To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

You've encouraged me to get one. I had a seizure and had to surrender my licence. I didn't want to get one though as I hate having epilepsy and don't want the label. So I bought a network railcard but I can't use it on my local line. I've just used my clubcard vouchers to get the new one.
Got to have some benefits to this horrid condition!

She’s a total bitch. It’s got nothing to do with whether you “need” the financial concession - you’re entitled to the support! There’s something really twisted about someone who thinks only people who are short on cash are deserving of help when they have a recognised medical condition.

Would she rather you, or anyone else, drive when they would be a danger to themselves and others, just because you can afford to drive?

Also, you mentioned buses being
expensive- have you got a bus pass? It's free, you just need your doctor to sign the form.

So sad when you realise a former friend is an arsehole!

Is she pissed off because she didn't get the 1/3 discount that applies to a person travelling with the holder as well? Or would she have refused it and paid full price if offered?

This person wouldn't be my friend anymore

Trains are so expensive and you're doing the right thing by not driving. Forget her horrible, insensitive and incorrect comments.

Any Railcard has something to do with it - those paying full fare (like this "friend") may object to people who get a subsidy because they aren't allowed to drive for health reasons or perhaps being a little older over 60 or younger under 30 may feel they don't have the stamina or experience for a long drive on their own.
Isn't the idea of rail cards to encourage people away from roads.
This person isn't a friend

Do not give up the card and certainly don't feel guilty. You are disabled and are entitled to the card. What a cow

She's a twat. My son is physically disabled ( has to use an electric wheelchair) but we absolutely recognise that not all life affecting disabilities are as obvious as his. You don't need judgemental pillocks like that in your life, it's tough enough as it's.

Fuck her off, OP. You’re entitled to it x

I wouldn't block her , just send a photo of yourself smiling and holding the card aloft on the train every time you use it, with a bit of luck she will spontaneously combust

So by her reason all those using a young person's Railcard should be school children who cannot work? An older person's Railcard is only for people closer to requiring a hearse than a train? What a judgemental twat. Has she ever tried having a tonic clonic seizure on a train platform? I'd not bother go anywhere with them ever again. Bet she'd change her tune if you got a blue badge, she'd bite your hand off for it probably!?

How sad a so called friend made you feel like this. Best decision you could make dropping her. Your physical heath can't be mended but your mental wellbeing can be. go and treat yourself to something nice you've earned it! Feel proud too!

I can't drive due to uncontrolled seizures as well. The world contains too many self-centred ignorant idiots who just can't get their head around it and have no empathy for the enormous impact on your life.
I hope you do end this friendship. Sadly too often we end up putting up with their judgemental comments because they are family or old friends that we don't have the heart to ditch.

Wow! I mean this was clearly not about you at all, who actually cares if you have a railcard? She was probably under some other pressure and saw you as someone she can take it out on.

Apart from the fact that she is wrong and not a proper friend, why does she think it is any of her business? Even if I thought someone was swinging it a bit (not suggesting for one minute that you are OP) I would never ever say anything. It's just so bloody rude and intrusive.

Well, passengers who pay full price do subsidise discounts to others

But that's by the by. If OP qualifies for a rail card, then she's absolutely entitled to use it and her friend was a dick

Everyone is entitled to their opinion- however delusional and misguided they may be- but no one is entitled to voice that opinion at the cost of someone else’s feelings. That just makes them entitled full stop.

She's totally out of order! Sounds very jealous to me. Keep your railcard get rid of her

Your so called friend is a bitch!

And it is people who think that people with disabilities are "swinging it a bit" who are part of the whole problem. All of these concessions require proof to be able to obtain. I am unsure as to how people "swing this"!

I have to travel for work and the discount helps counter the often additional cost compared to driving, especially if taxis to and from the station are involved. Therefore helping reduce prejudice towards hiring disabled employees.

Tbf you’d also be eligible for a free bus pass too as you aren’t eligible to drive. I’d get one too. Some cover local trains at certain times
I’m now eligible for the bus pass and the train pass and I’ll apply for both. I’m not in a wheelchair but I am eligible

Do you mean one of the discount railcards? If so I really don't get her reasoning because there are so many of those available. Lots of people use them for discounted travel so she's being ridiculous. I'm sorry you had your trip spoiled.