To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

Jesus. What a cow. Text her telling her she needs to get some decorum when it comes to being an actual decent human being. And the. Tell her you no longer want a friend like her. And block. Toodles hun!

Fuck me, did you call her a friend? Screw that, she would be disposed of/gone from my life two seconds after saying that to me!

I must remember that comeback! I walk with a stick and sometimes my limp is worse than others - it depends on how tired I am and how badly my arthritis is flaring (I have two types - lucky me!) and whether my hip is causing me grief from having fractured it a few years ago. People still eye me up and down to see if I'm disabled 'enough' to deserve my blue badge.

@DisabledDemon
Use it and welcome 🙂

There are some judgemental wankpuffins about

I'm looking forward to it 😁

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive
You would not be allowed to drive. ‘Friend’ is ignorant.

The 'friend' is back tracking like mad. I wonder why she's had such a sudden and complete change of heart?

She's volatile and I wouldn't trust her.

You can get a disabled rail card if you wear hearing aids so don’t worry about being entitled to one , ditch your obnoxious friend .

Her attitude is ridiculous. You pay for the card and you only get 1/3 off your ticket. She's acting as if you get completely free travel. And even if you did, she's still be wrong. You cannot drive. You are not allowed to.

She should check her privilege and appreciate that she has that freedom to just jump in her car and travel from door to door on the most direct and (usually fastest) route without worrying about timetables or the weather, while you don't.

What a nasty person

dump them how dare they treat you like that !
she can F off

If you've had a seizure in the past 12 months, it's my understanding that you are unable to drive anyway.
And as a parent of someone with epilepsy, I can tell you categorically that are entitled to that card! And someone who truly cared (and understood) would agree.
Get rid of this 'Friend' she sounds extremely toxic and a complete cow!

Horrible cow.

She sounds like a blunt insensitive instrument as well as being totally and deliberately ignorant of your situation. And at the same time, probably embarrassed to have a friend with epilepsy that might put her in a situation That in her mind will reflect on herself. Cut her off, she will never change

I have a friend here in Ireland. They applied for and got disability allowance which is a weekly payment similar UC/pip. One of the benefits of getting this payment is that they get a free travel card which they can use on buses, trains ect. This has improved my friends life so much as it enables them to get around independently without worrying about the cost.

The truth is that your entitled to your Railcard because of your epilepsy. I know there a lot of rules re epilepsy and driving. Your friend has the option of taking driving lessons and buying a car but you don't have this option. The Railcard is to help you due to this fact.
I think it was a mean comment she made and I start to see her less after what she said.

Stupid friend, not really a good friend eh? If you weren’t entitled to the card then you wouldn’t be able to get one. I mean they don’t just hand them out on street corners.

Hmm, that update....

There is no need to rush into anything. You can reply with

"Thank you for your apology. Yes, what you said was very hurtful and I'm still feeling the effects of that. For now, I just need a bit of time to myself to process it all."

If she actually understood how epilepsy works she would know that you’re not allowed to drive and can only learn if you have been seizure free for a year. My dad has epilepsy it took a lot of trial and error to get his meds right he has never learned how to drive when the gran mals stopped he would have multiple absences a day thankfully he hasn’t had any of them in years but he still gets warnings and has to go to bed so it doesn’t become a seizure. Your doing the right thing keeping hold of your rail card you need it what you don’t need if friends like that.

You are entitled to the card so use it. Ignore that friend 🧡

I like to go with the phrase "and you don't look like an idiot but here we are"

I had someone tell me my daughter doesn't look disabled and I asked them to describe what a disabled child looks like ..... They described downs syndrome, my daughter has cerebral palsy along with autism and a boat load of medical conditions 🤦🏻‍♀️ her face drops a little on one side so if they had been looking at her properly they would have picked up on that even if her wheelchair and afo's weren't a dead giveaway

Ah the joys of invisible disabilities, I feel ya, this happens to me all the time. The looks, the comments, do people not realise these things are assessed and ya only get then with the appropriate evidence such as PIP, Dr's confirmation etc etc, so if someone has a disability card of any kind ya can be assured it has been vigorously vetted to ensure they are entitled to it 🙈

Yeah ya don't need friends like that, anyone with half a brain cell should know that ya can't drive if you are at risk of taking a seizure, we get these things to try and make living with our disabilities a tiny bit more manageable.

Hope you are OK ☺️

I have a disabled persons railcard because I have MS. I can actually drive, and have a car, but my night vision is not really up to driving in the dark in places I don't know any more. I'm currently in London, and travelled down, and will return in daylight, so technically I could have driven. Did I use my railcard? Hell yeah!

Your friend sounds like an idiot. I felt a bit bad about getting my railcard, but would definitely prefer not to have a card and not have MS!

Op - don't ever get her tickets on your card and give her the discount. NEVER. You are entitled to it, she isn't, she can sort out her own bloody tickets.

Do not give up your railcard , you are absolutely entitled it .Your friend is thoughtless and has no understanding of why you and others with so called ‘invisable disabilities’ might need such adaptations. I could say worse but I won’t.

Your friend wasn’t very nice but if you earn a good salary then I don’t understand why you are using it as it’s taxpayers money. If you weren’t able to work because of a disability then that’s different.

But she earns a good salary. If it stopped her working then I understand but to earn a ‘good’ salary and still claim benefits because you can, I feel is wrong. No wonder the country’s in such a state.