend is an idiot and not worth having her as a friend.

She’s not a friend, she’s an idiot.

Take another (proper) friend with you next time. I’m sure you already know this but in case you didn’t then another adult travelling with you is also entitled to the discount.

That person is not your friend.

Wow she’s completely unreasonable and would be off my Christmas card list. I have a disabled railcard and I do drive - I’m entitled to one and I need some positives for suffering pain 24/7. She needs a serious shake

So if you can't drive, how does your "friend" think you should get around?

Don't you dare give that card up , she's no friend . She'd be the very person who if you did drive would lecture you on being irresponsible to do so.

Most people probably don’t realise that you can get this card if you have any kind of hearing loss requiring a hearing aid.

@cottonwoolbrain
Good on you for dropping her 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻.
Have you let her know that you're dropping her, and why?
Or will you just ghost her?
I agree with all pp, she's an arsehole and no friend at all.

She is not your friend. Cut her off.

The whole point is that our world makes it expensive for people with disabilities to have the same mobility or even earning potential as those without disabilities. She sounds like these people that attack people for using their blue badge for parking even though their legs work

My DS is 12 and has epilepsy and he's entitled to a free bus pass, because he's ineligible for a driving licence. Now that's daft (and he doesn't need a free bus pass on those grounds but he has hypermobility and dyspraxia so finds walking tiring so we do use it).

You on the other hand are TOTALLY justified in having a railcard.

I live in a city and it is still a pita! Maybe not such a big one, but its expensive and takes forever to get anywhere all the same.

You are in the right. This is how society should work. Some people are even jealous of what benefits even disabled people get.

Crumbs. It's a shockingly small discount on horribly high prices. If you can't drive, I can't see why you shouldn't get 75% off, or more.

Thoughtless unpleasant friend.

WTAF! She thinks you don't drive because you're lazy! If you were in a wheelchair you could safely drive an adapted car, you can't drive safely during a seizure! Is there a railcard for total fuckwits? She should apply.