To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

Glad you're dumping the so called friend!!

Why do people who qualify for benefits like this have to forego them just because they are earning a living? The reality is for OP that she could be making a net £X, but if she didn't have epilepsy she could be making net £X plus several thousand pounds a year - to say nothing of losing the other limitations on her life that epilepsy imposes. At least having this benefit slightly ameliorates one aspect of the disadvantage to her. If your mother doesn't want it, fine, but I can't see that that indicates any sort of superiority or virtue on her part.

Something tells me she's on MN ...

She didn't think about it late until she saw this thread I'd bet.

At least perhaps she's learned something.

There are no 'perks' for being disabled.

It's often a much more expensive way of life.

I wouldn't begrudge one thing that might make their lives better.

And you're definitely not nice

We just think that if you have money then you should not be a burden on the system and maybe free it up for others. You could have just used the word ’better’ but I suppose you were trying to feel superior.

How many other people do you know with epilepsy?

<irony alert>

Proof of DLA or PIP is only part of the criteria. People not in receipt of either can get a disabled rail card if they meet any of the other criteria.

My mother’s epilepsy has not cost her anything more, I’ve just asked her. I’m not nice for thinking people on good money shouldn’t be claiming anything. Oh dear. Ok you’re right if it will shut you up.

Stalker.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous

threatmatrix · Today 12:07

My mother has epilepsy and would never claim anything as she earns a good salary. But thank you for comment.

Well bully for her but not everyone's circumstances are the same.

Oh for fucks sake! Your friend was an absolute arsehole.

Sorry, but she can't go around spouting this nonsense.

You are absolutely entitled to that railcard. Please keep using it.

My DH walks but uses a white cane because of how limited his vision is. We're both appalled by the judgement he gets subjected to by people like your friend.

@threatmatrix if you have active epilepsy, you cannot drive. This means you will need to use public transport. This is inherently more expensive than driving. Your mother may have someone available to drive her everywhere, in which case she doesn't incur any expenses. People who do not have this will have those costs and should have the discount - it's not just about money, it's about compensation for having some of life's choices taken away.

Maybe get that empathy bypass reversed?

@threatmatrix I'm sorry your mum has epilepsy but delighted it's not cost her anything. She has lived a very priviledged life if it's never inconvenienced her financially and I bet if she thinks about it, it has in time if not money.

I got passed over for promotion last year because the role required a driving licence - go figure It's not the first time either.

@Nanny0gg You're no stalker - you're the best kind of witch

What a gracious response to someone who didn’t deserve your grace.

😘 Thank you

@SearchingForSolitude I know that, I should have put "etc"

We just think that if you have money then you should not be a burden on the system and maybe free it up for others.

@threatmatrix you have conveniently ignored my earlier post where I told you that the Railcard ISN'T a benefit paid for by the tax payer. It's a discount card that is bought by the person who qualifies, whether they be a student, a young person, someone over 60, or someone with a disability. Someone who buys that card is not a burden on the system and there aren't a limited number of those cards, so no-one who qualifies loses out.

The rail companies offer them because two thirds of the ticket price is better then none at all, and those who qualify are those who might not otherwise use the train. This way they're more likely to, so it's a win for the train companies.

Nobody benefits from being friends with a thicko who is incapable of empathy

Cheers! <hic>

Hope your ok?
She wasnt a friend, believe me.💐

You clearly have no idea what disability benefits or concessions for the disabled are for, because you are obviously in a much better financial position than the vast majority of disabled people if you can afford private schooling and private medical insurance. You have a cushion from the harsh reality most disabled people face on a daily basis. And you are not enabling more money for anything - those benefits are there to mitigate some of the difficulties disabled people face, and the disadvantages at which their disabilities put them. If they are not claimed by those who are entitled, the budgets get reduced and there is actually less funding available as a result.

And the OP is a tax payer herself, as are the thousands of disabled people who use these benefits to fund transport and other necessities so that they can work and pay tax. The benefits they receive back are no different from things like NHS treatment, education, or any other public services.

A disabled persons railcard and other similar concessions have to be purchased. They provide discounted fares and the ability to take a companion such as a carer or someone to keep them safe, which would otherwise be prohibitively expensive. I’m glad your mother hasn’t been too inconvenienced by her condition. But you should keep in mind that that isn’t the case for very many disabled people. And if you haven’t experienced the issues involved then you should consider yourself privileged and not in a position to berate disabled people for taking advantage of benefits and concessions actually meant for them.