To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

Well done for getting rid of her!

Ha! I have a disabled railcard card because I have a hearing aid, it's one of the criteria. Your "friend " sounds bonkers!

@cottonwoolbrain I am far more familiar with absence seizures than I would like to be. You aren't legally allowed to drive for a year after your last one, and if the meds don't stop you experiencing them (they don't work for everyone), then you would never be allowed to drive. It's not a question of whether you want to or not! I would make that point to your former friend before ditching her.

She ain’t no friend. Dump and run.

If you got one you were entitled to it.

Cut your " friend" out of your life, it's too short for mean minded shrews like that

Apologies to real shrews

She sounds like a massive wanker and no-one needs that in their lives

She sounds dim as well as nasty! The disabled railcard is part of national rail’s marketing strategy to encourage you to use the train. They don’t make any money from empty seats! It is not some kind of disability benefit subsidised by other rail users. I’m sorry you were so upset. Keep the card and get rid of the friend!

Wow, she’s no friend. I have a disabled railcard and I’m not in a wheelchair. They’re hard to get.

You have no choice but to use public transport due to your health condition and that is a total PITA for you; public transport doesn't generally take you from A to B without going via X, Y and Z. Your "friend" is not a friend.

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

Even though medically, you can’t?

How bizarre-she really hasn’t thought this one through! Does she think you’re lying?

You made the right decision to get rid of her - how dare she?!

Am sure given a day in your shoes she would change her tune - it's likely complete ignorance but she was rude and way out of line to lecture you, never mind doing it in public

Well, as someone who has seen 1st hand the devastating and life changing effects epilepsy can have on a person, I think you've done right in telling your "friend" to do one. Eplipesy is a cruel and unpredictable illness, and you have every right to any thing which may help you live as normal life as possible. Tell her to go fuck herself. Grr, I am angry on your behalf. My sister was so poorly controlled for so many years. I don't think a lot of people "get it".

I doubt DVLA would let you drive anyway if you have absence seizures. Apart from that I think your friend is best off being an ex friend.

What has the senior railcard got to do with this?

I agree that the woman sounds utterly horrible and if I were the OP I'd want nothing more to do with her.

She's an ignorant bitch. It's something my mum would do.

Those cards are meant for people exactly like you OP- people who have no choice but to use expensive public transport because they have a disability or condition that limits their options.

This ^

You legally can’t drive because of your health. Is your ex-friend a bit thick or just nasty?

How stupid of her, I'm sure you'd be happy to drive at your own expense rather than have epilepsy.

Your friend is ridiculous. You didn’t just get a disabled persons railcard handed to you for no reason.

What an extremely ignorant 'friend'. I too have one and don't have a visible disability. I rely on public transport as I can't safely drive. I'm sure you're just like me in that you'd very much like to, but it simply isn't safely possible! You're best rid of her!

What an arsehole. I'm glad you've given her up and are keeping the railcard.

I’m so sorry she treated you that way. Hang on to that card, lose the friend. How dare she!

can you imagine what type of person you are that all the injustices in the world you're taking a stand on this. Your friend sounds delightful.

You are 100% entitled to that.

In general people seem to struggle so much with disability that they can't see

So she would rather you risk your life and those of other people driving would she? She needs to give her head a wobble.

Yeah, she is not your friend, sorry.

I wouldn't be a friend to a horrid person like that. I'd be ashamed to me associated with them.

I hope you get lots of chances to have great days out with your Railcard. If it was left to me, you'd be travelling for free.