To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

You are eligible for one and that’s the end of it. It’s no-one else’s business. I’m tired of people minimising disabilities and not attempting to understand invisible ones. I get loads of people telling I ‘look well’ when I’m often on high doses of steroids and antibiotics. They don’t know the half of it. Let them walk a mile in your shoes.

Echo other people's comments - she's a total arse and you don't need people like that in your life.

You are entitled to a disabled rail card and have clear reasons for needing it. Sod anyone who says different.

There are so many nice, non-judgmental people out there, make some new friends

My mother had to give up driving when they discovered that she had nighttime seizures (I don't know). I believe that she started driving again once it was proven that she was stable again. She would have used public transport if it was paid for because of a disability.
Clearly your 'friend' left her brain behind at puberty and you are well rid of her.

It's shocking how many people still think people who can't walk are the only ones who count as disabled. I would drag her for filth and tell her I won't nothing to do with her anymore.

Me too.

Wow, she knows legally you can’t drive? She sounds like a bitch.
Sorry you can’t drive and have to rely on public transport

Oh god I'm sorry OP, as others have said your friend is awful please don't take it to heart

What a bitch. I’d write her a message explaining why she’s a bitch and how much she hurt you, and then I’d tell her I no longer wanted to continue the friendship.

Wow. Does she really think that if you tried harder you wouldn't have epilepsy?

Loads of people can buy a normal Railcard for £30 a year and get the same discounts, especially in the South East where you can get a network rail card at any age.

The Disabled Persons Railcard costs £20 a year and gets the same discounts as the other railcards. That's a £10 discount.

She has just lost your friendship over £10/yr, she is absolutely ridiculous and not only that, she tried to publically humiliate you.

I'm so sorry you went through that.

Well she’s not very kind is she. Take no notice OP you’re entitled to the rail card

She’s not your friend she’s an arse, and thick as two short planks if she can’t understand why you can’t drive. I’m glad you’re ditching her.

If you have Epilepsy you often aren't allowed to drive.

I've just been awarded PIP and will be getting a railcard its going to make a huge difference and I am exactly the same as you have an invisible illness. I've had lots of nastiness over the 10 years since I've been diagnosed. Apparently my nice car is funded by other people's taxes because I have a blue badge (it's not its funded by me working), I'm faking being ill so I can have a blue badge...I've heard them all. I'd happily hand the lot back if I could have my life back to how it was! I even put off claiming PIP because of the way other people would make me feel when I was entitled to it years ago. Bin this awful woman off you have enough to deal with without nastiness like that on top

Ugh. Having had a friend's only commiserations with my inability to be able to drive ever again being "well at least you get a blue badge" 🙄 I totally get it. Rude. A blue badge and rail pass REALLY doesn't make up for a removal of a huge part of autonomy and independence.

What a vile woman! And ignorant too. OP, I hope you’re able to make good use of that railcard. You’re entitled to it.

I just ignore people like that. I'm disabled and I can't drive or work, but DH has a high salary and I have BTLs so we have a decent income. But we have disabled dcs too and we are disadvantaged financially and in other ways because of that. I refuse to let that affect our quality of life so I've made sure we've got PIP and ESA sorted for me, DLA for the dcs, Blue Badges, Freedom Pass for free tube travel, disabled railcard, access passes for theme parks and free carer tickets for every attraction we go to. Don't be ashamed of using your railcard, and make sure you max out every discount and entitlement you can, you deserve it.

Your friend is either stupid or a horrible person - or maybe both. I bet the other passengers overhearing her on the train thought so too.

Could you message her to say how upset she's made you? Spell out to her that you're not allowed to drive for medical reasons and this is why you're entitled to a railcard. Your epilepsy is disabling, no matter what she thinks.

Maybe send a link, like this, with the section on driving highlighted:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/epilepsy/living-with/

Then don't bother seeing her ever again!

Sweet lord Christ. how is she your friend? they don't give them cards away easily enough. you are entitled to it and use it as much as you want. tell her to go do one

Good riddance to bad rubbish. You are whom railcars are for. Don't ever think you are not deserving. She's just an idiot and a wanker.

Well she needs binning

Ask her how she feels about 16-26 year olds, 26-30 year olds, veterans and OAPs having railcards? Dump her OP, she's nasty.

What an absolute arse, how dare she!

You are entitled to that card and have good reason to use it. Ignore her. What a nasty piece of work.

Oh my goodness she's an absolute idiot!!! You are exactly the sort of person this card exists for. Good on you for dropping her!