To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

@cottonwoolbrain

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

What a nasty, jealous creature your ex-friend is, not only being ignorant but humiliating you in public as well. Nobody needs someone like this in their lives - glad you've given her the push. Now make sure you block her from every aspect of your life - block and delete. 🌹

My son gets enhanced pip and is eligible for motability, this has triggered jealousy with folk saying he’s not deserving because he’s not disabled enough. ( whatever that means) He has asd and will not use public transport. He would rather walk than get on a bus.
I feel the same as you
I am certain every disabled person would give up their disability and not have these things.

Keep the card, ditch the "friend"!

I've a relative and a friend who both can't drive because of health issues and like you rely on trains and buses to get about (taxis are too expensive, driving isn't possible). Of course you should have a railcard!

You may not be eligible for a Freedom pass, but the OP would be if she can’t have a licence because of her medical conditions.

People are only ok with disabled people getting 'perks' if they're poor and miserable.

My bil has started wearing shorts so people will see his prosthetic leg and leave him alone.

Did you know you get discount for the person you're travelling with too? She'd have got a cut price ticket if she was travelling with you.

Bet she wouldn't have moaned about it then.

Yes, I wondered if the "friend" accepted the discount, and still berated the OP. Maybe the OP will clarify whether that was the case.

You are absolutely entitled to that card.
Tell her to fuck off.
I'd have said that to her on the train to be honest and in a very loud voice explained that I had epilepsy and "How dare you speak to me about that and tell me I'm not entitled to use this card when you know fucking well that I have epilepsy and grand mal seizures"
Fucking bitch.
I hope you kick her sorry ass all the way to the moon.

As someone who commutes by train and therefore"subsidises" you, please enjoy that rail card x

In case anybody isn't aware, by the way, freedom pass funding comes from things like surplus monies from parking revenue. So all those people who get a ticket from the council for parking like a numpty are paying for disabled and elderly people to travel.

I have age related hearing loss and wear hearing aids so I can participate in community life.

For some reason this entitles me to a Disabled Rail Pass. I'm not quite sure why because being deaf doesn't stop me driving or reading the train indicator signs and it certainly doesn't help me hear the garbled PA announcements any better! However iI'm happy to pay the £2O odd pounds a year it costs and enjoy the discounts I get.

One friend has made similar comments to yours, that I'm not "properly' disabled. Which I sort of agree with. With hearing aids I can function pretty well and could manage full priced train travel but being even partially deaf is a life limiting PITA and if it comes with one small perk I'm grabbing it.

My other half has epilepsy and has a disabled railcard…it’s there to ensure he doesn’t have to drive which could be dangerous , which is exactly why you use it, too. It’s only a third off, not like getting free travel (and I can say that driving to Manchester and back costs me £12.50, whereas the same train journey costs me £38 - I know which I’d prefer!). Did she get the discount for being with you, as well?

PS: I hope she sees this thread and is absolutely mortified.

PPS: She sounds like the kind of person who would tut at me using a disabled loo because I look absolutely fine, but my dyspraxia makes changing levels between standing and sitting occasionally challenging and I have no desire to end up sat on a public loo floor on my bare arse. I despise those judgey people.

What the hell? She sounds awful. Please don’t waste anymore time with her, she is not a friend. I am so sorry you have to live with an epilepsy diagnosis and you absolutely deserve the disabled rail card.

Dumb friend, not travel card.

Good god she’s a moron. Tell her to get to fuck and enjoy your card!

@cottonwoolbrain I have a Disabled Persons Railcard for the same reason. I have Epilepsy and you should feel completely entitled to your Railcard. I’m glad you decided to ditch her. She doesn’t sound like a friend at all. Don’t look back! I hope you have good friends in your life who are kind and know your worth. It doesn’t sound like she deserved you at all xx

Some friend. You definitely do not need someone like this in your life - but before you part company, make sure she knows why she's being kicked to the kerb. She needs to know what she's done.

As someone with the same diagnosis (grandmal and absences) YANBU. I really feel for you about getting rid of the epilepsy, if I could do so I would in a heartbeat. Seizures also leave me confused and dazed and not knowing who I am let alone the date. Drop her, she's not a friend. A friend wouldn't make you feel bad about your epilepsy, nor shame you for your blue badge. Epilepsy is bloody awful, and she should try to give a level of empathy rather than judgment. I'm sorry your going through this, OP.

My relative has a disabled rail card because she has autism and learning disabilities
she gets a discount for herself and a companion , needs it because she would need help with planning an unfamiliar journey or need help if something went wrong during the journey

Epilepsy means eligibility for a railcard. Honestly we are going backwards as a society. Ditch your friend after waving the terms in the face.

Husband has MS, he needs one, he uses one, he also drives, some days are harder than others, sod your ex-friend, shes a twat.

I don't know what the railcard gives you but I encourage everyone to claim everything they are entitled to. It's a use it or lose it sort of thing. If people stop claiming train cards, they will stop bothering to offer them.

Your mates a twat.

Why are there still people who think a person is only disabled if they need a wheelchair? There are so many hidden disabilities and you clearly need this card. I'm glad you've decided to ditch her.

Your friend is ignorant. What did she hope to achieve by lecturing you about something you are very rightly entitled to other than to upset you and make herself look Ill informed. I’m sure anyone listening in on the conversation would have been judging her more than you. 💐