To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

Define good salary? Bring disabled is expensive. The disabled persons railcard also means I can have someone with me and it not be so expensive.

How is it taxpayers money? It's not a benefit, it's a discount card people have to buy. Would someone not get a Railcard that allowed 2 people to travel together or a family Railcard or a local network card? Or wouldn't use off peak or advance fares?
Rail companies win hands down when people use trains more because they have a Railcard. They cannot be used during peak times, so they help full up trains that might otherwise be emptier, they get more income from people buying discounted tickets than people not buying tickets. That's why they do advance fares to fill up the seats, as a person paying a smaller amount is more profitable for them than an empty seat. If OP drove (which she can't but let's assume that she could) then the train company would have less income that day
Even if someone can drive, going by train is better for the environment than driving, less hassle, no one needs to find somewhere to park a train when they arrive at their destination, you can relax and arrive much more refreshed at your destination, or you can work on the journey, or chat to a fellow passenger.

@threatmatrix it's not taxpayers' money, as far as I'm aware. The train companies cover the cost, just as they do for students, over 30s and over 69s. It's in their interest to sell as many tickets as they can, and offering these groups a 30% discount (after those people have paid £20 or £30 for their card) is in their interests. Nothing to do with the tax payer.

If they’re working then they pay tax. Some of that money comes back to them just like it does for all of us, in direct payment or through the provision of services. Do you have children? They get a free education up to the age of 18 paid for through taxes and you get child benefit (up to a specified income). Do you use the NHS? Do you drive on the roads paid for by taxes? Public transport costs are subsidised for teenagers, young adults and the over 65s too.

Things like PIP, motability schemes and travel cards help people with disabilities to get to work to earn money to pay tax.

She is at a disadvantage in life due to her disability, this is why you get disability benefits not because ya can't work but because your disability has a detrimental effect on your life for more than 12 months.

This ladies capability to travel is hindered and using trains is bloody expensive.

You or your loved one obviously don't have these issues and hindrances to your life so you don't understand how hard it can be and how much simple little things like this allow people to enjoy a quality of life they wouldn't have otherwise so how about instead of bitching and moaning, ya get down on your knees, kiss the ground and thank God it doesn't apply to you!!

This kind of attitude is a major attributer to the shitty world we live in.

X post. So it’s not even tax money and you’re moaning?

She has epilepsy, so does my mother, it doesn’t cost her anything.

Good for her? My dad developed epilepsy 20 years ago and couldn't drive for 2 years. He couldn't work for some of those 2 years and needed taxis if no one was around to give him a lift.

Glad she's apologised maybe she can educate herself on hidden disabilities and how privileged she is to not need that card. Silly woman

Yes, I would have replied. We are SO lucky that my husband has cancer. It's been a godsend, what with all the free stuff.

My children went private as do my grandchildren. We all use private medical and dentistry so I actually give a lot more into the state system than I receive. My mother has epilepsy but claims nothing, as like OP stated, she earned a good salary so paid for everything herself. We try our hardest to be totally self sufficient to enable there to be more money for people who need it and are not fortunate enough to earn a ‘good’ salary.

@threatmatrix so you're motives are totally altruistic then?

Well done to you for ridding yourself of such a nasty individual.

My mother has epilepsy and would never claim anything as she earns a good salary. But thank you for comment.

Part of my job is getting these cards for people with disabilities etc
The criteria doesn't say you need to have trouble walking! Proof of pip or dla is whats needed
She is weird

Precisely he couldn’t work so he should have got all the help possible. She earns a ‘good’ salary. My mother has epilepsy and earns a ‘good’ salary and because of this claims nothing.

If you insist 🙄

Don't even think about giving up your card. You are ENTITLED to it. I guess she isn't medically qualified so she is not in a position to decide if your disabled or not.

Ah, one of those.

AND she had a go at you in front of others?

I really hope she breaks both her legs and both her arms and ends up in a wheelchair for months! What a horrible vindictive anti-disabled bag of rot she is!

I've had idiots - sometimes those that know me and sometimes strangers - having a go at me for my disabilities. I have to use a 4-wheeled seated Rollator, I can walk without it and I sometimes just use a walking stick or sometimes no aids at all, it depends how bad the pain is but I'm having to rely more and more on my stick and Rollator and when people see me coming out of the Disabled public loo I get nasty comments like ''you don't LOOK disabled so you shouldn't have a RADAR Key.

I work full-time self-employed, hubby and I own our own business, we literally work 7 days a week from 8am to 5pm but I've been told ''you shouldn't be working'' WHY? If I didn't work then they'd bark at me that I'm lazy and unemployable and should get a job! I just bark back that those with disabilities have every right to work!

WHAT BLOODY BUSINESS IS IT OF THEIRS?! They're not my medical team or PIP assessors or Universal Credit job centre advisors!

Dump the bitch fast and do it IN PUBLIC to embarrass her!

CrazyLadie - I give you a upvote on that!

I would not give her another chance. Bin her.

You poor thing.

Do you know something - it's actually not up to her whether you have a blue badge for a car (you should probably look into getting one if you're married or your partner has a car that they can drive you in) or if you have a train ticket for disabled passengers, it really isn't. It has nothing to do with how much money you may have either whether you can have these things.

I'm so relieved that you've decided to bin the friend rather than your mode of transport.

How dare she be so condescending and ignorant of your situation. The only question I have for you @cottonwoolbrain, is if you retorted with "Well I have this for my hidden disability. I'd rather give up that disability and have a normal train ticket than this but I can't, so shut the f**k up about it. You're being such a horrible person and I don't want to sit with you so please find somewhere else to sit on this train!"

What a foul woman. You are so right to get her out of your life. Don't be said about this, be happy that you have taken action to get rid of her.

This sort of thing really posses me off!
my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a few years ago, it’s been a tough few years and people are arse holes!! We’ve had some incredibly thoughtless comments!!
People with disabilities ‘use’ their condition as an excuse to get a toilet pass/benefits/queue jump etc…. People honestly think being allowed to
use the loo is somehow a bonus of having a life changing disability?….
personally I think your friend has shown you who she is!!! I’m guessing she’s gone to moan about you to someone else and they’ve put her in her place! She’s had conversations with someone who has told her she’s an arse!